Week 586 – A Missing Racehorse, Unnecessary Declaration And 9.15 Would Be The Same.

Another week to round-up, Week 586 to be exact. (I’m sure I’ve asked before but, how many of our American friends are familiar with the episode of Bilko that had the song, ‘The Last Round-up in it??)

Anyhow, I’d like to start with a song. This is one of those weird songs as in I forget how much I love it until I hear it! I am listening to it as I write this, hence this beginning!!

I’ll be in a terrible mood this week as I need to do my yearly garden tidy up. I haven’t got a garden that only needs a once over once a year, I have grass and all the other shitty greenery that needs regular maintenance but I hate doing it. There is some sort of Triffid like thing originating from my side and it has invaded my next door neighbours. The grass, well I could trim it from my upstairs. The same time last year I found a dead cat in my shed. I didn’t kill the cat, I didn’t lock it in as there was no window. I looked after my shed as much as the garden. I think the wee soul must have had a seizure or something. I found out a couple of things about myself that day, firstly, I can get rather upset over an animal I don’t know. And secondly, I don’t like moving anything that is mummified.

I’m worried to see what I’ll find this year. Maybe the corpse of Shergar in amongst the grass??

Enough of this nonsense!!

I was wondering, if a spell check comes up due to a mistake, do you manually correct it or do you just click on the suggestion? – If you click on the suggestion – Don’t!! And if you see a kid doing it, strike them!!!!

It doesn’t stick if you click!

When you type the correct version of your mistake, you learn. This might seem like something over nothing but, especially with kids, their spelling will never improve.

To me, it’s a bit like a steam burn. You can tell anyone that this is painful but they will never fully understand how painful it is until it happens to them.

…That’s a bit of a shit comparison on learning!

I know…What to do if someone spells something wrong, burn them with steam and keep burning them until they get it right!

Maybe that’s a bit harsh but I’ve always been considered harsh and cold. (With people I might add, never animals!) I’ve been called; ‘Black-hearted’, ‘Inhuman’ (That was because I advised a wee granny that I didn’t like children), ‘Ice Bleeder’ and ‘Nae-feelin’ Shug. But the worst I ever heard was when a young student stated, ‘Hugh – Surely you can’t be married, you’ve no compassion in you.’

None of these bothered me. As long as my cats hate me, any dog comes over to see me and Guineau Pigs snuggle into my neck, I’m fine and dandy!!

I am being forced to be in the same room as daytime TV when I visit my mum. I fucking hate daytime TV! Magazine shows, Bargain Hunt (How can any daft cunt get excited over making a fucking fiver??) and quiz shows run me cold. That ‘Deal Or No Deal’ is something out of nothing. It’s simple, you have a five to one chance in making any decent money. All their systems etc go out the window when it’s a game of chance! Anyhow, that’s not what I want to comment on. Every player told every other player how much they love them. I don’t understand. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s my race, maybe it’s family influence…I’ve told very few people this…And very infrequently. I find it difficult to say and never regret not doing so. I’ve never said it to parents or grand-parents and they’ve never said it to me. I wouldn’t have known how to respond if they had! Folks on their fucking mobiles make me cringe when I hear, ‘Love you, love you lots, bye, bye, bye bye!’

What’s wrong with a sincere ‘Cheerio’ as you are just glad that you aren’t talking to the prick any-more??

I just think that it is an overused phrase that should only be used now and again. It loses it’s meaning otherwise. It’s the same as wishing someone dead, don’t do it unless you really mean it!!!

Weirdly I’ve done that a lot and have been sincere every fucking time.

Onto this week’s stories!

We had two new folks who we welcome, two returners who we are glad are back and Leila who has now hit (If I’ve counted correctly) an eye-watering and extremely impressive 139 stories!!

As always our initial comments follow.

On Monday we had our first new writer, Christopher Kostyn Passante with, ‘The Fields Of Leith.’

‘This held me.’

‘Quick details, well turned.’

‘Hell must be crowded with all the evil that has been inflicted.’

Devin James Leonard’s ‘Maneater‘ was his second story on the site.

‘A slight, ‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ vibe.

‘Weird little thing.’

‘The part about drinking with straws was especially good.’

My fellow author, Leila was next up with, ‘Cantrip On Catnip’.

‘The image of Daisy having a tantrum was magnificent.’

‘I was inserting the adverbs mentally!’

‘Bravo on calling out ‘Hooman!’

On Thursday we had another new writer, Philip Matcovsky. His story was entitled, ‘Inside The Warp.’

‘Strange and interesting.’

‘This stewed in my mind.’

‘I was entertained with this.’

And our second returner finished off the week with their second story. That was ‘Homecoming Queen’ by Adam Dorsheimer.

‘This went real weird.’

‘I wondered where this was going.’

‘This is way out there.’

That’s us for another week.

Keep writing, keep reading, keep commenting and keep telling no-one that you love them!

Just before an excellent cover version, I’d like to share with you something that I heard from the comedienne Danny Bhoy.

He stated that he bought a Jesus clock from his local car-boot sale. He didn’t realise it was Jesus until quarter to three that day.

Talking about all things holy, I was watching an old brilliant but daft Scottish comedy that I loved called ‘City Lights’ and there was a Christmas special that featured Billy Connolly. It was a parody of one of the worst films ever, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. (Forrest Gump beats it!) Connolly played a Guardian Angel. He was a Glasgow Guardian Angel and instead of getting a wonderful name like Yezalel, Mikael or Harael with a magnificent set of wings…He was called Boaby and was given a bunnet and a bus-pass!

Don’t know why, but that makes me smile!!!

Once again I heard this song on a compilation station. I know nothing about the artist but by fuck does this give me goose-bumps!!!

Hugh

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay – green, rickety old garden shed with overgrown weeds and rubish around it.