Week 135 – England, Monsters And Ronnie Shagging Thatcher.

It won’t be long until I’m taking the road to the long dark tunnel to nothingness. The eternal journal with uncertainty and purgatory beckons.

…I’m going to England for a Wedding at the weekend. Oh, the darkness is nothing to do with our rivalry / harmless teasing / hatred of England…It has all to do with marriage!!

Some of my favourite people are English (Diane, Adam, and the legend that is Ian Pepall are all English). My first gaffer who I respected and miss was English. And one of my favourite dogs, Fraser, was an English Setter. I really only have two problems with the country. The first is Westminster (I should have also mentioned Guy Fawkes as a favourite!) and the second is the Illuminati that stays in the big hoose in ‘That London’! I hate the whole notion of royalty. I mean, Jesus Fuck, in this day and age, we in Britain are still expected to tip our hat, bow, curtsey and feel inferior to privilege! Backwards thinking or what???.

Sorry folks, I was off on a tangent!

Maybe I should have done this post next week. But I thought of it this week and not next week so when next week becomes this week I will think about another posting as I have already used this one.

I have a story coming up next week which is my fiftieth. I am honoured to have this number of stories published on the site. Especially with the wonderful writers I share the site with. And even more so in getting past my fellow editors. They have bombed me out many, many, many times. Some of their decisions I have agreed with, some I haven’t. But no matter what, I respect their decisions and they have all made me a better writer for their critiques, help and encouragement.

I was thinking what else I could do fifty times. I tried fifty push ups but all I managed was three groans and a prolapse. Your puddins falling out your lowest sphincter isn’t much fun.

I have done fifty days without alcohol but to be fair that was just after my thirteenth birthday.

I would say that I have refused to read ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ fifty times but that would only be true if the number fifty was infinite.

One thing that I wish I had written in amongst those stories would be a nasty beastie story. I have been thinking for many a year of a new, never to have been done before monster. But zilch! I write about monsters all the time but that is normally the human variety. I wish I had thought of a vampire, Freddy, Pinhead or Margaret Thatcher shagging Ronnie Raygun, but they’d all been done before, in more ways than one!

I really don’t think I’ve much of an imagination and I can only write what I see that inspires me. That’s why I am in awe of some of our writers. Matthew Lyons, Ashlie Allen, Fred Foote, Leila Allison and our own Diane Dickson to name but a few have wonderful imaginations and their invention is something that I can’t do.

I will continue to strive for the monster and I wonder if all writers have a ‘wish’ story?

I suppose most of us wish we had written ‘Harry Potter’ but then success and millions in the bank is so over-rated when you have to write children’s fecking books! (To be fair, it isn’t my thing but J.K Rowling has done something that not many authors have, she has got kids reading again. Of course Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl etc did this years back but I do think there needs to be a special mention for J.K. In the days of Blyton and Dahl, books were the equivalent of computer games and Netflix! The ‘Harry Potter’ series has put up a superb fight against those distractions! So no matter what, I tip my hat to her!!

OK from dream stories to our real ones of the week.

We had one new author, three old friends and me again. The topics this week included sounds, pushcarts, a serial killer, relationships and a revealing accident.

As always our initial comments follow.


Dave Loudin has been tragically missing for too long. (Check out ‘Jean Claude…’ folks, it is one of my favourites on the site.)  ‘Chicagogh’ was our first story of the week.

‘This is a lot more restrained than some of Dave’s work but there are some superb descriptions.’

‘There is a really great atmosphere within this.’

‘Understated when peppered with a few vivid images and phrases compliments the story and lifts it.’


On Tuesday the quirky and talented Adam Kluger had his story ‘A Quiet Place‘ published.

‘The End was an acceptable contradiction.’

‘I enjoyed this. The flow was good.’

‘Another slice of life from Adam that said more than it gave.’


We had our only new author of the week on Wednesday. We welcome Robert Friedman, hope he has fun on the site and continues to send us more work. ‘It Had To Be Done‘ broke the back of the week.

‘In my humble opinion, this is one of the best funny stories that we have been sent.’

‘Well written and the wry humour left me smiling.’

‘The atmosphere and setting in time was good.’


Thursday was next as is its wont. Larry Lefkowitz is becoming a regular contributor. He was next up with ‘Idee Fixee‘.

‘An interesting and breathless read.’

‘Clever writing and a lovely idea.’

‘There are some absolute gems in this piece.’


And the end of the week was completed by me with ‘Leo Sayer and Librium. Not only do I want to write about a terrifying monster I really need to try and do ‘happy’. But that is about as elusive as my fecking monster!!!

As always I thank my fellow editors for their help and encouragement!


That’s us for another week folks.

I am going to bed to try and dream of my allusive horror. If this doesn’t happen I may just do an illustrated magazine of Maggie and Ronnie doing the Karma Sutra…That would give anyone nightmares!!!



4 thoughts on “Week 135 – England, Monsters And Ronnie Shagging Thatcher.

  1. I find it very fine that you are able to write, publish, recap, go to a wedding and imagine M. Thatcher doing the beast with two backs and not go mad. Long ago, you may have wound up as a “guest” at Bedlam or Botany Bay for expressing such thoughts. And my substantial ego thanks you for the compliment. Although I disagree with your view on the state of your imagination. Seems a good one to me.


    • Thanks Irene.
      I sometimes think a padded cell would have its merits. I could run into the walls until I felt better.
      Your kind words are much appreciated.
      Look after yourself and the fur hats.


  2. Coming up with new monsters is difficult. Mine have held a slight resemblance to Freddy Kruger, but a couple instead of a single guy. Another was a mild mannered park volunteer modeled on myself. An evil house was used. Can’t do much new with vampires, werewolves etc.


    • Hi Doug!
      I think every day on my new monster and still nothing.
      I’ll probably come up with one just before my demons catch up with me!!
      Thanks as always for your continual input.
      All the very best my friend.


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