Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 371 – Glued Wimps, ‘DNR’ For Bjorn And A Miniscule Fud As 007!

If we go by past weeks, Leila will be doing the post next week, which means, I want to mention something this week, that, if I was doing this post next week, I would have mentioned it then.

Easter is creeping up on us, just like that crazy cat Judas did to a Roman before he whispered into his ear. I don’t think he won ‘Friend of the year’ that year. Anyhow it has struck me how there aren’t many religious things in the shops. There are plenty of tacky bonnets to put on your poor old demented granny. (I still believe that should be classed as a form of abuse!) And there are loads of ‘Easter toys’ which have fuck all to do with Easter. Now-a-days, wee Johnny and Jeannie don’t get a Jesus action figure that when his side is squeezed, he bleeds from his hands and feet (Red syrup not included) they get a Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig play centre…How very Christian!

I’m thinking on organising a market stall and going to The Philippines next week to see if I can sell any of that job lot of ‘No More Nails’ that I acquired, just in case those Snowflake Millennials want a go.

…Supply and demand guys!

Anyhow onto this week’s posting number 371.

You don’t really need courage to take on some subjects, you just need to be true to the subject.

In these times of ‘Trigger Warnings’ that become a fecking half page list, the PC brigade and The Enraged, I reckon a lot of writers fear what subjects they take on. Do you know that ‘The Enraged’ get sexually aroused when they see that there will be plenty for them to be enraged about after they have read every word!

I’m not too clear if they realise what being sexually aroused is. Well not with other people.

If you have ever had this fear after writing a story my simple piece of advice is don’t be!!

If the attitudes, opinions and situations are all about the characters then you have no need to worry.

I’ve mentioned this before and we had a discussion a few weeks back that has made me re-think this. I did and am still happy with that sort of reasoning.

In one of the hostels where I worked, there was a trainer who really did know his onions. He was a Mental Health Professional and was probably one of the most knowledgeable, genuine and level headed guys that I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. He insisted that we all have our bigotries, hidden or otherwise. We all have our preferences, hidden or otherwise and we all have our fears and insecurities, hidden or otherwise. He stated that this is what makes us human and what makes us a good person is knowing how to manage these.

I know that a helluva lot of folks would be outraged at that statement and would deny any of their own shortcomings but the guy had a point and a huge set of balls for constantly saying it.

No-one should fear what they write due to us all now becoming (??) or striving to be (??) completely tolerant and perfect Human Beings.

…’Perfect’, ‘completely tolerant’ and ‘Human Beings’ are words that will never be truthful if put together and stated as fact.

A word of warning, if you’re ever tempted to write a perfect character with no prejudices from your perfect point of view, it will only be believed by a Unicorn who is in a coma after a rainbow sherbet overdose.

Okay onto this week’s stories. Two new writers, two long time friends and one of our lovely editors had their stories published over the last five days.

As always our initial comments follow.

We have a weekly constant at the moment and that is a tale from Tom Sheehan.

A Saddle In The Desert‘ was our first story of the week.

‘Reminds me of those old cowboy films.’

‘This held me all the way through.’

‘It flowed very well and I know this is one of those that Tom loves to write.’

On Tuesday, the imaginative and enigmatic Leila Allison privileged us with her pen.

The Good News Club‘ was her latest story for us.

‘Great pace.’

‘Wonderfully enthralling.’

‘The ending was solid and satisfactory.’

Our first new writer was Serenity Marshall. We welcome her and hope that she has fun on the site.

Waiting For Daddy‘ was next up.

‘Authentic.’

‘Serenity conveys a culture without telling us, that is well done!’

‘Poignant but the middle section with the vision of the future lifted this to something special.’

A.J. Lyndon was next up with ‘The Seventh Wave’.

We extend the same welcome to our second new writer and we hope to see more stories from both of them.

‘Not my favourite genre but this was very well done. I enjoyed it!’

‘The style suited the MC.’

‘The subject has weight.’

We completed the week with one of our most interesting writers. Tim Frank is always worth a read!

The Peephole‘ was published on Friday.

‘Odd! But odd in a very good way!!’

‘Loved the sentence, ‘He was a virgin, a fact he didn’t hide from his mind.’

‘Weird – But I enjoyed this!’

That’s us for another week.

Please keep / start commenting!

Is there anyone out there that would like a shot at The Sunday Re-Run – Anyone? Helllooo? Is there anyone there???

We know you read it, we can see the viewing figures so come on, give yourself a showcase to write a spiel and ask some questions on an older story that you’ve enjoyed!

Just to finish off, I have a confession to make – I haven’t read much Dickens but I’m aware of the times he wrote about.

This came to me as I was reading what our Chancellor, Richie Rishi Sunak was ‘helping’ our poorest people with. In true Scrooge McDuck style, the little arrogant’ out of touch’ millionaire two hundred times over’ wealthy fuckwit’ handed folks pennies when the economy is taking back pounds.

I have no problem with anyone being wealthy (I wish I was myself!!) but the fucking hypocrisy in that man doing a job where he is making decisions regarding the lowest earners is nothing but a fucking insult!!!

…And for the little snottery nosed, over privileged twat not to see this, is an arrogance only a British Cabinet Minister is happy to live with.

Hugh

I just remembered something regarding our completely in-touch with the poor prick of a chancellor.

There was an episode of ‘Question Time’ where the panel were asked what Politician would make a good Bond and some sycophantic fuck stated, ‘I think my boss, Rishi Sunak’ would make a great Bond.’

I was nearly sick and just prayed for some audience member to shout out,

‘James Bond?? More like Pussy Galore!’

…I would have happily chipped in for their bail!!!!

Image: – Google Images

General Fiction, Short Fiction

Good News Club by Leila Allison

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Mom was a world class liar. Once in a lifetime. She believed that a solid lie should have few moving parts; this theory allowed her to capitalize on the specious notion that true-sounding things are brief. Mainly, Mom got her whoppers over with a confident attitude,brevity and something in her eyes that told you not to fuck with it further.

Continue reading “Good News Club by Leila Allison”
Literally Reruns, Short Fiction

Literally Reruns – Pooboogle by Adam Kluger

Adam Kluger’s Pooboogle is a first class example of the ray of light finding a down and outer kind of story. A form probably first thought up by one of the girls on the Ark. Yet Adam has not only updated the shape to fit the times, he still manages to find something new to say. I can’t locate specific examples (maybe the six fingered guy) as much as I got a refreshing vibe from the story. Maybe it is because of all the sour tales out there which attempt relevance by conveying steady rain and suicidal tendencies.

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Short Fiction

Week 370: A Mass Extinction, Four Moral Authors and Nine Reasons Why I Will Not Go To Heaven

There once was a race of authors who had achieved a level of celebrity similar to that of movie stars. Even people who didn’t read knew these authors by sight. They became the “must gets” for the swankiest dinner parties and were topics of discussion at all lesser gatherings. Then it ended. Just like that. Inexplicably. Alas, few authors turn heads in the wild anymore. Stephen King might–then again his face is hard to forget.

The mysterious mass extinction of celebrity authors is a phenomenon that only I have noticed or care about. Which means I am either a trailblazer or just another deluded soul, a couple of moments of clarity shy of the asylum.

Continue reading “Week 370: A Mass Extinction, Four Moral Authors and Nine Reasons Why I Will Not Go To Heaven”
All Stories, Fantasy, Short Fiction

Roscoe and the Lightning Glory: A Feeble Fable of the Fantasmagorical

Roscoe was a three-year-old Dachshund who had a problem: his “Associate Human” (A.H.)–though in most other ways acceptable–had a thing for dressing poor Roscoe in ridiculous costumes and posting the result on her YouTube channel. Dachshunds are uncommonly dignified, and things like being forced into wearing a “Frankfurter” outfit for the sole purpose of the A.H. gaining likes and subscriptions hurt Roscoe’s pride.

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Literally Reruns, Short Fiction

Literally Reruns – Nose by Doug Hawley

When you put out a shingle that says STORIES WANTED, you get a little bit of the good stuff and plenty of what you deserve for your impertinence. The “plenty of what you deserve” element is easy to describe: In some way something about each one in it sucks. That’s as scientific a way of putting it as I can give you. But the good stuff is hard to define; and sadly, some of the good stuff meets the same fate as the suck stuff for one reason or another. Actually, most of what we reject is well done, just the story is in some way incomplete, in our humble estimation.

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Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 369 – Statistics, (What a cracking word – It’s up there with ‘crocodile’ – A nod to the Kemp Brothers!) Opinions And Worth The Watch.

I’ve mentioned a few times that we go through the same process as anyone else when we submit our work. To be fair though, I think we’ve all changed from the early days when we first started doing this.

Continue reading “Week 369 – Statistics, (What a cracking word – It’s up there with ‘crocodile’ – A nod to the Kemp Brothers!) Opinions And Worth The Watch.”
Literally Reruns, Short Fiction

Literally Reruns – The Ten Commandments by Hugh Cron

When Galileo published a similarly themed dialogue which featured a God-defending character named “Simplicito,” who had the mental acuity of a centipede and was obviously meant to represent the Pope, he had to recant or die. Fortunately the world is a little more forward thinking overall, but we still live on a planet in which religious “heresy” can still get you killed quicker than a Star Trek phaser. If Hugh Cron’s The Ten Commandments somehow got published not all that long ago, in the historical sense, he’d probably wound up on the gallows or had his head decorating London Bridge. One should think he wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Short Fiction

Week 368: Adventures With Wildlife and Top Do-Overs on My Unsteady Jukebox

I love wild animals yet I know that some cannot love me back because I am human. Them’s the breaks. Still, I do my best to be friendly to the peripheral critters who hang around my hometown in abundance. Yet no matter how much I try to ingratiate myself to the wild things, some refuse to look past my status as a human being.

Fortunately, no majority of any wild species finds me disdainful, only a few devout misanthropes and the occasional bad apple. To be fair, I would say that a higher percentage of people find me objectionable than do, say, Voles. But, sadly, there have been exceptions to the tranquility.

Continue reading “Week 368: Adventures With Wildlife and Top Do-Overs on My Unsteady Jukebox”
All Stories, Fantasy, Short Fiction

PDQ Pilsner Playhouse Proudly Presents by Leila Allison

Without knocking, Renfield entered my office pushing an antique television on a furniture dolly. The thing looked old enough to have aired the Lincoln assassination.

“What now?” I asked.

She smiled. “Every time you ask me that; every time I avoid answering you, and every time I wonder why you have yet to catch on.”

I leaned back in my chair, put my feet on the desk and attempted to look wise yet amused, all knowing but still a good sport. For I’d read somewhere that such poses are commonly associated with a tall in the saddle style of leadership that people find inspiring. Unfortunately, I am very short.

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