Week 187 – Titbawz, Boris And Impetigo Equality

The only reason that I’m starting this way is that I have the radio on.
I fucking hate ‘Coldplay’.

‘Fix You’ just showcases what a whining, irritating voice Chris Martin has. He sings and I want to open a vein…No, an artery! He is a mammary testicle of a man.

The statement regarding him and the Paltrow Wumin splitting up as a ‘conscious uncoupling’ was so far up their own arses that I’m surprised that they didn’t trip up over their fecking tonsils.

And don’t get me started on the names ‘Apple’ and ‘Moses’.

They are a pair of tossers and I think I am starting to judge anyone who likes them.
Sorry for that interruption. I suppose in a way, annoying things is what this post is all about.

Mr Johnston (Our ex-Home Secretary) has been in the news for some of his statements.  His comments were showcasing an opinion and actually a valid point but in the PC madness that we are now living in, the valid point is lost because he is being crucified for how he put it across.

I will not be drawn into this except to say that the point he was making is all about an inverted discrimination. That in turn becomes ridicule and a blame of racism, discrimination and bigotry.

So to my point. I got into an argument years ago with one of my gaffers who stated that because I was a heterosexual white male over thirty-five I wasn’t discriminated against. I took umbrage at this and pointed out that ‘By fuck I was!’

She asked me in what way and I, for the next hour explained that due to me not being discriminated against, this was in fact discrimination.

No-one discriminates against me due to my religion but to be fair I don’t have one.
The colour of my skin is never mentioned because anyone who sees yellow knows that my liver is fucked and they don’t want to point it out.

My clothes are never a topic of interest. Primark and Matalan are far too popular.
I am encouraged to cover up. The more coverage the better.

My sex is never mentioned. Well I’m getting to that stage in my life that no one wants to think of me that way.

I’m in a minority group, but being an individual is never ridiculed. This has nothing to do with discrimination, it’s simply that everyone hates me. I’ve been told. On numerous occasions. By my family. Religious Professionals. Puppies. And every branch of The Samaritans. So hopefully you’ll see that I and those like me, (Barry the MP and beast who has FOS) are not discriminated against and we are not happy about it. Wait a minute. Barry is! He’s a Conservative Supporter and other Conservatives are jealous of his activities and popularity.

Equal pay is also, we’ve been told, a form of discrimination. I don’t think so. It’s a class difference. You hear the stories of a man getting paid three hundred thousand a year where his female counter-part is being paid two hundred thousand a year. This is wrong but it doesn’t filter its way down. I get paid thirteen grand a year and so does any women who works with me. We are both privileged that we both can’t afford to heat our houses. Equality rocks! We would never want the argument about one hundred thousand when we can share an impetigo ridden hand towel!

I was going to write about exaggeration for next week but I have nothing!!

OK onto this weeks stories.

We had three new writers, one returning author and one of our best story tellers for your entertainment.
To our débutantes we extend a warm welcome and hope that they continue to work with us for a very long time.
Our topics this week included; cooking lessons, inhumanity, the devils work, cold calling and Grenfell Towers.
As always, our initial comments follow.

On Monday we had our first new writer.

Frank Morelli started us off with ‘Case File: Something’s Cooking Under Where?

‘Immensely silly and fun to read.’
‘This had a lot of charm and made me laugh.’
‘A bit of nonsense with a ridiculous ending – Just the antidote I needed.’

Dave Henson has been a regular contributor for the last two years. Have a look at his back catalogue and read through, every story is a gem!

A Particular Type Of Scumbag‘ was next up.

‘This is very relateable.’
‘I enjoyed reading about his past inventions.’
‘Just a superbly told story.’

On Wednesday our second new writer took on a harrowing topic quite brilliantly.
Under The Same Sun‘ was Astrid Ann Larsen’s first story for us.

‘The first section tackles the subject matter subtly and in a way, that is more unsettling.’
‘Powerful, beautifully written and this is a great addition to the site.’
‘The furnace scene is so harrowing but not gratuitous, it doesn’t need to be as the facts are horrific enough.’

Hayley Sleigh is our third new writer. She also took on a horrific event. So many people were affected and so many are still looking for answers.

I think Hayley has done this with sensitivity and respect.
Waiting‘ was published on Thursday.

‘Really disturbing.’
‘When put into context, this is heartbreaking.’
‘I hope this causes folks who don’t know to seek out the footage.’

We finished off the week with a returning author.
We always enjoy a returning author!

Drew Johnston finished off the week with ‘Mandragora‘.

‘This took a premonition story and gave it a cause.’
‘Clever idea and good scene setting.’
‘The Devil using computers to do his work is very believable!’

That’s us for another week folks.

And no matter what, always remember that you have freedom of choice.
So if you choose to listen and appreciate Coldplay, that’s your right.
…But you will be judged and ridiculed.
…And rightly so!

Hugh

Banner Image: eeeuw – you can smell it can’t you. Thanks Pixabay.

10 thoughts on “Week 187 – Titbawz, Boris And Impetigo Equality

  1. What’s with all the whiny music anymore. It all began with goddam Morrisey (sp); he should have been served with poisoned cheese. And if I hear or read or see one more guy gripe about his Daddy in song, print, or in film my head will splatter much more realistically than the one in Scanners. Maaan if those dudes were my kids I would have gotten the hell out of town ASAP as well. Imagine gazing into the crib at your first born and thinking, “Wow, someday this little piece of shit will exploit my shortcomings for profit and pity sex. That’s my boy!”

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    • Yep, Morrisey was, is, and always will be a tit!
      I honestly think that music went down-hill from 1986.
      I would ban anything that has the word ‘featuring’ in it.
      There is no excuse for Bieber.
      And Country And Western should only be used as Comedy Gold. (‘Mamma Teddy-Bear’, ‘No Charge’, ‘Nobodies Child’, ‘Patches’, ‘Drive Safely Darlin” and ‘Honey’ are spectacularly bad but hilarious!! To be fair, those songs aren’t all C&W.)
      Billy Connolly once stated that he wanted to record a sad C&W track entitled, ‘My Granny Drowned In The Grotto At Lourdes.’ I think it would have been as good as his version of ‘Tell Laura I Love Her’.
      Thanks as always Leila!!
      Hugh

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  2. About music – I’m glad that I got my plug for Aretha Franklin in “Nose” before she died (here and Short Humour – this Americano seems to be mostly Brit when it comes to writing). According to her biography she was largely a mess outside of music, but what a singer and pianist. An example – her uptempo take on the legendary “You Are My Sunshine”. Take that rappers, Elton John and ex-Disney stars.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Years ago as a free-lance entertainment news producer, I was covering a party at Jay-Z’s Tribeca apartment with a bunch of other journalists. The Limo pulls up and it’s Chris Martin of Coldplay and Gwyneth Paltrow of Goop in the back seat of the limo hiding and trying to cover their faces from the Paparazzi. They were already a couple. They must have known there would be photographers there to cover the event- what were they hiding from? Why? Same could be said of Coldplay…Why?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Adam!
      I think some folks make a career of being twats! And when they retire, if they ever do, there is always some-one to take their place.

      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

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  4. Being Sunday, I have decided to show sympathy for persons who do not normally get (or deserve) any. It will also serve as an excuse to postpone writing. The poor Paparazzi. They follow celebrities the way the lepers shadowed Jesus. But the object of their work is not to connect with the child of God, but with assholes who only think they are.

    Liked by 1 person

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