All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction, Writing

Behind Closed Doors by Hugh Cron

‘It’s been many a year since we had a day like today! It was a lovely wedding. You looked beautiful. It was an absolute pleasure dancing with you.

Robert and Jane were in a bit of a state, all good fun though.

…What were Peter and Lee like, they propped up that bar all night. I don’t know how their wives put up with them. Not one dance, not even at the end. I couldn’t treat you like that. At least the girls enjoyed our company, I just had to dance with them, it was such a shame. You wouldn’t have expected anything else, I had to keep the party going.

…They had nice things to say. They said what a good friend you are. That you were always there when they wanted to moan about Peter and Lee. You helped them out with the kids. I told them that I knew what an absolute lovely person you are and it was nice to know the regard they held. Sheila and Claire are two very good friends who are appreciative!

We had a laugh when I asked about the little secrets that you told them about me, they were either being very loyal or very diplomatic, they just said that you told them that we were as happy as the day we met. Sheila couldn’t believe that I went shopping with you, I don’t think Lee moves from the couch, well maybe only to get a beer!

…The meal was a lot better than I expected, I think we both enjoyed it.

The smoked salmon was lovely.

I noticed that it was you who kept the conversation going. If it wasn’t for us I think that no-one would have said anything and there would have been nobody dancing!

I hope you weren’t angry at me tipping the taxi driver, it was just that he waited for a while. I think it says a lot about what our friends think about us, it took us ages to say our goodbyes.

I didn’t see the point waiting until last kick, we’d never have got a taxi and I don’t think that you’d have been too happy about walking – Well not in those shoes! Tomorrow – There may be blisters!

I think we should finish off such a brilliant day with an early night. It’s time to let your hair hang down.

…Lead the way.’

He locked the bedroom door and put the key in his pocket.

‘Now about you telling your friends that I have to do the shopping…


Hugh Cron

Image – Pixabay

8 thoughts on “Behind Closed Doors by Hugh Cron”

  1. The slow revelation throughout foreshadowed the outcome – that we believe ends in a beating. But then again it might be the game they play. There was a clear indication of a public face of a underlying control freak…


    1. Hi James,
      The public face you comment on is very accurate.
      Control in some situations can be mistaken for thoughtfulness.
      Face value is never what it seems.
      Thanks as always!!


  2. You measured this just right. It seemed that something was delightfully “wrong” with the voice all the way through. Something tense. Something elusive. The small obsession with the tip…and off little jibes about the dinner being better than expected… I could almost hear his rage beneath all the polite, profanity free blather. Well struck


    1. Thanks so much Dave.
      Putting the word ‘realistic’ within your comment makes me very happy!!
      All the very best my friend.


  3. Locking the bedroom door is ominous, especially with the one line of dialogue that follows, and the tense small talk build up. “I asked about the little secrets that you told them about me.” She seems deep down tense. Like she’s been talking all the time to cover up the tension and he’s been relatively silent…. “It’s time to let your hair hang down,” hints like maybe they’re going to have a good time…… or that’s what she hopes. The final line is the clincher, I think.


  4. Hi Harrison,
    Thanks so much!!
    I appreciate the time that you give us.
    It still gives me a buzz to see my stories on the site and the comments make my day!


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