Before I begin, I would like to welcome Nik back from his holiday. He was in Wales doing all things Welsh. As is my understanding he would be eating really, really, roasting, hot loaves, taming a roaming dragon, drinking Merlyn, seeking out a Max Boyce CD and trying to win a chair. They are a mystical race the Welsh.
It is great to have you back my friend!!
Continue reading “Week 133 – Principle, Discipline And Lactic Acid”
I read this week that the average Britain would eat ½ tonne of breakfast cereal in their lifetime. You may think that’s excessive but when you realise what a drug problem we have and how your average chemically dependant person can only really digest cereal, it all begins to make sense. But to be fair, with what they spend on cereal, they save on toilet paper as smack bungs them up. If you can overlook the blood-spray on the walls, you normally find that an addicts toilet is surprisingly clean!
We once were a hardy nation who started the day with porridge, we now have a heroin nation who starts the day with Coco-Pops.
Continue reading “Week 132 – Coco-Pops, Stationers And Challenges”
Hi folks, here we are at Week 131.
In the words of the legend that is Ed O’Neill as ‘Al Bundy’, ‘I just wish the world would curl up and die!!’
I have had a shit few days! My pride took a dent this week and that got me thinking.
Many Scottish people really do only have pride in being proud and it serves no purpose except to be very destructive when something chips away at it.
What I don’t understand is why I worry about pride when as a writer, my pride gets decimated with every refusal. I suppose when I think on it, it’s different. Once you have went through the first few rejections you need to realise that this is part of it, it is a process and nothing else.
Continue reading “Week 131 – Pride, Cathedrals And 100 % Proof Gin.”
Week 130 – Who would have thought it? Probably most of us after Week 129!
I have to apologise for the title but its Diane’s fault!
I’d never considered that she thought that I was being mischievous with my titles until she mentioned this in last weeks post with my colourful penis inclusion.
Diane has been brilliantly literal with the images for all my postings. We, at Literally Stories and the authors consider her a total legend in doing so. So I wait with my breath baited to see what she has come up with!!! (I normally write this first, Diane edits and then inserts the image.)
This amalgamation of naughtiness has also given me my topic for this week and that is curiosity!
Continue reading “Week 130 – Feltching, Chunnelling And Klismaphilia”
I have to thank Nik for his exemplary job in standing in for me last week. He was witty, intelligent and articulate. I hate him! I bet he doesn’t even hold grudges!!
Now folks, I want to explain something, we don’t have any hierarchy at Literally Stories, we all have our roles which to be truthful, we have just sort of fallen into.
Continue reading “Week 129 – Territory, Boundaries And A Bruised Penis.”
The literary legend we know simply as Hugh Cron is taking a well-deserved break from proceedings this week and has entrusted me, his faithful Welsh sidekick, to come up with a few choice words to sum up the week that was at LS Towers*
* not an actual tower – more of a chateau really.
I can neither confirm nor deny if Hugh is adding something extra to his Irn-Bru over the course of the weekend but I can at least confirm that from a roundup perspective what I lack in wit I more than make up for in lack of wit.
Continue reading “Week 128 – Fathers, Flagsticks and Strictly Perseverance”
Before I begin this weeks round-up we have a couple of comments that we wish to make.
Our thoughts go out to our wonderful friend and fellow editor Tobias who sadly lost his father recently.
We all send Tobias our love and condolences.
And unfortunately, we yet again have to say that our prayers are with all those innocents who were caught up in the despicable events in London.
Continue reading “Week 127 – Insignificance, Velvet Jackets And John Lennon.”
Well folks, here we are at week 126.
This number is pish and is no inspiration what-so-ever. Even saying that number bores, unless you have that weird wee whistle when you pronounce the letter ‘s’.
So I had to look elsewhere for inspiration.
Continue reading “Week 126 – Penny Dreadful, Bambi And Vera McBastard.”
I’ve began far too many of these posts with this type of comment:
All of us at Literally Stories send our thoughts to those affected by the atrocity in Manchester.
Our football season is coming to an end and that is normally a sign of summer finally turning up. Only in our country does it make sense to play sport in the rain and snow.
Anyhow back to the summer, we don’t handle those three days in June very well. As soon as it’s bright we put on our Speedos and head to the beach. The men don’t dress much better.
Unfortunately a bright day doesn’t necessarily constitute heat here in Scotland but our NHS services are wonderful and on that bright day they are well geared up with survival blankets and hot soup.
Continue reading “Week 125 – Speedos, Trifles And Rooting Rhubarb.”
Well here we are at Week 124, which followed our highly successful Week 123!
My inspiration for this post actually came from one of my fellow authors. No we were not having a heated debate about anything Literally related. Tobias mentioned growing up this week and that got me thinking whether or not I considered myself as a grown up.
My advancing years suggest that I am. My childish humour, pettiness and hating most things begs to differ.
Continue reading “Week 124 – Maturity, Lubricant And Adult Babies”
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