Week 191 – Silence, Love Tips And A Request To Any Somalian Pirates.

Well here we are at Week 191.

I was thinking on what to write yesterday morning and this came to me.

You see, I travel to work by bus. I like buses but I hate passengers. Why can’t folks simply be quiet. I don’t want to hear someone on their phone talking a lot of pish. I don’t want to hear old people talking about their many, many varied, oozing ailments and I especially don’t want to listen to young mothers talking complete nonsense to their noisy little shit-machines. I had one woman hushing her screaming kid for around three miles. The kid had shut up after two but this Sean Connery snake woman continued to ‘Shhhh’.

That’s all annoying enough but the other day a woman give her kid a tablet. God I wished it had been a sleeping one but it wasn’t. The kid and the whole bus was subjected to some song about pirates. And not the interesting Somalian ones that kidnap and murder, no these were jolly ones who kept screaming ‘Ahoy!’

There is noise everywhere and I blame people not reading. This is a beautiful insular, silent discipline. It should be a requirement on public transport. They put ‘The Metro’ newspaper on our buses, so if you say anything you should then have to pick up the paper and read an article. There would be a test before you got off the bus and if you failed, you should be flogged. Oh and I don’t give a fuck what age you are! If this was done for a week or so I’m more than sure that everyone would shut the fuck up!

When I thought on it, I wonder if the demise of reading is due to a need for more sensory stimulation. Gaming instigated that. Noise and immediate outcome has replaced quiet and patience.

I also wonder if texting is becoming a problem as actual words are now foreign to the mutants who only ‘Do text speak’. All I want to see on their posting is RIP, smiley face. (What would RIP be in text speak???)

Never-ending reality TV and box sets being watched in bedrooms also stop people from reading. I have heard on more than one occasion that people say that they don’t have time to read. But they have time to watch 300 hours of ‘Game Of Bad Suits’.

I find it very sad. Years back when you tried to impress a young lady, you had to do three things.

1. Ply her with ½ pints of Cider and Cointreau in a pub.

2. Agree with her taste in music.

3. Mention a book that you had read.

One book was a must but if you had a few then you were considered a catch.

If this happened it could lead to sex. (Cider and Cointreau was the eighties version of Rohypnol.)

Now-A-Days those three things would be:

1. Ply her with links to kitten videos and Reality TV of the Kardashians drinking.

2. Agree with her taste in music.

3. Mention a box set that you could watch together. (This will only happen if you are both truthful when you text / tweet / Facebook each other and finally meet.)

This could lead to sex. Especially if one of you were not truthful when you texted / tweeted or Facebooked.

NB – You will notice that number 2 is the same. The only difference is in the first instance it would be a lie!

OK onto this weeks stories.

We had one new writer, an author out for the third time and three who have an amazing 155 stories between them.

The topics included connections, a eulogy, shortfalls, a bar and a new mum.

As always our initial comments follow.

First up was our newbie. We welcome Michael Ellman and were delighted to publish, ‘Giving Thanks‘ on Monday. We hope to receive more from him very soon.

‘Great writing. The final line made me smile.’

‘Well written and a bit of fun.’

‘This didn’t pretend to be anything it wasn’t’

On Tuesday we had another story from our most published author.

Tom Sheehan was next up with his 64th story, ‘Mystery Gable Of Nobby’s Nook.’

‘Great tone and voice and good scene setting.’

‘A very vivid piece of writing.’

‘For some reason, the names made me smile.’

Fernando Meisenhalter was next up with his 3rd story.

Tommy Lee Jones Rounds Up Mexican Immigrants Using Excellent Spanish‘ broke the back of the week.

‘This was a surreal look at where his place was.’

‘This had a lovely freedom and acceptance to it.’

‘You sympathised with the guy’s positive outlook even though he was from nowhere and had no-one.’

The next two authors are getting close to the big ‘Five O’

Leila Allison had her 43rd story, ‘The Absolution’ published on Thursday.

‘The MC and other characters are well drawn and interesting.’

‘The ending shows that even youngsters have compassion and a sweetness.’

‘Even the ‘nasty’ things were said with a sense of realism and affection.’

And we finished off on Friday with Fred Foote and his 48th story, ‘Superheroes In The Real World.’

Two to go Fred!!!!

‘Kids, family, Marvel and social commentary are things that should always be put together.’

‘The scene setting was lovely.’

‘In our mad PC / Health & Safety world, the ironies are explored.’

That’s us for another week guys.

I have another five days travelling on a bus

Oh a bottle of rum to fill my tum…

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hope that we get boarded by some serious Somalian Pirates who are looking for either me alone or everyone apart from me.

Hugh

Banner Image:  some nice friendly pirates for Hugh – courtesy of pixabay.com

3 thoughts on “Week 191 – Silence, Love Tips And A Request To Any Somalian Pirates.

  1. Before this I thought I was the cream of crop of curmudgeons, but I see that I have been superseded.

    Some curmudgeon tips –
    Do not read anything in which “x” is added to a real word, “they” is singular.
    Skip anything with “yass”, “end of the day”, “radar (unless it is real), “woke”, “lit”, “issue” (for problem), “impact” (outside of something physical), “metric” (for measure), “reality/youtube star”.
    Get off my yard you dang hippy, consarn it.

    Like

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