Here we are at Week 340.
The year is flying by.
It won’t be long now to those dark endless days of the end of days.
Listen to me being all positive!
Continue reading “Week 340 – Legends Never Die, The Only Advert Worth Seeing And Alternative Words For Actual Events. (Allegedly)”
I find it weird how alike we are and how the same mistakes, attitudes, attempts go from generation to generation.
For example, all babies try to walk on tip-toes first. Either that or they are craving to be taller. And sorry to give a reality check to disillusional parents, it doesn’t mean that your kid is going to be a ballerina. It has more chance of being a crack addict or some form of prostitute.
Continue reading “Week 337 – Adult Warning Is All Your Getting, Repeating Like A Radish And Where The Fuck Is A Rip Tide When You Need One.”
I follow on from Leila’s excellent Week 334 with the not surprising Week 335!
Continue reading “Week 335 – Antagonism Counts, Coubertin’s Rings And Horse Shit Is Never Plastic.”
Here we are at Week 333 – Half the number of the beast.
I realised that I didn’t know why 666 was the number of the beast so I looked it up.
I’m none the wiser! It’s a bit complicated.
Continue reading “Week 333 – A Maiden Amount, Some New Traits For Samael And Patches Isn’t Just About Dungarees.”
At War With Reality
I like to create an artificial sense of order. To achieve this I write a To Do List everyday. I neither accomplish nor consult the thing after I make it, but the act of creating a To Do List and peeling it off the pad and sticking it to the wall behind my monitor temporarily places me in control. It makes me feel like I’m doing something; that I am in charge.
I write my daily list on one of the dozen or so multi-colored sticky pads that may or may not have at one time been inside the office supply closet at my workplace. I use one of the fifty or so black “Precise Rolling Ball” pens that may or may not hail from the same source as the sticky pads to write my To Do Lists (used to do them in a fine point Sharpie until the supply dried up). I take heart from the pastel squares of Great Deeds to be Done accumulating on the wall like coral. Many have given up the stick and have fallen into the slim space between my desk and the wall, down amongst the spiders. But looking up at those which hang in there gives me the artificial sense of order that I crave.
Continue reading “Week 332: At War With Reality, and The Apocalypse A to Z”
Well here we are at Week 331.
Every now and then we throw in a few nuggets of wisdom about the site and what we look for. Or how we consider submissions in general, so with that in mind, I’d like to concentrate on fledgling writers and pass on a few bits of advice. I think any writer who has done this for any length of time will agree with most of these.
Continue reading “Week 331 – Even Derren Brown Would Struggle With Some Of Our Submissions, At Least We Know The Words To Our Anthem And Yet Another Mad Tory Shagger!”
It’s Saturday afternoon.
It’s Twelve O’ Clock.
And this is post 329.
I hated ‘Crackerjack’.
It was a kids show that ended with a quiz. If the kid got a question correct, they got a prize that they had to hold. If they got it wrong they were given a cabbage. If they dropped anything, they got another cabbage.
But on the bright side, the wee stupid weans would at least have coleslaw and soup to eat for a few weeks!
Continue reading “Week 329 – Remembering Stewpot, Wondering If Two Snowflakes Are Frightened Of Everything And China Crisis Did Some Good Songs.”
Before we start, we have a Brucie Bonus:
‘Nice to see you, to see you…’ – Oh I can’t be bothered! If you don’t know the reference, I suggest you don’t look it up.
We have a secret level today, a wee addition.
We are delighted to announce that we’ve received a piece of work from the legend himself, that, to be honest, we didn’t know how to categorise. It isn’t exactly prose. It’s definitely not a story or essay. And it’s not a poem.
But what it is, is a brilliant piece of writing.
Continue reading “Week 328 – He Always Wanted To Be Sammy, More Brilliance From Tom And Potential Familiarities”
Another thanks to Leila for doing such a sterling job last week.
We had an inventive posting from a lady with a brilliant imagination.
Your back in the mud guys with me!!
Continue reading “Week 326 – A Successful Return, ‘Shall We Shag Now Or Shall We Shag Later? And Who’s Got A Beard That’s Long And White?”
Advisory
No vermin have been harmed during the production of this post. The only vermin the author would like to harm are those who police matters of pronoun usage. In this piece Rats will be referred to in the masculine and Mice in the feminine (and yes, I know capitalizing vermin species deviates from standard usage). It could have gone either way, but mention of the late Audrey Hepburn, in relation to Mice, was the deciding factor.
For those persons who will still take offense on general principle, due to the combined deficiencies of their parents, mentors and education systems, I offer this item I found on Google yesterday during my research for this piece: Oxygen through the rectum aids in respiration. Since the persons addressed in this paragraph think and speak with and through their rectums, I find it fair to point out that there are health benefits to be gained from such ignorant actions.
Continue reading “Week 325: Little Vermin Have Big Ears”
literally stories 