It shoulda been okay. Tommy told me it’d be fine. “You worry too much Davey. You’re as bad as a whinging woman. What about this and what about that. It’ll be fine.”
Well, I ask you – “As bad as a whinging woman” and him supposed to be my mate. My best mate. Anyway what could I do then? I had to go along with it didn’t I?
David Burstein was not quite sure how it started exactly.
You ride the subway for years and after a while, weird shit just happens, right?
David was with a couple of his new publicists or interns or whatever attractive young women who work for free in a shit economy want to be called — when it happened.
The old woman looked a little bit off.
Continue reading “The Rise and Fall of Johnny Thunders by Adam Kluger”
“Alfred,
Thanks for letting us see your work…
I’m afraid we are unable to offer you publication in Pushing Down the Daisies magazine.”
” Hi Rudolf…Thanks for the kind and quick reply. Submitting two pieces of fiction (The Pencil-Pusher & The Rain Washed His Underwear Clean) and some artwork that perhaps, might be a better fit for Pushing Down the Daisies. Best regards, Alfred…”
“…sorry we dont publish fiction at all…”
I often wonder would I make a better pallbearer if I were born in America. Coffins are carried by the handles in America.
In Ireland they are carried on the shoulders.
I have very small shoulders.
Foreword.
And so it came to pass –
It turned out Fly Mary was telling the truth in her lies about ‘The Second Coming’. The upstairs neighbour had been a Jaffa and Sonny was who she lied he was.
The question on god wanting to shag a skanky, cider drinking, random hoor has never been considered.
This is the story of one specific day in the life of Sonny and his morning resurrection.
Continue reading “Sonny Dodds – The Magical Years by Hugh Cron – Adult Content”
“Joe Dodd!!!! Get your arse in here!!!”
“I’m coming! The census man was at the door. I told him that there was no spare room!”
Joseph ran to his wife. She was lying in bed with her legs very tightly together.
Continue reading “The Second Coming by Hugh Cron – Adult Content”
OK everyone, attention please. Find the table that matches your number, sit yourselves down and get chatting! When I ring the bell, ladies remain where you are, gentlemen move to the table to your left. Good luck and good love!
“Did she really just say good love? Sorry, I mean hello my name’s Darren and did she really just say good love?”
“Your badge gave you away and yes she did. Sorry, I mean hello my name’s Lucy which you probably already know now that I’ve given away my secret powers of name tag identification, your badge gave you away and yes she…you’re actually wearing a wedding ring. Of all the…”
“Hold on, I can explain.”
“This should be good.”
“I’m married.”
Continue reading “Good Night, Good Luck and Good Love by Nik Eveleigh”
“Call to order – case number five hundred and thirty three.”
“Good morning, please state your name.”
I asked her if she was from Russia. She said “Ukraine,” but I was too embarrassed to ask if that was in Russia so I just nodded.
She hand-washed my blouses, and I loved her for that. I wanted to share the five habits of healthy living with her, but I didn’t know her well enough at the time.
· Never eat anything bigger than your head
· Stay away from dairy
· Drink lots of water and always add a flavor packet
· Don’t eat the things you want the most
· Train for a full marathon
For a long time, it rained. We moved into the house in late October, before Halloween. I was surprised at the rain, how long it lasted. First it was days. The days became a week. And, finally, it had been raining off and on for three weeks. It was almost Thanksgiving. We were drowning. Sammy didn’t care about the rain. It didn’t bother her. She’d say, “nobody cares, Don. This is the Pacific Northwest. It’s gonna rain, OK?” I got up every morning and went straight to the front door and opened it. Rain.
literally stories 