Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 333 – A Maiden Amount, Some New Traits For Samael And Patches Isn’t Just About Dungarees.

Here we are at Week 333 – Half the number of the beast.

I realised that I didn’t know why 666 was the number of the beast so I looked it up.

I’m none the wiser! It’s a bit complicated.

Continue reading “Week 333 – A Maiden Amount, Some New Traits For Samael And Patches Isn’t Just About Dungarees.”
All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction

Week 332: At War With Reality, and The Apocalypse A to Z

At War With Reality

I like to create an artificial sense of order. To achieve this I write a To Do List everyday. I neither accomplish nor consult the thing after I make it, but the act of creating a To Do List and peeling it off the pad and sticking it to the wall behind my monitor temporarily places me in control. It makes me feel like I’m doing something; that I am in charge.

I write my daily list on one of the dozen or so multi-colored sticky pads that may or may not have at one time been inside the office supply closet at my workplace. I use one of the fifty or so black “Precise Rolling Ball” pens that may or may not hail from the same source as the sticky pads to write my To Do Lists (used to do them in a fine point Sharpie until the supply dried up). I take heart from the pastel squares of Great Deeds to be Done accumulating on the wall like coral. Many have given up the stick and have fallen into the slim space between my desk and the wall, down amongst the spiders. But looking up at those which hang in there gives me the artificial sense of order that I crave.

Continue reading “Week 332: At War With Reality, and The Apocalypse A to Z”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 331 – Even Derren Brown Would Struggle With Some Of Our Submissions, At Least We Know The Words To Our Anthem And Yet Another Mad Tory Shagger!

Well here we are at Week 331.

Every now and then we throw in a few nuggets of wisdom about the site and what we look for. Or how we consider submissions in general, so with that in mind, I’d like to concentrate on fledgling writers and pass on a few bits of advice. I think any writer who has done this for any length of time will agree with most of these.

Continue reading “Week 331 – Even Derren Brown Would Struggle With Some Of Our Submissions, At Least We Know The Words To Our Anthem And Yet Another Mad Tory Shagger!”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 329 – Remembering Stewpot, Wondering If Two Snowflakes Are Frightened Of Everything And China Crisis Did Some Good Songs.

It’s Saturday afternoon.

It’s Twelve O’ Clock.

And this is post 329.

I hated ‘Crackerjack’.

It was a kids show that ended with a quiz. If the kid got a question correct, they got a prize that they had to hold. If they got it wrong they were given a cabbage. If they dropped anything, they got another cabbage.

But on the bright side, the wee stupid weans would at least have coleslaw and soup to eat for a few weeks!

Continue reading “Week 329 – Remembering Stewpot, Wondering If Two Snowflakes Are Frightened Of Everything And China Crisis Did Some Good Songs.”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 328 – He Always Wanted To Be Sammy, More Brilliance From Tom And Potential Familiarities

Before we start, we have a Brucie Bonus:

‘Nice to see you, to see you…’ – Oh I can’t be bothered! If you don’t know the reference, I suggest you don’t look it up.

We have a secret level today, a wee addition.

We are delighted to announce that we’ve received a piece of work from the legend himself, that, to be honest, we didn’t know how to categorise. It isn’t exactly prose. It’s definitely not a story or essay. And it’s not a poem.

But what it is, is a brilliant piece of writing.

Continue reading “Week 328 – He Always Wanted To Be Sammy, More Brilliance From Tom And Potential Familiarities”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 326 – A Successful Return, ‘Shall We Shag Now Or Shall We Shag Later? And Who’s Got A Beard That’s Long And White?

Another thanks to Leila for doing such a sterling job last week.

We had an inventive posting from a lady with a brilliant imagination.

Your back in the mud guys with me!!

Continue reading “Week 326 – A Successful Return, ‘Shall We Shag Now Or Shall We Shag Later? And Who’s Got A Beard That’s Long And White?”
Literally Reruns, Short Fiction

Week 325: Little Vermin Have Big Ears

Advisory

No vermin have been harmed during the production of this post. The only vermin the author would like to harm are those who police matters of pronoun usage. In this piece Rats will be referred to in the masculine and Mice in the feminine (and yes, I know capitalizing vermin species deviates from standard usage). It could have gone either way, but mention of the late Audrey Hepburn, in relation to Mice, was the deciding factor.

For those persons who will still take offense on general principle, due to the combined deficiencies of their parents, mentors and education systems, I offer this item I found on Google yesterday during my research for this piece: Oxygen through the rectum aids in respiration. Since the persons addressed in this paragraph think and speak with and through their rectums, I find it fair to point out that there are health benefits to be gained from such ignorant actions.

Continue reading “Week 325: Little Vermin Have Big Ears”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 324 – An Advert, He’s Behind You And I’ll Always Remember The Belter That Was Effie!!!!!!!!!!

Before I begin, I send out a warning to ‘The Sensitives’ – God forbid us ever upsetting ‘The Sensitives’ by mention even one of the three trillion things that they’ll get upset about!!

To all you ‘Sensitives’ out there, I use the bad swear word three times in the last two paragraphs so either take some Prozac or don’t read those paragraphs.

And I mean the bad, bad swear word that sounds like Kent if you are from London. You know the one I mean, well maybe you don’t, the one that’s a term for a lady part and not the cheeky ‘f’ word for a lady part that I refuse to use as I hate it. So many folks do and think it’s a bit of a laugh but not me!

However…Have a look –

Anyhow – You’ve been warned!

Continue reading “Week 324 – An Advert, He’s Behind You And I’ll Always Remember The Belter That Was Effie!!!!!!!!!!”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 323: A Dope By Any Other Name is Still a…

Prologue

Welcome to week 323. My name is Leila Allison, and I believe that I am the first American editor at Literally Stories, which, of course, means nothing to no one nowhere no how, but since I so rarely come in first, I thought I’d mention it.

For those who are addicted to Hugh’s Saturday posts, I extend my apologies. But the fellow deserves a break every so often, and this week I have taken up the cause in his place. Although I have no idea what Hugh will do on his mini-vacation, rest assured it probably doesn’t involve listening to Coldplay or soliciting funds for a statue of the late Royal Consort to be erected in Ayr, Scotland.

The world is an unsteady place, but one thing is for certain: Hugh makes the Saturday post look easier than it is to accomplish in reality. So it is with great anxiety and a general sense of foreboding that I now present my pale imitation of the master.

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Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 322 – On A Hot Summer Night Would You Offer Your Throat To The Wolf With The Red Roses? Shang-A-Lang And The Greatest’s Greatest Line.

Les McKeown
Jim Steinman

Another week has come and gone and we’re still receiving plenty of submissions.

Continue reading “Week 322 – On A Hot Summer Night Would You Offer Your Throat To The Wolf With The Red Roses? Shang-A-Lang And The Greatest’s Greatest Line.”