Week 189 – A Warning, Back-Ups And No Apologies. (Do not read if you are liable to be offended.)- and he’s not kidding!!

Here we are at week 189, doesn’t time fly when you are having your last hour in your bed? Any other time it is just its usual slow mundane shite.

Now this has been done in a bit of a rush, but no matter what, I really need to warn you not to read on if you are a wee bit sensitive. I’ve got myself into enough trouble lately with my words so I thought I would give you all plenty of time to bail out.

If you like religion and cherish pregnancy, you may be a bit perturbed with a couple of parts, so walk away now.

If you don’t then don’t moan as you will just look like a twat.

This is a back-up / alternative post just in case what we were planing hasn’t materialised.

You should always have a back up plan. I’ve even got one for death as I reckon that I am that unlucky I will suffer this shit for ever. Don’t worry, it only involves me waiting for everyone who has annoyed me to die.

…Oh and for me to promote a helluva lot of contraception. I suppose I could try and become Pope.

…But using kids as condoms doesn’t appeal to me. And it does go against the idea from the Catholic Church that contraception is wrong.

And like the Catholic Church, my apology for stating that is half-arsed!

We back up our computer files as that then gives all those hackers and techno-thieves two chances to steal our identity.

My identity was stolen once. It was returned with a years supply of Prozac and a suicide note. I don’t know if that was a ‘Goodbye’ from the guilty or a suggestion for me.

Any young man should have a back-up condom for those unexpected receptive young ladies. It can happen if the said young men don’t talk to the ladies. Yep, I’m talking about all those weird dating websites or those who pick partners by profile. But I would suggest that they always check the sell-by date on their Ebay bought condoms. The last thing we need is more Social Media Mutants and Whores.

I used to carry an ‘Emergency Tenner’ but by a Tuesday that was normally just a ‘Tenner’.

I suppose a back-up person to scratch an itch, the youngsters now-a-days would refer to them as friends with benefits. Back in the day, we had the male or female equivalent of ‘Blackpool.’ If you needed a bit of intimacy, they were your last resort.

Young ladies who wake up with more than they went to bed with have a wee pill back-up. In our day all we could do was buy our daughters a litre of Gin and some step ladders. Those times were harsh but at least ‘Vicky Wines’ and ‘B&Q’ were flourishing.

I think that’s why most folks have two kids. One is a back up. If one gets broken you can use the other for parts. Or if it turns out really ugly, you could just leave it somewhere. The money you save, you could get the other one done up.

I wish I had an alternative story for any new ones. You know the sort of thing – ‘If this is pish at least I have that.’

But two pish stories are more depressing than one.

We never need anything to fall back on when it comes to our stories. (Yep shite link number 120!!)

So onto this weeks offerings.

We had one new writer, one long term returner and three of our bread and butter writers to the site.

Our topics include; a rodent problem, abuse, a long term relationship, an eternity and mariticide.

As always our initial comments follow.

 

We began on Monday as we normally do.

L’Erin Ogle was first up with ‘World In My Eyes‘. L’Erin has now managed to get her tally into double figures.

‘A brilliant piece of writing.’

‘This was a story of absolute torture and mental disturbance.’

‘Gripping!!’

 

It has been a wee while since we published Jon Beight, but he has now returned with ‘What Gloria Said.’

He was next up on Tuesday.

Hopefully we won’t have to wait long for more submissions from him.

‘I wonder if the comparison caused the realisation of her husband’s shortcomings.’

‘Not exactly a romance.’

‘Ah the sad decline of a love that once was.’

 

Our new writer broke the back of the week.

We welcome David Juraszek and hope that he has a long association with us.

Last Words‘ was published on Wednesday.

‘This was character led and it unrolled the truth slowly.’

‘I like the mystery of why he had been gifted and who the man was.’

‘Not all is explained and your acceptance makes you think.’

 

We need no introduction to our writer on Thursday.

The enigmatic and individualistic Mr Adam Kluger was next up with ‘And There was That.

‘Ratsputin was a bit part and every piece of this was about Jesper.’

‘Jesper is a sad individual leading a sad and empty life. He should have befriended Ratsputin.’

‘Once again Adam has given us something within something else.’

 

And we finished off the week with another gentleman and friend of the site.

Fred Vogel’s ‘Happy Endings‘ was published on Friday.

‘A clever little twist that I didn’t see coming.’

‘I thought the reverse of the title as an end line was brilliantly used.’

‘I enjoyed the darkness in this, it totally sucked you in.’

 

That’s us for another week folks.

Another week gone and one to follow.

I don’t know if a second bottle of whisky is a back up if you have drunk the first.

I think that it is more of a pleasant extension.

 

Till next week.

 

Hugh

PS: For one week only, (Well ’til the next time) we will be Posting tomorrow. It isn’t a story and all will be explained. Hope you all have a look and maybe even a wee bit of participation!

 

Banner Image: One and a backup – Pixabay.com – so, Hugh is back in full flight but you were warned. Ah it does you good to see him back to his old self.

 

6 thoughts on “Week 189 – A Warning, Back-Ups And No Apologies. (Do not read if you are liable to be offended.)- and he’s not kidding!!

  1. Too many people. Too much fornication. Yet only two fists. If time travel were possible, I’d edit the be fruitful and multiply part. I’d write Stoppeth Humpething Whenest Thoust Notice All the Stupideth Mothereth Fuckerethers. Also, I make history’s first meateth beatereth, Onan, a hero .

    Like

    • Hi David,
      Offence is only for those who are twats!!
      As soon as I realise a film is a Rom-Com I switch off. There is no way I could watch it all the way through…I would probably have killed myself by then!!

      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

      Like

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