Jimmy shut his curtains.
“That’s the Polis. Bitch must’ve got mail.”
“Whit?”
“Think about it Al, the only way that staff come near the rooms at this time is if they’re handing out our letters!
…I bet you it was shite too! They fuckin’ found her cause of some shite letter.”
Continue reading “Bonus by Hugh Cron (Warning – Adult Content.)”
I did the Scottish translation thing a few weeks back and I had forgot to add in a certain phrase.
With these, some have some logic. For example,
‘Did you bring a piece’
Some of our friends in America would probably think we were asking if you had brought a gun, but no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. You see ‘A piece’ is actually a packed-lunch or a sandwich. The logic part is it comes from ‘A piece of bread and butter / cheese / jam / cheese and jam (A hidden delight I have mentioned before. It must be a red jam and it is even more delicious if the bread is toasted.)
Continue reading “Week 453 – FIENDALS (The spelling is for you Gwen), Eric Is A Legend And I Should Have Mentioned A Tattie Scone.”
Well here we go again and by fuck this might be random.
I loved when a kid who I worked with in the hostels used that word in a way that I had never heard.
Continue reading “Week 451 – Marvin / Scott – Which One Deserves The Plaudits, RETIRE!! – JUST FUCKING RETIRE!! And Rickie Bell’s Karaoke Extravaganza!”
Before we start I have to apologise for my Q&A session last week. I did something that I never do directly – I self-promoted, not just one, but two stories.
Continue reading “Week 449 – I Was A ‘Look At Me Hoor’ (I’m So Sorry!), The Literally Equivalent Of Pi And Lost In Translation, Or More’s To The Point, ‘Lost Initially’!!”
I seem to have a joke theme going on for now!
I don’t know why, I think it has just been coincidental on what I have been talking about over the last few weeks.
Continue reading “Week 447 – Before Frank, DS Is BS And Recycling Plastic.”
Well this is a sad week for many a British person. Half of Glasgow is in tears. But I’ll come back to that.
Continue reading “Week 445 – Beware Of New Taxi Drivers, Over-Acting And Personal Hygiene Products.”
My brother-in-law has decided to retire at Christmas.
I have asked him over the last few years why he hasn’t given up already and he stated that he was terrified that he would be bored. That got me thinking why I would retire tomorrow if I could and that is because I am the opposite of George – I’m fucking bored at my work!
Continue reading “Week 443 – Ben Lamech sounds Scottish, ‘Please Can We Call It A Tallywacker’ And He Sang On ‘Down To Earth’”
Jacob used to love his walks. He looked at the wildlife, listened to the river and tried to guess the oncoming weather.
…Rain was always a fair bet.
If I was to believe the stereotypes on TV I’d be very jealous of the Americans. You see, most times I have watched anything from a Comedy to a Thriller, most Americans are portrayed as hard working folks who strive to be the best at their work and are never happiest until they are happy at work.
Continue reading “Week 441-Egg Mayonnaise To Mourn To, Mary’s Flying Baby And I Loved His Wee Trike.”
Believe it or not, throughout my postings I try and add a wee bit of writing content within. It may even be tips for submission / acceptance / rejection but there is normally something there.
For this one, which may seem a bit self-indulgent, I want to explore the things we won’t write. (Or in my case talk about, that is why I’m writing this!)
Continue reading “Week 439 – Sorry For The Self-Indulgence, Sorry Again And Back To More Hate And Fanging Next Time!”
literally stories 