…I always wanted to have a shot at some of that inner dialogue speaking to me.
You know the shit that I’m talking about; the ‘Sex In The City’ voice, ‘True Romance’ and me hearing Alabama, or even I suppose, John-Boy from The ‘Waltons’. Any of them would have done and I wanted it to be from me for me.
It nearly happened. Once.
I was working in an absolute toilet of a bar and the usual crowd were in. Well when I say crowd, there were five of them sitting around a table nursing their drink. Joker was holding court and they were playing dominoes.
This was the young Joker of about twenty years back. Not the old fucked out his head with too much speed Joker of now-a-days. He was actually quite good looking. He could handle himself but he was a lazy work-shy, self-centred prick. But I had a soft spot for him.
This guy, who I’d never seen before, came in, ordered a pint and went over to play the puggy. The locals had a look at him and went back to their game.
He ordered another three pints over the next hour.
It pisses me off when some twat sits their glass down, stands up, ignores the fucking thing and then comes over to the bar to order another. What is wrong with bringing it up with them? Wank!
So I’m looking over at the puggy where his three empty pints were sitting. I was going to shout but to be truthful I didn’t want to draw any attention to him as I was fed up baring those daft fuckers for a week and backing down after a day. I took a deep breath and went over to the side of the puggy and leaned up and lifted two of the empties. As I did that, the guy groped one of my boobs. I was just about to glass the fucker when I caught movement from the side of my eye. I looked round and saw Joker stride up with his fist clenched by his side.
So here is the dialogue that went through my mind. Well this is how it manifests itself when I think about it now. It probably wasn’t exactly this but I sometimes fucking need it!
Sure he is a rough diamond and a work shy self centred speed freak prick. But here he is, coming to my rescue. I know I shouldn’t feel anything for him but maybe, maybe there is something in him.
True romance shows itself in many forms and today this is it.
Joker nearly took the fuckers head off with a haymaker. The guy went flying across the bar, through a table and hit the deck, spark out.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll clean that up.”
He walked over and grabbed the guy by one ankle and began to drag him out.
I think I’m blushing. Jesus I feel, well, I know how I feel!
…Sod it. It’s time someone gave him a chance.
He’s asked me out a hundred times but if he asks today, I’m saying…Y..
He opened the door and chucked him onto the street.
“I’ll piss on your face if you are still lying there in five minutes.”
“Fuck sake boys, we’re regulars and we don’t to get to feel her tits!”