All Stories, General Fiction, Humour

The Amalgamated Union of Pennames and Imaginary Friends by Leila Allison

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There may be organizations more useless in the universe than my union, but I’m at a loss to name one. Just this afternoon I was seated at the wrong side of my rep’s desk; and although the gent eventually professed sympathy for my plight, I could tell from his er-ing and hmmm-ing, uh-ing and you-don’t-saying, that when it came to fixing a grievance, he’d be as effective as a chimpanzee pitted against Einstein in an equation smack-down at Math Camp.

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All Stories, General Fiction, Romance

An Easy Choice to Make by Hugh Cron – Adult Content

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Mary closed the door behind her, the third chime from the grandfather clock was just a memory from her hall. She walked down the front path into the darkness. It was cold, so cold. Her gloved hand held them tightly; the reason for her torment.

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All Stories, General Fiction

The Adventurous Woodsman by Dave Louden – Strong Adult Content

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Who suggested it is anyone’s guess.  What matters is that on a Wednesday morning at 10:21AM I was trawling the local sex shops with three female friends and marvelling how a few mounds of rubber could create sexual tension where there was previously none.

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Literally Stories – Week 60 – Censorship

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I know that there will be tears all round as you begin to realise that Mr West is tied up and not able to do this week’s round-up. There will be even more tears when you read this and realise that it is me who is filling in! Adam is excellent at tying up the weeks and giving us some excellent meaningful meanderings relating to the said week so I thought I would do the same.

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All Stories, Humour

A Lost Cause Part 4 by Adam Kluger

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Hey “Kamp-town Racist”… here’s a poem– doo-dah, doo-dah…
Roses are red, violets are blue–without your brilliant literary and sociological insights I wouldn’t know what to do.
Alfred Klumpner aka Drunk Holden Caufield aka Whitey

…

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All Stories, General Fiction

Coming Home by Louis Hunter

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That’s new. I sit in front of the green, perched on the verge. Broken car pulled up behind me, half jacked, tyre removed but not replaced. Puncture. Should’ve bought that new spare. Little white balls float through the air like gulls, wobble in the breeze before landing on the trimmed grass. They pick up the flag, one hits and the other hits and the last hits. They put the flag back and move on. More balls sail across the sky, more flags are hoisted.

and you won’t tell him will you? she said

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All Stories, General Fiction

Across the Universe by Christopher Dehon

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She bought a maternity t-shirt that said “Friends Don’t Count Chromosomes,” and she wore it like we were getting just what we’d hoped for. I spent my time praying that the test had been wrong. I listened to Imagine and added my own verses “Imagine all the people, living without disease…”

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All Stories, General Fiction

Skink, the Town Drunk by Tom Sheehan

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This one’s for you, Skink, this solid and remarkable dream I had one night, just last week, still haunting me in this, my 88th year on the planet. It was so real I believe it really happened in a place so near us, we can’t see it, or so far away from us, we’ll never get to see it for ourselves, even though we know it inside and out, upside and down, from left to right, and all the in-betweens, the hereabouts that may occupy more than one place in this universe.

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All Stories, Humour

A Cat Explains Ten Ways For Cats To Protect Themselves From Cucumbers by Nicholas Roth

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#1: Put a mirror in front of your feeding bowl. Cucumbers generally approach from directly behind and often attack while the victim is eating. Make sure the mirror is above you and tilted downwards so that you can clearly see the floor behind you. Should you spot a cucumber sneaking up, turn around to face the cucumber and back slowly out of the room. Whatever you do, do not panic and jump wildly into the air! You’re likely to come down directly on top of the cucumber.

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