All Stories, General Fiction

What Follows (The Chair) by R. Harlan Smith

On the night Frank Pearls died, he gathered his little congregation around his chair and gave each of them a little snack like a priest giving Holy Communion. They received their snacks gleefully and smacked their lips to show their appreciation. Then he settled back in his chair, swallowed another glass of whiskey, filled the glass again, and in his calm, pleasant voice,  proceeded – sometimes he would read to them from Joyce, or Kierkegaard, or Al Capp, or sometimes he would just talk to them about philosophy, but he would never tell them it was philosophy. Tonight he would talk.

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All Stories, Humour

The Black and White of it by Peter Caffrey

Melvin sat on the garden wall, deep in thought. Chip pan fires were the stuff of 1970s public information films and soap operas. He didn’t know a single person who had suffered a chip pan fire but out of the blue, it happened to him.

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All Stories

Week 174 – Avoidance, Rat-Motherfuckers And Ideas You Wished You Had Thought Of.

Here we are at Week 174 and if there was anyway I could eradicate a Saturday, I would!

I honestly wish I was anywhere in the planet other than here in Scotland for the next week. In fact I wish I was on another fecking planet.

Continue reading “Week 174 – Avoidance, Rat-Motherfuckers And Ideas You Wished You Had Thought Of.”

All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction

The Woodpecker Telegraph System by Leila Allison

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Elmer Fudd’s laugh speeded up ten-thousand times comes close to describing the sound of a woodpecker beaking the holy hell out of a metal chimney cap. A pneumatic “uh-huh-huh-huh-huh,” with a little “phu-bub-buh-tuth,” thrown in for variety, gives you the soul of the thing. Wikipedia calls this behaviour drumming.

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All Stories, Crime/Mystery/Thriller, Short Fiction

Progress, Not Perfection by Fernando Meisenhalter

I rob banks, and I always get away clean, except this one time when my old lady ratted me out to the cops.  She wanted part of the money to pay for her smack addiction, and I didn’t give her any, so she went to the cops, told them about the heist, and I did time.

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All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction

Taps by DC Diamondopolous

Peter crouched in front of the attic window and gazed down on old man Mueller’s cornfield. The plow, unhitched beyond the stalks, turned north like he meant to continue but got interrupted. Peter looked toward the barn, no sign of Mueller’s horse and buggy. The Amish and Mennonite neighbors, with their peculiar ways kept to themselves. Mueller only talked to his pa when he accused Rufus of killing his chickens, or a year ago, the day his brother’s mind broke when Gabe went screaming from the veranda twisting his ears as he ran into Muller’s cornfield. That day Mueller shot out of the house, the top of his unsnapped overalls flapping as he sprinted after Gabe, Mueller’s wife and five children dashed onto the porch, the boys still in their pajamas.

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All Stories, Latest News

Week 173 – Mental Health, Writing About Mental Health And The PC Cowards Who Do More Harm Than Good.

Hi folks we are now at Week 173 and getting closer to 200 000 hits on the site! All is good!

We receive a lot of stories about mental health. This should always be showcased, considered and faced. But let’s be honest, this has become a bit of overkill. We all have some form of mental health problems in the same way that we all get a cold.

A cold shows up a few times a year and we have to knuckle down and get on with it. That is manageable. But if it escalates into the flu, pleurisy or pneumonia, then that’s getting serious.

Mental health is the same.

‘I’m sorry but I’m feeling a bit anxious due to my last selfie looking a bit pish’ isn’t that serious. It may be the cold version of narcissistic PD but its shite compared to the ‘I’m mad and want to kill you through the head’ people. Obviously those issues may need you to talk to someone and take a wee pill.

I think we should take our lead from animals. Most of their insecurities end in violence but at least they don’t spend hours boring folks with their PTSD problems due to a ragged nail on the night their granny told them that she was actually their grandpa.

We are also inundated with child bearing mental problems. Again, look to the animals of this world. If they can’t handle their offspring they eat them. I know it may be radical but again it would save a lot of tears from those poor fucks who have to listen to the explanation of their baby blues.

This all brings me to my point. Is content distasteful to us all or does it depend on your experience?

If your Great Uncle Norbert was killed during World War 1, would that make you find all those stories offensive?

If your wee brother Lionel / Lionelmenna was a cross dressing dictator from Peru, would you never want to read ‘Paddington’?

If you went to school with Jimmy The Junky who OD’d would you never take a Tramadol?

If you have finished a bottle of Talisker and not had the money for another one would that put you off saving up?

And if your sister was very sociable, accommodating and enjoyed letting you watch, would that put you off relatives, sex, football teams, romance, plungers, farmers, water sports and Turkish Delight?

I can’t answer for them all but I am saving up for more malt.

I wouldn’t want to bore you with my therapy sessions but my therapist is very experimental and gentle. I may need therapy about that one day.

I just find it weird when folks get on their high horse and state that some stories are terrible and sick. They finish off their argument with pish like, ‘It’s not funny, my gran died in a tragic knitting and bubble bath accident and I don’t want to be reminded of this by reading about it.’

No offence folks but that is funny!

We have all suffered. We’ve all experienced death and trauma.

They should be commenting about their hurt due to loss not blanketing a situation whether it be ridiculous or recognisable.

OK guys onto this weeks stories.

We have a first, a second, a third, a fourth and a tenth time contributor. So shame on you Mr Clayton for being so successful and ruining my numeric link!

Our topics this week include a marital aid, positive / negative handling of friends, rebellion, an actor and another actor.

As always our initial comments follow.

On Monday we had the second offering from Tom Chambless. He started off the week with ‘The Great God Cernunnos

‘A darker end of the humour spectrum.’

‘I enjoyed the idea of his paranoia and her getting her jollies.’

‘The ending about him being discussed was concise and realistic.’

Nick Sweeney was next up with his fourth story.

Pavlov’s Dogs‘ was published on Tuesday.

‘I had to concentrate, this was a proper read.’

‘Carrie was an interesting character. She was deep and resourceful.’

‘There were all sorts of terror, friendships and reality – I liked this.’

Our only newbie this week was Vanessa Gonzales. We welcome her and hope that she has fun on the site and continues to send us more of her work.

Don’t Feed The Goat‘ broke the back of the week.

‘We knew that she was never going to make a break for it so any rebellion worked.’

‘The minor act was major.’

‘Nicely told and a good conclusion.’

On Thursday we had Roger Ley with his third story.

‘The Masquerade’ nearly finished off the week.’

‘Once I’d read this, I had a grin on my face.’

‘A fun piece.’

‘This made me smile and I found myself rooting for the MC. I think it had to do with my Mr Benn fetish. (Sorry Nik!!)

And now to Mr Spoil My Sequence! Well that is if we write 2,4,1,3,10.

Martin Clayton sure can immerse you into his locations. He finished us off with ‘The Curse‘ (I actually thought this was going to be a totally different story involving painters.)

Wisely it wasn’t! Brilliant he is!!

‘Good story and great tone.’

‘The ending was really well handled.’

‘I wasn’t expecting this to have a dark side to it.’

That’s us for another week. I hope that you have taken the posting as intended!

At the beginning of this I was trying to make a point on the outraged regarding content. That isn’t meant to take away from the one thing that no-one is allowed to say or consider regarding mental health due to the PC and Care Sector, Molly-Coddling, Cotton Wool Wrapping, Trendy Empathic, Ball-less, Colleague Incestuous, Nazi Fuckwits…

…Unfortunately all those actively seeking medication or benefit know what buttons to push. And this takes away from those in genuine need and crisis.

Not everyone is in need or crisis. They either have a symptom of life or their symptoms become a financial and medicated way of life.

These all need recognising for what they are.

…But they all give us something to write about!

Hugh

All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction

The Curse by Martyn Clayton

Sometimes investigative reporters come sniffing around for news of Lionel Fetlar.  They’ve heard he’s living on the south coast now, a town that remains resolutely unfashionable while those nearby have undergone a modest transformation following the influx of the affectedly on trend from that London.

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All Stories, General Fiction, Humour, Short Fiction

Masquerade by Roger Ley

The seed was sown when Riley joined the amateur dramatics group. He had played a couple of minor roles, first in a Sheridan play then in a Dickens, when the email arrived from the am-dram group’s administrator. It was forwarded from a film company needing extras for a few days filming in the local market town. He arrived at the crew’s temporary encampment in the central car park and was told he would be playing a policeman. He hadn’t worn a uniform since he’d been a scout and was surprised by the feeling of empowerment it gave him. The helmet, the collapsible truncheon, the mock pepper spray, it was a new dawn, he felt marvellous, confident. He was somebody, he was a policeman.

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