I don’t know why I was wondering how many words a minute I could type. I decided to test myself. I can do around three hundred which I’m led to believe is quite impressive. I was so proud until I found out they all couldn’t be the same word without any spaces. No one appreciates my three hundred ‘a’s.
Continue reading “Week 313 – Speed, Alex O’Hara Was A Knob-End And Trust Me, ‘Old Shep’ Is Worse!”
We had Valentine’s Day this week.
If it made you feel all fluffy and unnecessary and gave you inspiration to write a romantic romance to warm the heart, you are welcome to send it hopefully to anywhere else bar us.
(Unless of course it has a sneaky and clever twist that will make us go OOOH – dd)
Continue reading “Week 312 – True Romance Is Quentin’s Best Work, Alternative Head Cleaning And A Nod To Lives Gone By.”
Well here we are at Week 311.
I was saddened this week to read of the death of Christopher Plummer.
Not as sad as I was when I became aware of ‘The Sound Of Music’.
To be fair, I haven’t seen it all the way through, just a look at those weird weans gives me the fear.
Continue reading “Week 311 – Everything, Long Legged Linda And That Dirty, Dirty Water.”
Hoors!
Dirty fucking hoors!!
Hoor-maisters…Dirty fucking hoor-maisters.
Clatty bastards the lot of them.
Continue reading “Do The Right Thing by Hugh Cron – Warning – Strong Adult Content”
Not too much nonsense from me as we have that once in a six year thingy that we do – We have a Saturday Special!!
But I’d like to state, this week I’ve lost my ZoomTimeFace Virginity.
I don’t like it. I prefer to talk pish to folks without seeing my huge face looking back at me.
Continue reading “Week 310 – Fat Larry’s Prediction, Always Yours And Paloma’s Saturday Special.”
She said she saw angels, and repeated it, so I did too, but I still haven’t grasped what it means.
I climb onto my bed, above the covers, and I gaze at the ceiling, yearning to comprehend it. This gray and dirty ceiling has hovered my whole life, floating above my bed. Built before I arrived, still standing after I’ve gone. Untouched, unchanged. Can I imagine a life without its ever-presence?
Continue reading “The Ceiling by Charlie Rogers”
Do you ever wonder why you do things?
Me, I contemplate why I throw salt over my shoulder, why I touch my collar and knee every time I see an ambulance, why I touch black when I see a hearse, why I need to close doors, why I need to remove a plate that I’ve finished with, why I work harder than my body allows, why I write these and more importantly why I don’t really kill some folks.
But hey-ho – Most of us are probably in the same boat. Well those of us who have embraced our madness and don’t simply want to talk about it.
Continue reading “Week 309 – Beef Pavlova, The Twelve O’Clock Rule And Kids – Do You Really Know What Snail Mail Is?”
Well it’s now Week 308!
I have no inspiration this week so I’ve decided to do something a wee bit different.
I was hoping that I could write some plaudits regarding John Higgins after some of the best snooker I’ve ever seen with his match against Ronnie O’Sullivan in the quarter final of ‘The Masters’ but he was beaten in the final by a twenty year old. (Fair play to Yan Bingtao though! That boy has some bottle!)
It is very writing relative as it is a total play on words. Not the snooker! The thing that is a wee bit different!
Continue reading “Week 308 – Does Anyone Remember: Old Blind Jack Getting Carried Away By Dwarves? When A Competition Needed To Be Worked At? And Dr Who In A Skirt Before Dr Who Could Wear A Skirt?”
My doctor says, “Zeeb, my old friend, your remaining days can be numbered in weeks, and not more than four. Then your Black ass is out the door forevermore.”
Continue reading “Goodbye by Frederick K Foote”
I was God. Men feared me.
Yet I was unworshipped.
No one paid homage.
No one left tributes at the altar.
I was the God who decided when and how men died.
Continue reading “Fallen from Grace by Tom Clark”
literally stories 