Week 191 – Silence, Love Tips And A Request To Any Somalian Pirates.

Well here we are at Week 191.

I was thinking on what to write yesterday morning and this came to me.

You see, I travel to work by bus. I like buses but I hate passengers. Why can’t folks simply be quiet. I don’t want to hear someone on their phone talking a lot of pish. I don’t want to hear old people talking about their many, many varied, oozing ailments and I especially don’t want to listen to young mothers talking complete nonsense to their noisy little shit-machines. I had one woman hushing her screaming kid for around three miles. The kid had shut up after two but this Sean Connery snake woman continued to ‘Shhhh’.

Continue reading

Week 189 – A Warning, Back-Ups And No Apologies. (Do not read if you are liable to be offended.)- and he’s not kidding!!

Here we are at week 189, doesn’t time fly when you are having your last hour in your bed? Any other time it is just its usual slow mundane shite.

Now this has been done in a bit of a rush, but no matter what, I really need to warn you not to read on if you are a wee bit sensitive. I’ve got myself into enough trouble lately with my words so I thought I would give you all plenty of time to bail out.

If you like religion and cherish pregnancy, you may be a bit perturbed with a couple of parts, so walk away now.

If you don’t then don’t moan as you will just look like a twat.

Continue reading

Week 185 – Letters Of Acceptance, Rejection And Diane Biting.

This week, I thought I’d give you all a wee bit of insight into a part of our process. It is regarding acceptance and rejection letters.

Now just like being on the hunt for an interested person of the opposite sex, it is easier to be accepted than rejected. Not many of my rejections had ever been written, normally a ‘Fuck off’ would suffice. In the same way none of my acceptances ever produced a letter, just a very grateful me and a lady that I would later judge. (OK, I may have written some poetry, but it was the eighties and I had hair.)

It’s easy to say yes to a submission but we wouldn’t be doing anyone any justice if we did this as a given. So we try to keep the site’s integrity.

Continue reading