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Week 270 – Soggy Cornflakes At Noon, Triple Tainted Love And For Some, A Shagable Penguin.

Well here we are at Week 270.

I heard the best example of the pot calling the kettle black this week.

There was some Politician or another (They are all the same to me) stating that we should never believe what we read in the papers. I agree but he did have more cheek than ten arses to say anything about believability.

Continue reading “Week 270 – Soggy Cornflakes At Noon, Triple Tainted Love And For Some, A Shagable Penguin.”

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Week 269 – Hell Round Your Neck, Deformed Unicorns And Where Did That Portrait Go?

I know that a lot of people have read the classics and even more have claimed to have read them but I’m not one. If Dracula is classed as a classic, I have read that. I was forced to read ‘1984’ and ‘Of Mice And Men’ along with ‘Macbeth’. I think these books are what put me off seeking out more ‘classics’.

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Week 268 – Experts, Express Prescriptions And Apart From A Couple Of Fuds, Does Anyone Know A Good Vampire Joke?

Well here we are at Week 268.

A ‘conversation’ with Diane this week gave me the inspiration for this post.

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Week 266 – Eleven Stages Of Being (A Marshmallow), Respect Due To Connie Francis And Hooch Makes A Cracking Shandy.

Here we are once again guys.

I was wondering about our physical development time line. I think it went something like:

Baby. Toddler. Kid. Teenager. Adult.

Now-a-days we have:

Baby. Toddler. Pre-School. Young child. Older child. Pre-Teen. Young teenager. Teenager. Older teenager. Young adult. Adult.

This is very apparent in attitudes, as in, it takes the fuckers a helluva lot longer to grow up.

Continue reading “Week 266 – Eleven Stages Of Being (A Marshmallow), Respect Due To Connie Francis And Hooch Makes A Cracking Shandy.”

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Week 265 – Alternative Spelling, Pretending Your Name Is Keith And Two Sex Faces You Don’t Want To Visualise.

Well here we are at Week 265.

I looked back to see if there was anything interesting historically that had happened.

I saw that the beautiful Elizabeth Taylor died in 2011.

Ronnie Raygun also initiated ‘The Star Wars’ program.

And the first use of the abbreviation OK was used in America.

Continue reading “Week 265 – Alternative Spelling, Pretending Your Name Is Keith And Two Sex Faces You Don’t Want To Visualise.”

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Week 264 – Thanks And No Thanks, A Solution That Isn’t Alcohol And Looking After Number One And Two.

Well here we are at Week 264.

First off I need to thank Diane for her excellent post of last week. She did a grand job. And you may not know this, but she removed three thousand and forty two profanities from her original draft. I thank her on behalf of all you sensitive souls.

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Week 263 – ‘Fucking Statistics’, Various ‘Fuck Offs’ And A ‘Fucking’ Joke. – Warning – Don’t read if you are offended by swear words – (Oh that may be a tad late if you’ve already read the title.)

Here we are at Week 263.

I’ve been wanting to do a feature on this subject for a very long time but every time I tried to write the post it sounded like a Chronic Tourette’s Sufferers Convention.

Continue reading “Week 263 – ‘Fucking Statistics’, Various ‘Fuck Offs’ And A ‘Fucking’ Joke. – Warning – Don’t read if you are offended by swear words – (Oh that may be a tad late if you’ve already read the title.)”

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Week 262 – Bored Board Game, Deity Affected Genitalia And Lubricant For A Job Well Done.

Another week over – It’s so sad.

No matter what the size of the story, plots can be complex but it is very off putting when we consider a story to be contrived.

Acceptable complex to contrived is separated by a bit of insecurity. Trust your readers, you do not need to baby them. Have the confidence to reveal without having to leave clues. Clues are a different medium, they are for being spotted, not read.

I think it’s all to do with flow. If you’re writing and your plot unravels naturally, then you have got it right. If you constantly change a story to fit the plot then that is maybe what comes across as contrived.

Continue reading “Week 262 – Bored Board Game, Deity Affected Genitalia And Lubricant For A Job Well Done.”

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Week 261 – A Heads-Up, Going Commando And A Magnificent Ninth.

Here we are at week 261.

I wonder if anyone realises that we actually put tips into these postings. And don’t worry it’s none of those subliminal messages. If those worked both me and Diane would be drowning in Malt and Nik would be seaweeded out his head. South Africa doesn’t have seaweed, apparently, it’s The Electric Company’s fault.

Continue reading “Week 261 – A Heads-Up, Going Commando And A Magnificent Ninth.”