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Week 580 – A Travesty, Miss Needs A Plumber And Why Not, ‘The Queen’?

Here we go once again folks.

Saturday Posting 580 is upon us.

I was interrupted typing this as ‘Zulu’ came on the TV. It made me wonder what were the films that I’ve watched the most times. (A nod to Leila with a list!)

Off the top of my head and ignoring, ‘Carry On’ films which would win hands down (Especially, ‘Follow That Camel’, ‘Cowboy’, ‘Cleo’ and ‘Up The Jungle’) I thought of-

Zulu

The Count Of Monte Cristo.

Jaws.

The Poseidon Adventure.

Young Frankenstein.

Once Upon A Time In America.

Who Dares Wins.

The Towering Inferno.

Con Air.

A Night To Remember.

Expendables.

Wedding Belles.

The Omen.

Love, Honour And Obey.

White Heat.

…And I need to mention, ‘The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare’ as I know that will become weel watched!!

I’d be very interested to read your well watched films. Unless, that is, any have Tom Hanks or weeee Tom Cruise in them!!

I want to start with this posting by mentioning this Artemis shite. Our world is in turmoil. We have people being displaced through no fault of their own. There’s famine, destruction, shortage of water, disease, depravation, energy shortage, increasing energy costs and so much death.

…And what do the powers that be think a good way to spend NINETY THREE BILLION DOLLARS on??

…They wisely don’t think that they should use that money on famine, destruction, shortage of water, disease, depravation, energy shortage, increasing energy costs and so much death, no, they think it’s a cracking idea to have a jolly around the moon!!

What really bugs me is this. Since the waste of money was a success, what difference has it made to the plight of the good folks effected by all that I’ve previously mentioned – Fucking nothing!!

If the waste of money blew up at lift off, what difference would it have made to the plight of the good folks effected by all that I’ve previously mentioned – Fucking none!!!

Mind you…At least those astronauts friends would have been spared from ‘When I was in space’ shite-talk every time the fuckers opened their mouths!!

There was never a truer thing said when it was stated that they looked down on our world!!!

This is the first time I’ve ever said this but I hope it was all an AI hoax and some wee lackey has pocketed the fucking money. At least one person would be having a good time on it!!

I had a look and according to what I could see, seemingly, rocket fuel doesn’t do that much damage to the ozone. (If you believe what we’re told) This has to be true!! A mere seven hundred thousand tonnes of rocket fuel can only enhance the planet!! Not like a skoosh of deodorant or a cow’s flatulence!

Another plus – I hope wee Greta had a sob!!! To me this is the first time that she’d have had a point!

This quote wasn’t for this complete arrogance of ignoring their fellow man, but I think it’s appropriate:

*‘Scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn’t stop to think if they should.’

All that money could have saved so many lives. Shame on all involved and all the fuckwits who cheered!!!

…The only thing that’s more expensive and more pointless is a war!

*Anyone know where the quote came from?

This song shouldn’t, but will always be ignored!

Talking about AI, we’ve had an issue here in Scotland with school weans. (Pronounced Wayne’s meaning children)

The wee delights have been using software and pictures of their teachers to make it seem that their teachers were doing things that only catholic priests can manage. They also threw in some acts of violence and other depravity. Certain teachers have had to take time off with stress. (Fucking wimps!) If we had that ability in our day, we wouldn’t have dared. Not through respect. Not through not wanting to but simply because we knew the teachers would have belted us into oblivion!!

That would be apart from Mr Heigh, he would have been more than happy to pose and come up with some artistic ideas!

Now onto this week’s stories.

We had two new folks who we welcome, a third timer and two well established writers of the site.

First up on Monday was the multi-talented Adam Kluger with ‘Swiper Alley’. This was story number fifty eight for him.

‘This is a reflection of the world we live in.’

‘I like Adam’s world view.’

‘His art enhances his stories.’

Stephen Silvester was next with his third story for us entitled, ‘Stonechat.’

‘This is clever.’

‘There are some witty lines to enjoy.’

‘This is as good an idea as I’ve seen for a while.’

On Wednesday, we had a legend who has now reached story number one hundred and one. ‘Mr Lucky’ was next up for Fred Foote.

‘I think the first after a hundred would be very difficult to do!!’

‘There is some devilment within.’

‘Fred is always a class act.’

Our first new writer was Mary Jo Thomas. Her story was called, ‘Winter Solstice.’

‘This has that little something that we are always on the look-out for.’

‘A really well thought out idea.’

‘It’s a wee bit different.’

And we finished off with our second new writer, Callie J. Smith. Its title was, ‘The Monk’s Knife’.

‘Weird and well written – What’s not to like?’

‘The mix of ordinary and extraordinary was well done.’

‘This easily won me over.’

That’s us for another week folks.

Keep doing what you are doing.

The comments were up five percent last month so all good!

Two things before some music.

Firstly – I need to give a nod to Rory McIlroy as he became only the fourth golfer to win back to back Masters wins. (Jack Nicklaus, Nick Faldo and Tiger Woods are the other three.)

And thank you Sky for your TV domination which stopped me watching it!!!

I’ve probably told you my favourite golfing saying many times before but since I haven’t pissed off the woke fuckers for a while, here it is again.

A short putt can be called a Rock Hudson…It looks straight but isn’t!

Secondly here is something that fucks up the idea that ‘they’ can be used as a pronoun.

A wee riddle to tease you.

Add one letter to two letters to change gender.

Add another letter to change it back.

Add another three to change it again.

Take away one and when taken, means you’ll not give a fuck who or what you are.

There’s no specific reason why I have chosen this piece of music, I think it was simply because I wanted something that’s more enhanced the louder that you play it!!

Turn up your speakers and enjoy!!

Hugh

Image: A space craft separating and a capsule heading for the moon. From Pixabay.com

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Week 574 – Satanic Third Month, I Never Mentioned S.O.B, And Impossible Travel Insurance.

Here we are at Week 574.

I can’t believe that the first week in March is already now over.

Idiot gardeners are outside tiding up. They’re wasting their time. March is a sneaky bastard of a month. You think the weather will get better but it doesn’t. Rest assured we will be in for gales and snow. Twice I spun my car off the road and both times it was in March.

Continue reading “Week 574 – Satanic Third Month, I Never Mentioned S.O.B, And Impossible Travel Insurance.”
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Week 538 – He Was Brilliant In ‘On Frozen Ground’, I Thank The Trooper Of The Plague And Ah Need Some Time. (Mibbee)

Well hello there China’s!! (See Rikki Fulton – I’ve mentioned him before)

Here we are at Week 538 – These posts are fair drawin’ in. As it is after the 21st of June, which was the Summer Solstice here, that means that the days are getting shorter which really has fuck all to do with the post!! I just like the phrase!!

Continue reading “Week 538 – He Was Brilliant In ‘On Frozen Ground’, I Thank The Trooper Of The Plague And Ah Need Some Time. (Mibbee)”
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Week 491 – Can Only Us Scottish Folks Say Bach? RIP Dad For The Second Year And Winifred Atwell Enhanced Him!!!

Here we are at Week 491.

Getting close to 500 – Don’t really know what that means but surely it means something!!

I had something happen to me this week that emphasised how old I’m getting. Okay apart from the usual aches and pains and hating the world for existing!

Continue reading “Week 491 – Can Only Us Scottish Folks Say Bach? RIP Dad For The Second Year And Winifred Atwell Enhanced Him!!!”
Short Fiction

Week 408: Ho, Ho, Hell No; Five Wise Writers; Additional Words of Wisdom and Tom Sheehan Eve

I am writing my humble contribution to this post on 24 November, Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. I chose this point because Thanksgiving had at one time been a beautiful holiday until Christmas got so fat and greedy that it had to take everything.

Like a giant star preparing for detonation, puffing up to a size that swallows the planets that orbit it, the green/red Christmas star has done the same thing to the calendar. Save for the area between late January and the end of summer (We now have “Christmas in July”), this putrid star has swallowed the months of the year and will continue to do so until ugsome Black Friday begins at midnight 26 December.

Hurry up with opening those gifts, kids, I want to get in line early.

Sometimes I get the idea that humankind is a suicidal race bent on attracting the wraths of gods it really doesn’t believe in yet continues to invent for profit, regardless of all the healing messages. Although I’m not religious, I root for the spat-on, and there are times when I wouldn’t mind seeing the looming shadow of Jesus Christ approach Jeff Besos from behind–a quick glance at the Son in a BOY AM I PISSED Tee-shirt making his mood clear.

So today I stand here on the burnt out cinder that had once been planet Thanksgiving and shake a turkey leg at the fools already forming lines at various retailers throughout this nation. Unless God dispatches a well aimed asteroid I will be standing here still as this Christmas Eve unfolds, the long since devoured turkey leg replaced by a Scotch and soda. Still, if you must, Merry Christmas to you—but please, for the love of decency, do not post any more goddam YouTube videos of gifting French Bulldog puppies under the tree. People who do so richly deserve the sudden uptick of puppy shit in their lives.

I am going to soon depart and turn this post over to fine persons who are perhaps better at expressing their contempt for French Bulldog gifting clips. But first I invite all to come by tomorrow morning to read six stories by Tom Sheehan, which will mark appearances 194-199 by the master, with the unheard of number 200 following on Boxing Day (Not Boxer Day, YouTubers).

And I leave you with a presentation of The Week That Is. The five stories this week weren’t all about plumping up the bottom line and were human endeavors created from the non-grasping, even wise place in the human heart.

This holiday week was brought to you by a group of five authors who have a combined total of six site appearances. It makes sense in a twisted sort of way that with Tom coming by the next two days this week should feature a second timer and four writers new to the site. Although we dearly love our repeat performers, new voices infuse the lifeblood.

Shawn Eichman’s second LS story appeared on Monday. Hunger. Merry Hellworld Christmas! Yes! This piece is harrowing, tense, speaks volumes of the pointlessness of war and yet has an ironic sense of humor that is difficult to extract, but it shines nonetheless, like silver flecks in paint. As it goes with me, I worried more about the Wolf than the people.

Andrew Yim debuted Tuesday with The Locust Seller. The luck of the draw is how this fine story came to be this week. It is obviously a fitting piece for the season, yet one I’m certain reflects life at the time much more accurately than a Bible story and would be just as appropriate if it had been published in August..

Mark Burrow performed what could be interpreted as a parody of what happened to Lot’s Wife on Wednesday, with Alabaster Conjugal. This is such a sinister thing mainly due to its being told in a perfectly sane voice. The normalcy of all other events heighten the inner weirdness. So well done.

Our third debut author, Domonique, made Thursday a fun place to visit with Karaoke Cowboy. This is an odd situation in which the title tells you what the piece is about but in no way prepares you for the inspired and wildly amusing tale that follows.

Orchids in the Sun by Dorothy Rice closed out the run of stories. With just a few hundred perfectly chosen words Dorothy is able to accurately describe the points of view of “Sadie” and her narrow-minded children, and you can sympathize with both. Although most likely not Mom of the Year timber, you find yourself glad that Sadie went away dreaming of possibilities to come.

Leila

***

Great stuff Leila. I hope that turkey leg was all that you could have hoped. I have to say that I look back fondly on Christmases past when my children were little and trifle was a thing.

It’s been another tricksy sort of a year for so many people that it seems somehow wrong to be forcing through this celebration of all things commercial. I did write a longer post bemoaning the greed and the misery and then I kicked myself in the behind (not easy at my stage of life – or ever actually) and deleted that and decided to simply say – wherever you are and whatever you are doing I hope that your day is peaceful, your people are well and the coming year will be kind to you.

Keep sending us your stories, keep on reading the wonderful prose we are able to publish and may you have all that you need and most of what you want.

Merry end of the year celebration with lights and stuff.

dd

Brilliant ladies!

I was also going to be all doom and gloom but decided against it. I will add one observation following on from Leila’s mentioning of Black Friday.

I noticed one stores dismal display for this so-called ‘Event’. Their wares included a few candles, toasters, shredders and kettles. I thought on this and came to a conclusion – Folks have realised that this is all a huge fucking con. BUT, the retailers have realised that the customers have realised that it is a huge fucking con!! Hopefully in a year or so all this nonsense will die off with whatever greedy bastard thought it up in the first place.

No matter what has happened in my life, I have always started Christmas off in the same way – Half a pint of Advocaat and a bacon sandwich. That makes the rest of the day more sufferable.

To all our readers, writers and those who comment or get involved in any way, have a wonderful time and I hope that you and your families are all happy and healthy. I will now steal a line from the legend that was Dave Allen…May your god go with you.

…And that includes the gods of scepticism, lethargy, pessimism, realism, cynicism and addiction!!!

To Diane, Leila and Nik – Thanks so much for this year, I wouldn’t have got through it without you all. I’ll be on The Absinthe on Christmas night and the first half bottle will be toasted to you all. The second half will have me toasting oblivion!!!!

Hugh

The art work is from Angela at Studio Anjou who has quite a number of pieces scattered about the place.

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Week 271 – Three Keys Of Hell, Considering Esther Doing The Nasty And Nice But Dim’s Reading Material

It’s difficult to get inspiration at this time.

Well I suppose it’s not but what is overkill should never inspire and be avoided at all costs.

Continue reading “Week 271 – Three Keys Of Hell, Considering Esther Doing The Nasty And Nice But Dim’s Reading Material”

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Week 259 – Hobbies, Crusty Wounds And Miss Anderson’s Wasted Wednesdays.

Here we are at week 259. This is seemingly a momentous and historic week for Britain as we’re now out of The European Union.

I thought this would be a good topic for today’s posting. I could explore cause, economics, identities, the effect for future story writers and much more. But here’s the thing. I don’t give a cats cock!

I had a look to see if there was anything interesting that happened 259 years ago.

Continue reading “Week 259 – Hobbies, Crusty Wounds And Miss Anderson’s Wasted Wednesdays.”

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Week 258 – Sammy Being Low, Unintentional Confessions And Extradition For Privileged Bastards.

Before we start one mention about horror writing – we don’t need horror fiction when we watch the Auschwitz Liberation Anniversary.

We send our deepest respects.

I just found out this week that my favourite Queen song (Spread Your Wings) was written by John Deacon. I’ve no problem with that, I simply hadn’t noticed and had assumed that the legend that was Freddie Mercury had written it. In a past life I used to write a lot of poetry and whilst doing some research, I found out that Freddie had recorded under the name Larry Lurex. His brilliant extravagance was evident very early on!!

Continue reading “Week 258 – Sammy Being Low, Unintentional Confessions And Extradition For Privileged Bastards.”

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Week 250 – Reflection, Rumination and Making Glue From Horses

According to numerology the energy represented by the number 250 resonates with intuition and introspection.

I was not aware of this.

It also resonates with human relationships and recognizes that relationships are the glue that hold things together.

Continue reading “Week 250 – Reflection, Rumination and Making Glue From Horses”