Short Fiction

Literally Reruns: The Assistant Town Drunk: From Zero to Hero in Seconds by Todd Mercer

ireneallison12

The dreadful ghoul has been beaten to death after death with cudgels, sticks, baseball bats and dirty old men, but the hardest thing in writing to do, I think, is setting out to be funny and actually succeeding. I do not know if Todd Mercer had that in mind when he set out to write The Assistant Town Drunk: From Zero to Hero in Seconds, but funny is what he delivered. There’s subtle wit and slapstick all the way through this one and we highly recommend it for those who might be feeling low.

Continue reading “Literally Reruns: The Assistant Town Drunk: From Zero to Hero in Seconds by Todd Mercer” →
All Stories, Editor Picks, General Fiction, Humour, Latest News, Short Fiction

593: Limping Mind Games

ireneallison12

-1-

The dumbest question to ask a kid must be “What do you want to be when you grow up?” (Often preceded by “So”). For me the best answers for that are “How the fuck should I know, I’m seven”; “Lizzie Borden” and “Anything that takes me away from you.” But I never used any because even at that young age I knew it was an insincere “points winning” question usually asked by some dweeb whose aim was to screw my mother.

Continue reading “593: Limping Mind Games” →
All Stories, General Fiction

Clickety-click by Ian C Smith

literallystories2014

I still read about wanderlust though my nomadic days have dwindled.  Reading about the swish current Melbourne-Sydney train, the XPT, kindles a memory of The Spirit of Progress, the titan of the tracks from my boyhood.  When I first rode it at thirteen, paddocks of silvery grass shivered, wan morning light breaking over imagined desperadoes’ campfires, rural Victoria flying past like life, silent stations a blur.  Ticketless, wearing sad belligerence’s long overcoat, I rehearsed my tale.  This account was not for my furious parents’, but my schoolmates’ ears.  My burgeoning description of speeding back in custody for daring crime when skipping school, and the resulting vivid arse-whipping, having hitchhiked from big trouble, would consolidate my schoolyard status.

Continue reading “Clickety-click by Ian C Smith” →
General Fiction, Short Fiction

Almost Cinderella by Claudine Mussuto

literallystories2014

In my mind, I walked in bare feet on a narrow, yellowed, dry-grass path, not stilettos or Merrell’s, Asic’s or glass slippers. Posturing and protection seemed incompatible with the advancing disclosures.

Left and right there were walls of water like the falls in certain hotel lobbies and shopping malls, but seemingly static, not flowing, like glacial ice, the same layered turquoise and white, and mirrored, warped, the way shame distorts what isn’t love into something recognizable and consequently accepted.  There was enough width for my shoulders plus an inch or two on either side.

Continue reading “Almost Cinderella by Claudine Mussuto” →
All Stories, General Fiction

Little Bites by Jake K. Istuk

literallystories2014

She’s never home when I want her to be, and when she is, sometimes I wish she’d just go. Tonight there’s a cat on our couch. It’s purring under the pressure of her palm. She’s left the window open, and the very edge of a drizzle is falling through. Tiny little droplets are falling through the awnings and onto the windowsill. Portents of water damage and mold.

Continue reading “Little Bites by Jake K. Istuk” →
All Stories, Fantasy, General Fiction

Louis Lovelace and the Salvation Economy by Zachary Arama

literallystories2014

September 8th

The idea came to Louis Lovelace after a phone call informing him of the end of the world.

He groped for an excuse to end the call, but his mind was foggy from the smoldering joint in the ashtray. He’d been burning through the severance from his last job for almost five months now, and the truth was he had nothing better to do than listen.

“Louis, it’s Sheldon. We went to college together, remember?” the hopeful voice on the other end of the line said.

“I know this seems strange, but it’s urgent.”

Louis remembered Sheldon as a devoutly religious student who shared his notes whenever Louis was too hungover to take his own. They had hardly been friends, and in the fifteen years since graduation, Louis hadn’t thought about him once.

Continue reading “Louis Lovelace and the Salvation Economy by Zachary Arama” →
All Stories, General Fiction

The Butcher by Brandon Sharp

literallystories2014

The Damascus steel, fresh off eight sets of eight strokes at fifteen degrees against the diamond rod, meets no resistance when you turn it on yourself by accident.  Across the web of skin that spans forefinger and thumb, a line of blood appears and lengthens until the bright sting of pain arrives.  You place the boning knife to the side of your butcher block with a gasp that you hope the other cooks don’t hear.  You hold the cut to your mouth and when you remove it from between your lips, you pretend what you see is a gash in someone else’s flesh.

Continue reading “The Butcher by Brandon Sharp” →
All Stories, Short Fiction, sunday whatever

Sunday Whatever: Tweedy on Reed an essay from Dale Williams Barrigar.

literallystories2014

“The dead don’t die.” – Jeff Tweedy

Whoever believes that a 58-year-old man can’t rock out any more hasn’t heard (or has heard and hasn’t understood) Jeff Tweedy’s new song “Lou Reed Was My Babysitter” from his 2025 triple album Twilight Override.

The symbolic title of this song alone is worth volumes as it encapsulates an American way of life, for good and ill, in five words.

Anything with Lou in it has to be great, or near-great, to justify the use of his name and this song is.

Continue reading “Sunday Whatever: Tweedy on Reed an essay from Dale Williams Barrigar.” →
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 592 – R.I.P The AP, Julius Is Second And No Nail Varnish.

gwencron

Another week, another Saturday Posting!

Week 592 if I’m not mistaken.

I wondered why I had so many random stories this week. But I realised why, I held the newspapers back and hadn’t read them for a few days, most of this nonsense, I found today. It’s actually a bit of fortune as I had very little to go on. What I did have can wait for another day.

Continue reading “Week 592 – R.I.P The AP, Julius Is Second And No Nail Varnish.” →
All Stories, Historical

Manorial Roll by Ann Tlusty

literallystories2014

In Which are recorded Arguments and Misunderstandings among Neighbors and Subjects in the Village of Gebsattel in Middle Franconia during my Tenure as Bailiff, and how the Same were Adjudicated and Settled, as well as Other Matters requiring Punishment in the Stocks.

Beginning in the Year of Our Lord Christ’s Birth,

Anno 1574.

Erhard Wolffhardt, Bailiff in Gebsattel

(Excerpts)

Continue reading “Manorial Roll by Ann Tlusty” →