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Week 191 – Silence, Love Tips And A Request To Any Somalian Pirates.

Well here we are at Week 191.

I was thinking on what to write yesterday morning and this came to me.

You see, I travel to work by bus. I like buses but I hate passengers. Why can’t folks simply be quiet. I don’t want to hear someone on their phone talking a lot of pish. I don’t want to hear old people talking about their many, many varied, oozing ailments and I especially don’t want to listen to young mothers talking complete nonsense to their noisy little shit-machines. I had one woman hushing her screaming kid for around three miles. The kid had shut up after two but this Sean Connery snake woman continued to ‘Shhhh’.

Continue reading “Week 191 – Silence, Love Tips And A Request To Any Somalian Pirates.”

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Week 189 – A Warning, Back-Ups And No Apologies. (Do not read if you are liable to be offended.)- and he’s not kidding!!

Here we are at week 189, doesn’t time fly when you are having your last hour in your bed? Any other time it is just its usual slow mundane shite.

Now this has been done in a bit of a rush, but no matter what, I really need to warn you not to read on if you are a wee bit sensitive. I’ve got myself into enough trouble lately with my words so I thought I would give you all plenty of time to bail out.

If you like religion and cherish pregnancy, you may be a bit perturbed with a couple of parts, so walk away now.

If you don’t then don’t moan as you will just look like a twat.

Continue reading “Week 189 – A Warning, Back-Ups And No Apologies. (Do not read if you are liable to be offended.)- and he’s not kidding!!”

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Week 187 – Titbawz, Boris And Impetigo Equality

The only reason that I’m starting this way is that I have the radio on.
I fucking hate ‘Coldplay’.

‘Fix You’ just showcases what a whining, irritating voice Chris Martin has. He sings and I want to open a vein…No, an artery! He is a mammary testicle of a man.

Continue reading “Week 187 – Titbawz, Boris And Impetigo Equality”

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Week 184 – Drinking Alone, Large People And Testicle Mutilation

Well here we are at Week 184, it’s a follow on from 183 but it won’t be half as intelligent!

I’ve written quite a few times about double standards. This irony keeps popping up in life and it gives us a lot of ideas and things to write about.

Continue reading “Week 184 – Drinking Alone, Large People And Testicle Mutilation”

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Week 174 – Avoidance, Rat-Motherfuckers And Ideas You Wished You Had Thought Of.

Here we are at Week 174 and if there was anyway I could eradicate a Saturday, I would!

I honestly wish I was anywhere in the planet other than here in Scotland for the next week. In fact I wish I was on another fecking planet.

Continue reading “Week 174 – Avoidance, Rat-Motherfuckers And Ideas You Wished You Had Thought Of.”

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Week 173 – Mental Health, Writing About Mental Health And The PC Cowards Who Do More Harm Than Good.

Hi folks we are now at Week 173 and getting closer to 200 000 hits on the site! All is good!

We receive a lot of stories about mental health. This should always be showcased, considered and faced. But let’s be honest, this has become a bit of overkill. We all have some form of mental health problems in the same way that we all get a cold.

A cold shows up a few times a year and we have to knuckle down and get on with it. That is manageable. But if it escalates into the flu, pleurisy or pneumonia, then that’s getting serious.

Mental health is the same.

‘I’m sorry but I’m feeling a bit anxious due to my last selfie looking a bit pish’ isn’t that serious. It may be the cold version of narcissistic PD but its shite compared to the ‘I’m mad and want to kill you through the head’ people. Obviously those issues may need you to talk to someone and take a wee pill.

I think we should take our lead from animals. Most of their insecurities end in violence but at least they don’t spend hours boring folks with their PTSD problems due to a ragged nail on the night their granny told them that she was actually their grandpa.

We are also inundated with child bearing mental problems. Again, look to the animals of this world. If they can’t handle their offspring they eat them. I know it may be radical but again it would save a lot of tears from those poor fucks who have to listen to the explanation of their baby blues.

This all brings me to my point. Is content distasteful to us all or does it depend on your experience?

If your Great Uncle Norbert was killed during World War 1, would that make you find all those stories offensive?

If your wee brother Lionel / Lionelmenna was a cross dressing dictator from Peru, would you never want to read ‘Paddington’?

If you went to school with Jimmy The Junky who OD’d would you never take a Tramadol?

If you have finished a bottle of Talisker and not had the money for another one would that put you off saving up?

And if your sister was very sociable, accommodating and enjoyed letting you watch, would that put you off relatives, sex, football teams, romance, plungers, farmers, water sports and Turkish Delight?

I can’t answer for them all but I am saving up for more malt.

I wouldn’t want to bore you with my therapy sessions but my therapist is very experimental and gentle. I may need therapy about that one day.

I just find it weird when folks get on their high horse and state that some stories are terrible and sick. They finish off their argument with pish like, ‘It’s not funny, my gran died in a tragic knitting and bubble bath accident and I don’t want to be reminded of this by reading about it.’

No offence folks but that is funny!

We have all suffered. We’ve all experienced death and trauma.

They should be commenting about their hurt due to loss not blanketing a situation whether it be ridiculous or recognisable.

OK guys onto this weeks stories.

We have a first, a second, a third, a fourth and a tenth time contributor. So shame on you Mr Clayton for being so successful and ruining my numeric link!

Our topics this week include a marital aid, positive / negative handling of friends, rebellion, an actor and another actor.

As always our initial comments follow.

On Monday we had the second offering from Tom Chambless. He started off the week with ‘The Great God Cernunnos

‘A darker end of the humour spectrum.’

‘I enjoyed the idea of his paranoia and her getting her jollies.’

‘The ending about him being discussed was concise and realistic.’

Nick Sweeney was next up with his fourth story.

Pavlov’s Dogs‘ was published on Tuesday.

‘I had to concentrate, this was a proper read.’

‘Carrie was an interesting character. She was deep and resourceful.’

‘There were all sorts of terror, friendships and reality – I liked this.’

Our only newbie this week was Vanessa Gonzales. We welcome her and hope that she has fun on the site and continues to send us more of her work.

Don’t Feed The Goat‘ broke the back of the week.

‘We knew that she was never going to make a break for it so any rebellion worked.’

‘The minor act was major.’

‘Nicely told and a good conclusion.’

On Thursday we had Roger Ley with his third story.

‘The Masquerade’ nearly finished off the week.’

‘Once I’d read this, I had a grin on my face.’

‘A fun piece.’

‘This made me smile and I found myself rooting for the MC. I think it had to do with my Mr Benn fetish. (Sorry Nik!!)

And now to Mr Spoil My Sequence! Well that is if we write 2,4,1,3,10.

Martin Clayton sure can immerse you into his locations. He finished us off with ‘The Curse‘ (I actually thought this was going to be a totally different story involving painters.)

Wisely it wasn’t! Brilliant he is!!

‘Good story and great tone.’

‘The ending was really well handled.’

‘I wasn’t expecting this to have a dark side to it.’

That’s us for another week. I hope that you have taken the posting as intended!

At the beginning of this I was trying to make a point on the outraged regarding content. That isn’t meant to take away from the one thing that no-one is allowed to say or consider regarding mental health due to the PC and Care Sector, Molly-Coddling, Cotton Wool Wrapping, Trendy Empathic, Ball-less, Colleague Incestuous, Nazi Fuckwits…

…Unfortunately all those actively seeking medication or benefit know what buttons to push. And this takes away from those in genuine need and crisis.

Not everyone is in need or crisis. They either have a symptom of life or their symptoms become a financial and medicated way of life.

These all need recognising for what they are.

…But they all give us something to write about!

Hugh

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Week 170 – Comfort, Pride And A Rebellious Pish.

Hi folks, another week has came and went.

There’s a lot going on in the world but to be truthful it’s all so depressing that it’s hardly worth mentioning.

If you are worried, don’t be.

Continue reading “Week 170 – Comfort, Pride And A Rebellious Pish.”