Tag: weekly update

Before I begin, I send out a warning to ‘The Sensitives’ – God forbid us ever upsetting ‘The Sensitives’ by mention even one of the three trillion things that they’ll get upset about!!

To all you ‘Sensitives’ out there, I use the bad swear word three times in the last two paragraphs so either take some Prozac or don’t read those paragraphs.

And I mean the bad, bad swear word that sounds like Kent if you are from London. You know the one I mean, well maybe you don’t, the one that’s a term for a lady part and not the cheeky ‘f’ word for a lady part that I refuse to use as I hate it. So many folks do and think it’s a bit of a laugh but not me!

However…Have a look –

Anyhow – You’ve been warned!

Continue reading “Week 324 – An Advert, He’s Behind You And I’ll Always Remember The Belter That Was Effie!!!!!!!!!!” →

Prologue

Welcome to week 323. My name is Leila Allison, and I believe that I am the first American editor at Literally Stories, which, of course, means nothing to no one nowhere no how, but since I so rarely come in first, I thought I’d mention it.

For those who are addicted to Hugh’s Saturday posts, I extend my apologies. But the fellow deserves a break every so often, and this week I have taken up the cause in his place. Although I have no idea what Hugh will do on his mini-vacation, rest assured it probably doesn’t involve listening to Coldplay or soliciting funds for a statue of the late Royal Consort to be erected in Ayr, Scotland.

The world is an unsteady place, but one thing is for certain: Hugh makes the Saturday post look easier than it is to accomplish in reality. So it is with great anxiety and a general sense of foreboding that I now present my pale imitation of the master.

Continue reading “Week 323: A Dope By Any Other Name is Still a…” →

Another week has come and gone and we’re still receiving plenty of submissions.

Continue reading “Week 322 – On A Hot Summer Night Would You Offer Your Throat To The Wolf With The Red Roses? Shang-A-Lang And The Greatest’s Greatest Line.” →

Week 321.

Whenever I look at that number I remember an old game show that was on the TV late 70s – early 80s.

Ahh nostalgia – It can get us all emotional.

But not with Three, Two, One. (321)

It was terrible.

Continue reading “Week 321 – Ted’s Fingering, Lists And A Kardashian’s Nipples.” →

I’ve been known to fuck about with a whole range of subjects in these postings but for this part, I need to put on my sensible head.

It has been a very sombre time in Britain. And I will also bow my head in respect. These are dark times, which, if we stick together, we will get through.

Continue reading “Week 320 – Don’t Let Your Teenage Kids Out Your Sight, Ugly Vampires And Editor Eating Cats.” →

Hi folks here we are at Week 319.

This was one of those weeks I had no idea what I was going to write, but a quick look at the paper with a can of lager and I saw my inspiration. (For all you anal types out there, it was me who was drinking the lager and not the paper – And yes, I know, I should have sorted the sentence which would have stopped me typing this pish!)

Continue reading “Week 319 – Too Much Variety, Diane’s Enthusiastic Observations And A Development That Would Make Satchmo Cry.” →

I was going to do something about procrastinating this week but I couldn’t be fucked.

I think I’ll ask Diane to put the read more tag after the next sentence so I can warn ‘The Sensitives’, I was going to call them Fuckwits and in a way, I suppose I have.

WARNING – Blasphemous Material – Do not read on if you are of a religious persuasion and likely to be offended. If you read on and are offended – Well – I told you!!!

Continue reading “Week 318 – A Sensitive No-Go Area, An Itch That Couldn’t Be Scratched And Jesus Body-Popping To ‘My Diane’ (He Nailed It)” →

This week some British people have been trying to decide what is fact and what is fiction. That’s a cracker as those who wonder are more than likely to bow and will believe what they’re told, depending on who tells them. Me, I don’t give a cat’s coke.

Continue reading “Week 316 – Subservient Pricks, An Unpleasant Repair And Why Steve Was Screaming.” →

This week I’d like to discuss not giving up. It’s quite apt as we had a writer not so very long ago advise us that they were giving up since this was now their fourth refusal. That is for them to decide but in the whole scheme of things four refusals isn’t that much. But it’s up to the person and how they feel.

Continue reading “Week 314 – Determination, Crushed Testes And An Acceptable Arc Of Urine.” →