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Week 108 – Pride, Pot Noodles And Jellyfish

I’ve decided this week to write about pride.

Not ‘In the Name of Love’ even though that is a cracking song. Not as in the film about the Gay Pride / Miner Strike match up even though that was a cracking film. And not as in loads of big pussies, even though they are braw beasties!

Pride commeth before a fall. That’s a phrase about a disappointed lady called ‘A Fall’ and the problems she had with her husband Pride.

Yep more nonsense before I get to a point.

I’m a very proud person but in a shit sort of way. Not asking for help, cutting my nose off to spite my face and stubbornness are the realistic terms for my pride!

For example I’ll never ask for assistance when I need it, I would rather say ‘This is pish’ and give up. Writing is a bit different as I have other folks to state that…So, so many!!

To explain my stupidity I would like to share this. I had the best time of my life in 2000 when we were in Toronto, I tip my hat to Canada, I loved the place. We tried so many different things. The Swiss restaurant was excellent. I thought it would have been three courses of Toblerone, nougat and almonds but I had a lovely fruity and mildly spiced chicken type dish.

One night we ended up in a traditional Chinese Restaurant. I am a rather adventurous person when it comes to food so when I saw ‘chilled chicken wings with shredded jellyfish’ I wanted to give it a go. I probably should have twigged when the waiter asked me:

“You handle this?”

My pride (stupidity) kicked in!

“Of course I can handle this! I’ve ate Pot Noodles and Crispy Pancakes which just goes to prove that God doesn’t think we should bother with anything tasty…I’m fine…Go for it auld stockin’!”

So the waiter brought my food and he was sniggering…I should’ve sussed.

So I began to eat. I turned green. Ironically this was the same colour as the jellyfish. I’m not sure if it was supposed to be that colour but it didn’t matter whether it was fresh or on the turn…It couldn’t have tasted any worse. But did I leave it? Nope, although at one point, I did think I would spew. I chewed and swallowed, heaved and retched but I finished it.

When the waiter returned I saw his face fall. I puffed out my chest and my greenness changed to a more acceptable yellow.

He asked,

“Did you enjoy?”

“Well I could have done with a little more jellyfish.”

“You want more?”

“Sorry auld champion but your establishment had its chance to impress…Just bring us a bog standard Chow Mein and we’ll say no more about it!”

The point to this is Pride!! And swallowing it!

The reason that I am mentioning this is due to feedback we gave to a writer. They took it, didn’t go in the cream puff and decided whether or not our comments helped. That is the thing, don’t spit out the dummy if anyone says that something is wrong. Look at it and THINK!

I’ve mentioned before when I have a story in mind, it’s so strong in my head, I can’t understand how anyone doesn’t get it. (My story this week was an example of this. )

But when it is pointed out, don’t be like me and eat the fecking jellyfish, consider changing it to something more palatable.

I am shit at metaphors but hope you all get the point!

OK on to this weeks stories!

As always our initial comments follow.

We had two new folks this week, (I’ll need to ask our resident statistician exactly how many authors we have.) one third timer, an old campaigner and me.

Our first new person began the week. We extend the usual welcome and plea for more stories!

Ellen Kibbe had her wonderfully titled short ‘A Cosmopolitan Epiphany Regarding a Certain Cecil ‘ published on Monday.

‘What a weird wee piece, I liked it.’

‘I enjoyed the ride and found the ending quite sad.’

‘This had a charm to it.’

An old hand graced Tuesday. The talented and quirky Mr Adam Kluger had his story, ‘High And Low‘ next up.

‘A longer story than Adam normally sends us but he skilfully kept the pace and the points relevant.’

‘Strange but quite compelling.’

‘Some great lines and interesting characters.’

We had a third time published author on Wednesday. Julie Howard was our key-stone of the week with ‘Hunger

‘The flow was good and the prose most enjoyable.’

‘Concise and well put together.’

‘A good self-help / self discovery type story.’

Tabitha Sterling was our last new author of the week. The same welcome applies to Tabitha, we hope both these writers have a lot of fun with the site. On Thursday her short story ‘Plague Song‘ was showcased.

‘The back story fuelled the understandable bitterness between them.’

‘Excellent writing with an interesting choice of main characters.’

‘You are left with a tiny doubt at the end about whether or not the murder was due to the ‘illness’ or their strengthening resentment.’

And on Friday, well I put together my usual happy little tale. ‘In Five Years Time‘.

This was first shown to the other editors the middle of last year and it had been refused due to the ending. It took me around eight months to work through the issues that they had raised. I thank them all as always for making me a better writer and not being so focused in what I know compared to what I have written!

So week 108 is done and dusted.

I am going to access some jellyfish and completely ignore it.

…Pot Noodles and Crispy Pancakes, they are a different matter!

Hugh

Banner Image: jellyfish Salad – By Bình Giang (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

All Stories, Crime/Mystery/Thriller, General Fiction

In Five Years Time by Hugh Cron – Warning: Very Strong Adult Content.

Steven opened the door to the two men.

“We spoke on the phone Mr Clark. I’m Eddie Freeman and this is my photographer Charlie.”

“Come in. Sit down.”

Eddie pointed over to the ashtray.

“Do you mind?”

Steven shook his head.

“I’ve been chain smoking since all this came out…Bastard! He started me smoking again.”

“I will ask you once again Mr Clark…”

“Steven, call me Steven.”

“…Okay Steven, are you sure that you want to do this?”

Read more…

“I have to. We’ll be fucked if we don’t because of that sick little bastard.”

“What about your wife, lawyers, police?”

“As the case is by, I can speak to you. They’ve all advised against it. But we have to. It is the only way that we’ll get any peace. Linda will not participate. I would ask though, can I see the draft before it goes out?”

“…Sorry but it’s out of my hands when I pass it on to the editor.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t be censoring. I will tell you everything and answer anything that you ask. I just want to see how it reads.”

“I can’t promise but we’ll see.”

The door opened and Linda brought in coffee.

“Are you sure Mrs Clark that you don’t want to say anything?”

Her eyes filled up, she shook her head and hurried away.

“She can’t handle it. But she agrees with me doing this.”

“Right Steven, I’ll switch on the recorder. I’ll ask you to tell me your story in your own words and if I have any questions or anything I need clarified I’ll ask as we go along. But I’ll try not to interrupt too much as you speak. If you need a break just hold up your hand and we will switch it off. Okay?”

Steven nodded.

“In your own time.”

“…We thought he was a good boy. There were no…Signs? Nothing! He was a normal kid and a moody teenager, so we thought that was normal too. But…Fuck! It all began when we took Sandra in, that was Linda’s mum. She was diagnosed with dementia at sixty. By sixty five, she was in her own world. I mean, you could still have a conversation with her but hell knows where that would take you…Is it okay if I add in what we know now, from what the police have found out?”

Eddie nodded, “Is this from before or after Ian’s conviction?”

Steven shuddered at the mention of his son’s name.

“Both, what they know and what they have found out since.”

“Sure, please go on.”

“I haven’t spoken to him. Not since we were told that there was no doubt.”

Eddie held up his hand, “Try and put it in as much of the order that it happened as you can.”

Steven nodded and took a drink of his coffee. He stubbed out the cigarette and lit another.

“Everything seemed fine. He had always been fond of his gran. Fuck! That’s an understatement! He helped us, he sat with her when we were at work. We had carers coming in to help out and give us a break but he was happy to take his turn. No fucking wonder! It must’ve started from there. How it started and any details, I don’t fucking want to know! The police have got recordings and the duvet can be seen. That was Sandra’s own duvet, we brought it from her house. They took it away and well, there were signs that he had been there. We never saw anything, they had to test it. That fucker was also cleaning up his own mess while we were out.”

Steven laughed and wiped a tear.

“I didn’t even think he could do laundry. No wanking into a sock for our boy! Oh no, he had his gran and the use of a washing machine!”

Eddie switched off the recorder.

“Give yourself a moment. Trust me, the sympathies will be with you.”

“Do you think? We’ve had a few phone-calls and paint thrown over my car already. This is why we need to do this. We need to distance ourselves from that freak.”

He nodded and Eddie switched it back on.

“I know this is difficult Steven but you will need to tell us exactly what he was doing.”

“…The thing that was my son was having sex with his gran and putting it on the internet. The old lady didn’t know what she was doing.”

“Surely there was no issue with it being consensual?”

“Well that is where his lawyer was a total star. That was why it was so difficult on all of us. They tried to say that it was consensual and she should have had to answer to an incest charge as he was fifteen at the time.”

Steven shook his head and began to sob.

“Go on Steven, this is important.”

“…Consensual, that’s a fucking joke! The poor old soul didn’t know what planet she was on. She was living her life of thirty years back when she did have sex, I don’t know, she maybe recognised Robert in him. Sorry, Robert was her husband, his grandfather and he was using that fucking memory to get a blow-job off his gran!”

“Jesus!”

“Oh it gets worse. You think of the most intimate things that you can do with your wife or partner…And yep!! That’s my boy!!”

“We’ll come back to the court case but first tell us how he got caught.”

Steven sighed, “I am not clued up on how the internet works but basically he was posting these images on…’The Dark Web’…There’s a fucking thing I now know of!! Then the entrepreneurial side of him kicked in and he decided to go live as it were. But that wasn’t what got him. The police caught him, either whilst he was trying to set-up a payment system or actually when he had, as I say, I don’t know how it works. I heard it all in court. Oh…if you need any permission to access the transcripts or proceedings or whatever they are called, I’ll do that for you if I can. All I know is he was unlucky…There’s a fucking laugh!! Unlucky!! You see, The Police have a few officers who work on sting operations to catch all types of illegal pornography and he just happened to get on their radar. The little cunt thinks he is so clever but he wasn’t clever enough to go unnoticed.”

“Tell us about the arrests.”

“That was the worse day of our lives. There was a chap at the door at around six am. Weirdly it was all very calm. Isn’t it strange what you notice. I saw the patient transport outside and that was what confused. I actually thought they had came to the wrong house, I stared at the warrant as Linda screamed. Social Services bundled her mother into the patient transport. That confused me even more. I began to wonder if one of the carers were in trouble. Then their ‘Charges’ began to sink in.”

Steven leaned back, “Do you know the one thing that I was grateful for and that was at least she was out of it. There was enough history and records that there was no-way anyone believed that she was participating voluntary, that was for the lawyer bastards to come up with later on!”

“I read that Ian wasn’t arrested immediately?”

“Well, yes but no. Another car turned up and it was more Social Services, they wanted to take Ian away. Fuck knows how that had come about! There was one CID Officer who simply shook his head and said, that he was going with them. They cuffed him and he was taken away in a different car from me and Linda.”

“How did The Police treat you?”

Steven smiled, “Actually not too bad. But I know why, well now I do. They’d already been investigating us and they knew about our work, the carers and they had that bastard’s time lines on the internet. When they checked, we were always at work, nothing tied into any time that we were there. One of the officers told me later on that they had suspected from day one that it was all about him.”

“Ian also stated that you and Linda knew nothing, didn’t he?”

“Oh yes!! We should be so grateful!!!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound as if you owed him anything, please continue about your time with The Police.”

“They called it right. We knew fuck all and basically, we were there as witnesses for the P.F. And do you know what, looking back, it was the best twelve or so hours that I have spent as he was finally held accountable for what he did.”

“And Linda?”

He lit another cigarette and swapped it for the one in his mouth.

“…What do you think? She was in pieces, sedated, now on medication for depression. She will never get over it, never! Please don’t ask me for any other specifics, can we just leave it at that?”

Eddie nodded, “Of course.”

“Thanks. I worry about her enough.”

“I don’t want to spend too much time on this as it has been well documented, but what are your thoughts on the case?”

“Lawyers are cunts! That bastard gave himself up to the cops. He admitted that it was all about him and then the lawyers started whispering in his ear and that was where the consent question arose and if that was the way they went, then it could’ve been Sandra who had to answer. It was all bullshit, but the fuckers were for playing that hand. I suppose there is a God as Sandra died before all that shite could be played out. There would’ve had to be an independent competency hearing and fuck knows what else.”

“That never came out so how do you know?”

Steven laughed, “I doubt if any law firm would sue me after what has happened, but you are the media and they might go after you! So I’ll tell you and you can do with as you wish.”

Eddie leaned forward and switched off the recorder.

“I may ask you to repeat this.”

Steven nodded.

“I am reading between the lines from what I heard…Oh and I am not telling you the source. But seemingly the leak came from his lawyers office. Someone close to the case was so disgusted that they passed it on to the person who told me. I know that is clear as mud, but it is all I am willing to say.”

Eddie smiled.

“I’ll leave that for now. I’ll talk to my editor. But I can quote you that you heard it second hand?”

“Be my guest.”

“Okay, back to the court.”

“Well after Sandra died I take it that there was no point in them dragging it out. We had all the Social Work involvement etc to say that she was incompetent and she wasn’t here for them to TRY and prove otherwise, so they coped out for a deal.”

“…And the sentence, how do you feel about the sentence?”

“Fucking sick and disgusted. Five years and most of that will be in a secure residential unit for boys. I doubt if the fucker will ever see the inside of a prison.”

“What would you say to Ian?”

“I have nothing to say to him!”

“What would you say to anyone who will be reading this?”

“If I’d known what he would become, I would have drowned him at birth.”

“What about your wife?”

Steven looked over his shoulder.

“…Same! Leave it at that.”

Eddie nodded slowly.

“Just before Charlie takes your picture, are you sure that you want your photo published?

Steven shrugged and held his hands out, “I can’t fucking hide, so I need to be obvious.”

“I understand and I think you are right, but a couple of last questions…These are the hardest for me to ask.”

“Go on.”

What now? And what in five years time?”

Steven took the last cigarette from his packet.

“Now? Clichés! I will do everything I can to help Linda get better. And I will involve myself in working with families who are victims, like us, I have to. I can’t be disgusted with what others do anymore and think that the families were involved. Let’s be truthful, that crosses all our minds. So I want to help with that.”

“…And the future?”

“…Well in five years time I’ll be the man who takes my son into my local pub to build some bridges. I will lock the door behind us and shout at the top of my voice, ‘That is Ian Clark, he rapes old ladies! And much later, if he turns up, I will console my wife”

Eddie leaned forward and switched off the recorder.

“…But you have just given us a potential confession.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Let me ask you something. Have you seen the images?”

“…Well…Yes…They were…”

“We all know what they were. They were a beginning.”

“It’s horrific. I can’t begin to imagine what you have been through.”

“You don’t have to…

But do what you think is right…

As will I.”

Hugh Cron

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Week 106 – Stitches, Bells And Advocaat.

Well folks, that’s the festivities by for another year. I hope Santa’s sack was plentiful and The New Year Whisky Pixie was just as generous.

New Year is very relevant in this part of the world so I made that my inspiration for this weeks post before next week when it wouldn’t be just as relevant!

You see, the powers that be (Sky) in their wisdom decided that they wanted an Old Firm match (Celtic and Rangers) played on the 31st. Now the clubs didn’t want this, The Police didn’t want this, the hospitals didn’t want this and any sensible folks from Glasgow didn’t want this. However, the old saying that ‘Money Talks and to hell with sense’ kicked in.

So I would like to give you a walk through that day for some. Well, since New Year fell on the weekend, it actually started on the Friday with some social continual excessive drinking. On the day of the match, those who follow football…Who, to be fair aren’t always the problem and those who don’t, who can be, would either go to the match or find a pub where they could racially abuse their family and friends who they’d been drinking with the night before. At the end of the game they would toast the coming New Year, toast the pope or the queen and then glass each other. They would all bond once again by being sick all over A&E.

The lucky ones would be released from hospital or jail in time for The Bells. They’d be friends again and drink more, laugh at each other’s stitches and sing Auld Lang Syne at midnight. A breakfast of steak pie and peas would be consumed at around 1.00am. This would begin to sober people up so they’d have to drink copious amounts of lager and whisky until the time of the morning came that required another traditional breakfast. At around 10.00am they would enjoy a large plate of bacon and eggs. The eggs wouldn’t be poached or fried, they would be in the form of half a pint of Advocaat. They’d then watch the highlights of the football on the TV to remind themselves why they were all in stitches, and the result.

The weird thing is, we never hear much about the blood count, there are never many figures shown about hospital / ambulance / Police involvement or reports of domestic abuse, we just know that is there!

Now here is my very anorexic link to writing…This is one thing that all writers have avoided here in this country and that is using these social problems / acceptance as inspiration for a story. They never do and I just think that everyone has a fear that they will show sympathies for either one side or another. (Catholic or Protestant)

Me, I have tried and failed and really don’t care. And before I go on I know that I am actually talking about Church Of England but for whatever reason, one side of Glasgow swears allegiance so…I just wish that the queen is caught in a compromising position with the pope and it would shut both sides up!!!!

OK now onto our stories. They have been lying in limbo over the last few weeks but we hope that you agree that we have the year off to a cracking start.

We had some religious / business satire, Death Row, A lost love, a knowing partner and a bit of mystique to entertain you.

As always, our initial comments follow.

On Monday, we had a returning author. Raymond Hopkins was first up with his second story ‘Sandra’s Christmas‘.

‘I like the style and it made me grin.’

‘Good voice throughout.’

‘Well crafted and amusing.’

Mitchell Toews has shown himself to be a very hard working writer who is dedicated to his stories.

He had his fifth for the site published on Tuesday with ‘The Business Of Saving Souls

‘The characters were well drawn.’

‘The title was a very good fit for the content.’

‘Well constructed.’

We had a new author on Wednesday so we welcome Lewis Carter and hope he enjoys the experience. As always with anyone, we ask for more stories!

Departures‘ was next up.

”Lewis has hit on so many recognisable traits.’

‘Well paced.’

‘The twist at the end was perfectly positioned.’

Titus Green was next up. His second story ‘Profiteers Of The Second Chance Saloon‘ was published on Thursday.

‘Hard hitting and bitter.’

‘An uncompromised piece.’

‘This was bleak and honest.’

And even though it is a New Year, the end of the week is still Friday.

We had a second new author to complete our reading list. Again we welcome Andrew Miller and we hope that he enjoys this experience. Oh and that he sends us more work!!

After The Party‘ was last up.

‘This was really well put together.’

‘I was hooked.’

‘This intrigued.’

That’s the first week done and dusted.

So here’s to the next old firm game which I will ignore. I’d rather read some Grimms and listen to ‘The House Of A Thousand Corpses’ but I’ve got to admit, I’m partial to a large Advocaat!

Hugh

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Week 104 – Interest, Promotion And Mrs Claus’s Disappointment.

It has been a strange week for me this week folks. I met a guy I went through secondary school with. I reckon I hadn’t seen him for around thirty years. I was very surprised when he asked about my writing. He had seen an article regarding the anthology over a year ago and had remembered. It was nice to be asked. Not many people ask, but to be truthful, not many people know or realise what this all means to me.

I mentioned last week about me writing poetry and I’ll admit, I am the most un-poetic person ever! I’m even surprised that I do it! I have always kept all my writing a bit hidden. I am not as guarded now as I once was and if anyone asks what I do in my spare time, I champion this site and all our stories.

Continue reading “Week 104 – Interest, Promotion And Mrs Claus’s Disappointment.”

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Week 102 – St Andrew, Wine And Witch Free Chimnies

Just another Saturday! (Please look up that reference and watch!) Yep I said it last week, the number 102 is rubbish! I looked up some interesting facts and came up with this doozy:

102 is an even composite number composed of three prime numbers multiplied together. As in 2x3x17. Well there is a fact that you will never be able to gouge from your brain!!

Continue reading “Week 102 – St Andrew, Wine And Witch Free Chimnies”

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Week 101 – Darts, Dalmatians And Type ‘A’ Personalities

Well last Saturday we reached the hundred week mark. We have to thank everyone who read or commented or both, that is what the site is all about. We have also had over one hundred thousand hits on site! This is brilliant and we only wish that those who hit were either sending us in stories or commenting! Well maybe not, there are only five of us, but we would love the chance to be overwhelmed!!

Continue reading “Week 101 – Darts, Dalmatians And Type ‘A’ Personalities”

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Week 100 – A Celebration Of Two Years

Another week and another wee change. I think we had to.

Week 100!!!

We’ll get to that soon but we wish to begin with what is the most important part in all this, the stories.

This week we had four out of the five stories from new writers!!

Topics are as eclectic (I need to find a new word) as usual. We have Science Fiction, institutionalisation, exploration with failed manipulation, expectations and realism and a continuation. (Try saying that with a few haufs doon ye!!)

As always, our comments follow.

On Monday we were very pleased to introduce Nyx Bean with ‘Her‘. As with all our new writers, we welcome Nyx and wish her every success with her writing. What a cracking week to become involved!

‘This stands out.’

‘Great imagination linking the ‘other world’ with a recognisable earth…and a cat!’

‘Very imaginative.’

Wylie Strout was next up. Same welcome and we will add a hope you all have more for us to all the new folks!

Wylie’s short, ‘The Forgotten Tomorrows‘ was published on Tuesday.

‘Good writing. Wylie captured the loss and hopelessness very well.’

‘She depicts a broken and fragile state of mind brilliantly.’

‘It was an uncomfortable read but it needed to be.’

Our third new writer was published on Wednesday. This is getting repetitive but we welcome and wish Alex Colvin every success on the site.

The intriguingly titled ‘The Flexible Rules Of Anthropology‘ was next up.

‘This was well done and gave me a few laughs.’

‘The historic thinking was a point which he put across very well.’

‘The humour is a deliberate throwback to the explorers of old and their ‘superiority’.

Our fourth and final first time story teller was Louisa Campbell with her bitter-sweet tale ‘Snowflakes‘ which was published on Thursday. Which, I might add was our two year anniversary!! More welcomes, hopes and wishes are thrown at Louisa in a loving way!

‘This was as short as the marriage and she tied in expectations with reality beautifully.’

‘Subtle and really sad.’

‘The secretary picking a stiletto for her was maybe a symbol of what was coming.’

And then came Friday. There is no introduction needed. The one and only Leila Allison finished off a very enjoyable week with ‘A Hundred Year Old Man

‘Another smasher. You go back and continually find something else to appreciate.’

‘So many wonderful lines. They are a joy to read.’

‘Not talking Thursdays should be a real thing!!’

A Message From Us…

Well we got here. One hundred weeks and our two year anniversary on the sixteenth, I reckon we have done ‘no bad!’

We decided on a free hand for each of us to write whatever we wanted but I do reckon that most of us will hit on the same things.

It has been an absolute pleasure to be involved with this and for that Mr West has to be applauded for his initial idea and vision. I hope that we have continued to work to the ethics and integrity and more importantly, the quality that Adam first thought on.

You all may have noticed that he is still absent from the site, but he continues to have family commitments that he is dealing with. We are in contact with him and continually up-date him on what has been happening. Adam not being directly involved is a loss, we all miss him and we only hope that this is temporary. I know that I have to thank him for taking a chance on a rather uncouth individual to be part of this wonderful site. I wish him well and I know that he wants me to pass on his thanks and every success to all of you.

Onto our writers. It has been a pleasure. There are some of you who I can’t believe I am sharing a site with. The talent that I have witnessed is way beyond many commercial successes that I have read. The imagination, description, characterisation and overall skill has been a joy to read.

A run of the green and a roll of the dice is all that you need to elevate from hobby to living. Please remember us when that million dollar deal turns up!!!

The other folks that I have to thank are those who continually comment. We all love a comment and it is great to see that we have a crux of our writers who continually to do so. Some of the reviews and understanding are as good a critique as from any professional. This gives the site a sense of life and community. I still would love it if all the shy ‘Like’ folks would hit us with their thoughts.

I don’t want to mention specific writers as, well, we are a sensitive bunch and none of us are used to rejection!! But I hope that within my comments to you individually, you can understand the respect and regard I have for each and every one of you.

Lastly I have to say a big thanks to my fellow editors for their guidance, advice, tolerance and patience. Their friendship means the world to me.

Well that has been a bit of a love in. Not something I am used to doing as I’ve been married too long and have a list of enemies who have a note of my name!!

Maybe next year we could go with a ‘Who fucked us off’ theme…

Thanks to you all!!

I lift a glass and wish you ‘Aw The Best!!’

Hugh

***

I second everything that has just been said, well maybe not the theme for next year – but then I’m always open to suggestions !

I had no idea, when we first began this thing just what was going to happen. I imagined it would be a small site where we could possibly showcase some of our own work and maybe have some interest and more importantly, input from other authors. What actually happened has amazed and delighted me. We have read hundreds and hundreds of stories, one of the guys can probably tell you just how many, I can’t, numbers are not my thing. But, even more important than the quality and quantity of the written work is the friendships that we have forged.

The editors have been mates for a while, ever since our days on another short fiction site but the circle of friends we have now, among such gifted and prolific writers has enriched my life more than I would have thought possible. I am, I freely admit, a reading nut and a writing fool so, how wonderful to be connected, albeit virtually with this wonderful group of wordsmiths. Thank you all so much for your efforts, your good will, your kindness and your friendship.

And to my fellow editors I just want to say, I love having you guys as part of my life. We have had some sticky times and some hilarious times and it’s all been wonderful. I don’t do writing groups and stuff like that and after doing this with you guys anything else would be second best anyway.

Diane

***

Least but not last. Not only is it fitting for my capacity of coherence but it’s also Sweden’s motto for the Olympic Games. Literally Stories is like a classroom (it’s not at all like a classroom, but follow along anyway). Every week stories appear. We dissect, analyze, discuss, reason, debate, throw paper and chew gum. Since I’m the misfit, I chew paper and throw my gums. We don’t always agree, but often do and it has never been boring. In fear of losing the attention span of the average internet user, I now throw to punch lines.

Fun facts (of varying degrees of comprehension) about me:
I was once voted the most beautiful unjust man. I had to give up the title though. “Tobias just isn’t fair anymore.”

I was once wrongly convicted for death threats after calling too loudly for Diane.

I’m back. I’m hitting my quota. Half a decent joke per post. I traded the other half with Hugh for a glass of pish. My editors deserve a serious ending. They make me smarter, wittier and better. Because they ARE smarter, wittier and better. They are also more helpful; they’re pulling my dim ass to higher levels.

The sincerest and most non-jokingly thank you I can muster

Tobias

***

And after least, comes last. And possibly leaster.

It isn’t a word but it should be.

It’s a quite lovely moment to be able to reflect on one hundred weeks of stories, and two years that have changed my life for the better. As my fellow editors have already noted, we were just a bunch of people who met (virtually at least) via a short story site that was slowly sinking and wondered if just maybe we could put something together ourselves.

I guess we can officially confirm now that we just about managed it.

We live in extraordinary times. If you’d have told me twenty (ten!) years ago that four of my closest friends would be people I’d never met I’d have thought you were bonkers (and then run off to write a story about it) but it’s the absolute truth. Reading stories, sharing thoughts with the editors and having a lot of fun in the process has become as much a part of my routine as gin on my cornflakes.

Their advice on my own writing has been invaluable. The opportunity to read brilliant, imaginative and, on occasion, breathtaking stories on a daily basis is a privilege.

It takes time, effort and a whole lot of unpaid love to keep this place going – but it’s worth it.

Thank you to everyone who has made, and continues to make, a contribution to LS. I can’t wait to see what other tales you have up your sleeve for the next 100 weeks…

Nik

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Memorable Lines.

Just as an ending folks, we have thought on a few lines that we believe to be exceptional. Yep, we may have missed some and this is all about opinions, but here are those words that have stayed with us from the moment we read them!!

These are few among many but are a tiny example of the excellence of the stories we have the opportunity to share.

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When do temptations within a man overcome his better angels?

(Adam Kluger – Unprecedented)

Her memories stain the fabric and soul of our home with light and move me to both laughter and tears.

(Nik Eveleigh – Ella’s Ghost)

The coffee is as fine as the morning, as hot as the rising sun.

(Fred Foote – The Hunt)

The cancer done got you, boy. Got you from asshole to elbows. Not much we can do, but wave to you as you go.

(Fred Foote – Goodbye Blues)

In the beginning the days had no names. Jerry chased soap bubbles in the sunshine over freshly-cut grass, while his father strummed the guitar. Life was an easy rhythm of wonders with no conceivable end.

(Chris Wight – Wake Up Jerry)

It’s not clear to me how I would introduce myself were it not for this job.

(Matthew Richardson – A Life On Track)

It’s a hell of a thing to look into a face that knows nobody gives a damn anymore. You see it in stray cats, mostly.

(Leila Allison – A Hundred Year Old Man)