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Week 318 – A Sensitive No-Go Area, An Itch That Couldn’t Be Scratched And Jesus Body-Popping To ‘My Diane’ (He Nailed It)

I was going to do something about procrastinating this week but I couldn’t be fucked.

I think I’ll ask Diane to put the read more tag after the next sentence so I can warn ‘The Sensitives’, I was going to call them Fuckwits and in a way, I suppose I have.

WARNING – Blasphemous Material – Do not read on if you are of a religious persuasion and likely to be offended. If you read on and are offended – Well – I told you!!!

Continue reading “Week 318 – A Sensitive No-Go Area, An Itch That Couldn’t Be Scratched And Jesus Body-Popping To ‘My Diane’ (He Nailed It)”
Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 316 – Subservient Pricks, An Unpleasant Repair And Why Steve Was Screaming.

This week some British people have been trying to decide what is fact and what is fiction. That’s a cracker as those who wonder are more than likely to bow and will believe what they’re told, depending on who tells them. Me, I don’t give a cat’s coke.

Continue reading “Week 316 – Subservient Pricks, An Unpleasant Repair And Why Steve Was Screaming.”
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Week 314 – Determination, Crushed Testes And An Acceptable Arc Of Urine.

This week I’d like to discuss not giving up. It’s quite apt as we had a writer not so very long ago advise us that they were giving up since this was now their fourth refusal. That is for them to decide but in the whole scheme of things four refusals isn’t that much. But it’s up to the person and how they feel.

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Week 313 – Speed, Alex O’Hara Was A Knob-End And Trust Me, ‘Old Shep’ Is Worse!

I don’t know why I was wondering how many words a minute I could type. I decided to test myself. I can do around three hundred which I’m led to believe is quite impressive. I was so proud until I found out they all couldn’t be the same word without any spaces. No one appreciates my three hundred ‘a’s.

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Week 312 – True Romance Is Quentin’s Best Work, Alternative Head Cleaning And A Nod To Lives Gone By.

We had Valentine’s Day this week.

If it made you feel all fluffy and unnecessary and gave you inspiration to write a romantic romance to warm the heart, you are welcome to send it hopefully to anywhere else bar us.

(Unless of course it has a sneaky and clever twist that will make us go OOOH – dd)

Continue reading “Week 312 – True Romance Is Quentin’s Best Work, Alternative Head Cleaning And A Nod To Lives Gone By.”
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Week 310 – Fat Larry’s Prediction, Always Yours And Paloma’s Saturday Special.

Not too much nonsense from me as we have that once in a six year thingy that we do – We have a Saturday Special!!

But I’d like to state, this week I’ve lost my ZoomTimeFace Virginity.

I don’t like it. I prefer to talk pish to folks without seeing my huge face looking back at me.

Continue reading “Week 310 – Fat Larry’s Prediction, Always Yours And Paloma’s Saturday Special.”
Latest News, Short Fiction, Writing

Week 309 – Beef Pavlova, The Twelve O’Clock Rule And Kids – Do You Really Know What Snail Mail Is?

Do you ever wonder why you do things?

Me, I contemplate why I throw salt over my shoulder, why I touch my collar and knee every time I see an ambulance, why I touch black when I see a hearse, why I need to close doors, why I need to remove a plate that I’ve finished with, why I work harder than my body allows, why I write these and more importantly why I don’t really kill some folks.

But hey-ho – Most of us are probably in the same boat. Well those of us who have embraced our madness and don’t simply want to talk about it.

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Week 308 – Does Anyone Remember: Old Blind Jack Getting Carried Away By Dwarves? When A Competition Needed To Be Worked At? And Dr Who In A Skirt Before Dr Who Could Wear A Skirt?

Well it’s now Week 308!

I have no inspiration this week so I’ve decided to do something a wee bit different.

I was hoping that I could write some plaudits regarding John Higgins after some of the best snooker I’ve ever seen with his match against Ronnie O’Sullivan in the quarter final of ‘The Masters’ but he was beaten in the final by a twenty year old. (Fair play to Yan Bingtao though! That boy has some bottle!)

It is very writing relative as it is a total play on words. Not the snooker! The thing that is a wee bit different!

Continue reading “Week 308 – Does Anyone Remember: Old Blind Jack Getting Carried Away By Dwarves? When A Competition Needed To Be Worked At? And Dr Who In A Skirt Before Dr Who Could Wear A Skirt?”
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Week 307 – RIP Ron, You Can’t Add To What’s Already Sad And Fill In The Missing Person: Fu Manchu, Dr No, Dr Evil And ???

And following last weeks, Week 306, we now have this weeks, Week 307.

We are proud of our logic and counting ability!

Both myself and Diane love to see new writers submit their work, especially youngsters. They are up against it though as the more life experience you have, the more you can write about a whole range of different topics.

Continue reading “Week 307 – RIP Ron, You Can’t Add To What’s Already Sad And Fill In The Missing Person: Fu Manchu, Dr No, Dr Evil And ???”
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Week 306 – Heed The Guidelines, Tarzan And June And I Nearly Forgot About Tin Machine!

And now we are at Week 306.

Before we start I need to tell you that we’re still being inundated by those who insist on telling us that they are one of those ‘ThemTheys’ or ‘TheysThem’ and we are sick of it. I really could go off on a rant but let’s just say that the voice of reason, Diane, censored me and stopped me calling those who insist on telling us that they are a ThemTheys or ‘TheysThem’ a name that is associated with rhyming slang and an actor who did a coffee advert.

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