Leila knows that you can’t go far wrong with a story from Hugh Cron. I reckon she spends much time rooting through his drawers – the ones in his cabinet down in the bowels of LS Towers – Okay I’ll go now and leave you with the lovely Leila – this is what she said:Continue reading “Literally Reruns – The Swans by Hugh Cron”
Here we are at week 299.
Our sixth year anniversary was on Tuesday but we will deal with that next week on our 300th posting.
We are still not publishing plague stories and do as much as we can not to mention it, you may have noticed.. But we do have something to thank it for and that is the removal of Peter Sutcliffe from this planet. I’m hoping that it has a job in hell repeatedly killing Thatcher only for it to make it redundant.Continue reading “Week 299 – Hell Getting Fuller, Plunging A Prick In A Prancer Pullover And Crocogaters Living On Tropical Islands.”
“Men are gold, and women are white cloth. Gold, once sullied, can be cleaned and polished, while white cloth, once soiled and torn, can never be clean again.”
Khmer proverbContinue reading “Haunt Me Like You Hate Me by Alex Sinclair”
Maggie slogged through the murky gloom of Water Street, her boots squelching in the muck. Gas streetlamps threw wavering silver cones into the darkness. The feeble light only accentuated the inky Manhattan night. Piles of manure and offal cast eerie shadows across the black mire.Continue reading “Hell Cat Laid Low by Marco Etheridge”
There are three music Spirits. First you have the Tintintinabulator. Tins were classically trained pianists in life who haunt specific keyboards (pianos, organs, harpsichords, etc.) in death. Tins are generally friendly, but being artists they are hypersensitive to criticism and require reassurance full time. Next we have the Chimespeak. Best described as self-taught travelling minstrels/buskers in life, Chimes are nomadic Spirits who wander from here to there and affect anything from the grandest church bells on down to kazoos fashioned from handkerchiefs and combs. Tastes aside, these two Spirits classes are equally talented even though the Tins tend to look down on the “prolish” Chimes, who in turn wonder how a Tin can look down on anything with “its” head so firmly tucked up its own buttocks.Continue reading “The Cormorant and the Misophonyx: A Feeble Fable of the Fantasmagorical by Leila Allison”
Orange Girls by Tim Frank
The orange girls hit the tanning salon then went to Lacey’s flat and smeared fake tan lotion on top just to be sure. They crammed into her bathroom, their bodies wrapped around each other like snakes in a cardboard box and then wrestled to gain a glimpse of themselves in the mirror. They slapped on foundation, blusher, eye shadow, eyeliner and fake eyelashes making sure not to swamp the almost bruised orangeness pasted across their thighs, cleavages and a multitude of other unmentionable crevices. They filled their bottles with vodka and orange, taking gulps like thirsty construction workers as they rode the train into town. Lacey lit a fag in the carriage on the way and then the rest followed suit. Soon the windows went foggy. Other passengers fake-coughed in protest and the orange girls turned brown in the dim light.Continue reading “6th Anniversary of Literally Stories – Today is the day. A post will follow on Saturday 28th celebrating all our milestones.”
Amber Kenny was a timid child. She had a round face and hair to match her name. Every night she prayed for her wild, orange curls to turn dark and straight but every morning they bounced back into place, redder than ever.Continue reading “Kenny Women by Fiona McGarvey”
As luck would have it this piece has been brought to the surface in the nick of time. Leila’s comments are very pertinent now as we await the outcome of events over the next few weeks. This is what she said:Continue reading “Literally Reruns – Direct Democracy by Tobias Haglund”
Three thousand days in and America is still counting.
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it feels that way.
You wouldn’t see that happening in Britain. Our powers that be are a lot more organised than that. Well maybe not so much organised, but for every day not being in power is expenses that they are missing out on and children that they aren’t molesting.Continue reading “Week 298 – Perfect Poaching, A Gorgeous Glare And A Respectful End.”
The old man with the thin black moustache and neatly pressed white shirt stood at the back of the line. The line of men, women and children crowded tightly on the side of Waterloo Road, stretching from the entrance of the rum shop past four houses. Often cars drove past, forcing everyone to squeeze right up to the edge of the small drain which ran alongside the road. The old man swayed slightly as he shifted his weight between his feet.Continue reading “The Elephant and the Milk by Sean Maraj”