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Week 580 – A Travesty, Miss Needs A Plumber And Why Not, ‘The Queen’?

Here we go once again folks.

Saturday Posting 580 is upon us.

I was interrupted typing this as ‘Zulu’ came on the TV. It made me wonder what were the films that I’ve watched the most times. (A nod to Leila with a list!)

Off the top of my head and ignoring, ‘Carry On’ films which would win hands down (Especially, ‘Follow That Camel’, ‘Cowboy’, ‘Cleo’ and ‘Up The Jungle’) I thought of-

Zulu

The Count Of Monte Cristo.

Jaws.

The Poseidon Adventure.

Young Frankenstein.

Once Upon A Time In America.

Who Dares Wins.

The Towering Inferno.

Con Air.

A Night To Remember.

Expendables.

Wedding Belles.

The Omen.

Love, Honour And Obey.

White Heat.

…And I need to mention, ‘The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare’ as I know that will become weel watched!!

I’d be very interested to read your well watched films. Unless, that is, any have Tom Hanks or weeee Tom Cruise in them!!

I want to start with this posting by mentioning this Artemis shite. Our world is in turmoil. We have people being displaced through no fault of their own. There’s famine, destruction, shortage of water, disease, depravation, energy shortage, increasing energy costs and so much death.

…And what do the powers that be think a good way to spend NINETY THREE BILLION DOLLARS on??

…They wisely don’t think that they should use that money on famine, destruction, shortage of water, disease, depravation, energy shortage, increasing energy costs and so much death, no, they think it’s a cracking idea to have a jolly around the moon!!

What really bugs me is this. Since the waste of money was a success, what difference has it made to the plight of the good folks effected by all that I’ve previously mentioned – Fucking nothing!!

If the waste of money blew up at lift off, what difference would it have made to the plight of the good folks effected by all that I’ve previously mentioned – Fucking none!!!

Mind you…At least those astronauts friends would have been spared from ‘When I was in space’ shite-talk every time the fuckers opened their mouths!!

There was never a truer thing said when it was stated that they looked down on our world!!!

This is the first time I’ve ever said this but I hope it was all an AI hoax and some wee lackey has pocketed the fucking money. At least one person would be having a good time on it!!

I had a look and according to what I could see, seemingly, rocket fuel doesn’t do that much damage to the ozone. (If you believe what we’re told) This has to be true!! A mere seven hundred thousand tonnes of rocket fuel can only enhance the planet!! Not like a skoosh of deodorant or a cow’s flatulence!

Another plus – I hope wee Greta had a sob!!! To me this is the first time that she’d have had a point!

This quote wasn’t for this complete arrogance of ignoring their fellow man, but I think it’s appropriate:

*‘Scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn’t stop to think if they should.’

All that money could have saved so many lives. Shame on all involved and all the fuckwits who cheered!!!

…The only thing that’s more expensive and more pointless is a war!

*Anyone know where the quote came from?

This song shouldn’t, but will always be ignored!

Talking about AI, we’ve had an issue here in Scotland with school weans. (Pronounced Wayne’s meaning children)

The wee delights have been using software and pictures of their teachers to make it seem that their teachers were doing things that only catholic priests can manage. They also threw in some acts of violence and other depravity. Certain teachers have had to take time off with stress. (Fucking wimps!) If we had that ability in our day, we wouldn’t have dared. Not through respect. Not through not wanting to but simply because we knew the teachers would have belted us into oblivion!!

That would be apart from Mr Heigh, he would have been more than happy to pose and come up with some artistic ideas!

Now onto this week’s stories.

We had two new folks who we welcome, a third timer and two well established writers of the site.

First up on Monday was the multi-talented Adam Kluger with ‘Swiper Alley’. This was story number fifty eight for him.

‘This is a reflection of the world we live in.’

‘I like Adam’s world view.’

‘His art enhances his stories.’

Stephen Silvester was next with his third story for us entitled, ‘Stonechat.’

‘This is clever.’

‘There are some witty lines to enjoy.’

‘This is as good an idea as I’ve seen for a while.’

On Wednesday, we had a legend who has now reached story number one hundred and one. ‘Mr Lucky’ was next up for Fred Foote.

‘I think the first after a hundred would be very difficult to do!!’

‘There is some devilment within.’

‘Fred is always a class act.’

Our first new writer was Mary Jo Thomas. Her story was called, ‘Winter Solstice.’

‘This has that little something that we are always on the look-out for.’

‘A really well thought out idea.’

‘It’s a wee bit different.’

And we finished off with our second new writer, Callie J. Smith. Its title was, ‘The Monk’s Knife’.

‘Weird and well written – What’s not to like?’

‘The mix of ordinary and extraordinary was well done.’

‘This easily won me over.’

That’s us for another week folks.

Keep doing what you are doing.

The comments were up five percent last month so all good!

Two things before some music.

Firstly – I need to give a nod to Rory McIlroy as he became only the fourth golfer to win back to back Masters wins. (Jack Nicklaus, Nick Faldo and Tiger Woods are the other three.)

And thank you Sky for your TV domination which stopped me watching it!!!

I’ve probably told you my favourite golfing saying many times before but since I haven’t pissed off the woke fuckers for a while, here it is again.

A short putt can be called a Rock Hudson…It looks straight but isn’t!

Secondly here is something that fucks up the idea that ‘they’ can be used as a pronoun.

A wee riddle to tease you.

Add one letter to two letters to change gender.

Add another letter to change it back.

Add another three to change it again.

Take away one and when taken, means you’ll not give a fuck who or what you are.

There’s no specific reason why I have chosen this piece of music, I think it was simply because I wanted something that’s more enhanced the louder that you play it!!

Turn up your speakers and enjoy!!

Hugh

Image: A space craft separating and a capsule heading for the moon. From Pixabay.com

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Week 577: Can’t Teach a Shark to Kill Tofu

(Elliott the Header Pigeon is on vacation this week. PDQ Peety is filling in and is also  filling  himself with PDQ Pilsner.)

Introduction

I again found myself undertaking the idea of the End of Humankind. Which is not to be confused with the End of the World because that will happen a few billion years from now when the sun dies, at which time it will greatly expand and obliterate everything on out to Jupiter. Like the rabid cur shot dead by Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird a dead sun is still a dangerous sun.

Continue reading “Week 577: Can’t Teach a Shark to Kill Tofu”
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Week 576 – Pretty Colours, Being Alert And An Attempt At Misdirection.

Hello there folks and folkessess. Here we go again and are at Week 576.

Before I start I need to warn you that there is a new virus doing the rounds. If you get it, don’t go to A&E. With this ‘Peekaboo Virus’ go to ICU.

I apologise for that and I despise myself for admitting that it did make me smile. (Mr Cowan once again.)

Continue reading “Week 576 – Pretty Colours, Being Alert And An Attempt At Misdirection.”
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Week 574 – Satanic Third Month, I Never Mentioned S.O.B, And Impossible Travel Insurance.

Here we are at Week 574.

I can’t believe that the first week in March is already now over.

Idiot gardeners are outside tiding up. They’re wasting their time. March is a sneaky bastard of a month. You think the weather will get better but it doesn’t. Rest assured we will be in for gales and snow. Twice I spun my car off the road and both times it was in March.

Continue reading “Week 574 – Satanic Third Month, I Never Mentioned S.O.B, And Impossible Travel Insurance.”
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Week 572 – Medals, Trys And Advice.

It’s now week 572!

I feel that the year is fair flying in. I think that happens when there isn’t much to look forward to!

Before I start writing the usual pish that I do, I’d like to point out that the site now has over one and a half million hits!

Continue reading “Week 572 – Medals, Trys And Advice.”
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569: More Grammar Gripes

Every year or so I feel obliged to make a statement on behalf of proper grammar in the English language. Before the tongue is finally killed and left to rot in the Pop Culture Wood, I feel that it is the duty of writers long acquainted with the written word to get in a few shots at the would-be murderers. The killers of language are the Usual Suspects, namely the Selfish and Lazy (from here, “Sal”).

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How Many Times Do We Need To Mention The Distribution Of Wealth, French Fred Is A Legend And Remember, Sean said Shhhhean!

Well here we are at Week 568!!!

Hello there guys!

I’ve just read something that fucking disgusts me!

In Britain, the billionaires made more money last year – They made more billions.

We have people who can’t afford to feed their families and can’t heat their houses but these fuckwits have made around ten million a day between them to increase their wealth. Overall that is – Makes it a lot better, doesn’t it????

Continue reading “How Many Times Do We Need To Mention The Distribution Of Wealth, French Fred Is A Legend And Remember, Sean said Shhhhean!”
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Week 567- Superfluous Quotation Marks

The Introduction

This is my first wrap of 2026. A few weeks away have made me flabby because I am unnaturally lazy. Therefore, like an athlete gone to seed, I will pull on the sweats and attempt to get in shape by writing about small pointless items and work my way into good enough form to intelligently write about this week’s group of stories. All within a few paragraphs. I aim to put a point on pointless, to sharpen its, well, pointy, or at least pointier end, then use it to etch profound wisdom on the corbomite* walls of public inanity. (*Extremely hard and potentially explosive fictional mass invented by Captain James T. Kirk, known associate of Hardcourt Fenton Mudd, a suspected interstellar Jeffrey Epstein of the 23rd Century.)

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Week 566 -Obvious Prezzies, Paul Newman Was Brilliant And A Nod To Johnny Kidd And The Pirates.

Here we are at the first of the New Year with Week 566

Well, that’s the festivities over for another year. I hope you all have had a restful or mad time or a bit of both. I had some beautifully wrapped presents this year. I received a life size Dalek, a lucky horse shoe, an inflated beach ball and an anchor. I was grateful but not one of them was a surprise.

Continue reading “Week 566 -Obvious Prezzies, Paul Newman Was Brilliant And A Nod To Johnny Kidd And The Pirates.”
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Week 561 – Keep Your Distance, Gregory And Lawrence And Remembering The Hurricane.

Here we are at Week 561.

A few things have come to light throughout the past couple of weeks.

Firstly – Following on from Leila’s comments about the submissions we received a few weeks back:

Continue reading “Week 561 – Keep Your Distance, Gregory And Lawrence And Remembering The Hurricane.”