Week 606
Another week has gone by. And another week has to be looked at.
And here I am with another pile of pish to annoy you with!!!
My inspiration this week, has been a couple of newspaper stories.
But before we start I’d like to share this.
Again, comments between us made me remember this!! Shit!! Now that I think on it, I better explain – We were discussing Catholicism!!!
Connolly is a total and utter genus!!
I read this week that ‘Hotel California’ was voted the greatest driving song ever. I think that’s a brilliant song, but I beg to differ.
There was also ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ – Brilliant, but not the best ‘Queen’ song and ‘Radar Love’ by ‘Golden Earing’…Maybe a contender???
Probably any ZZTop song or one of my favourites, ‘’The Quo’ could be there…Maybe even ‘Cheap Trick’ or ‘Whitesnake’???
However, It was my brother-in-law who mentioned this one. Years and years, in fact, decades back, I had given George the CD to listen to and I pointed out, ‘Who Do You Want For Your Love’. But he stated that the best driving song ever was this one! I tend to agree! Crank it up before it starts. The beginning is awesome!!!!!!!! I know that I’ve posted this before but what the fuck!! A cracking song should always be highlighted!!!!
How in hell does that wee dweebie looking guy have that voice!!!
…I salute him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something that I read pissed me off. That narrows it down to most of the fucking paper but I enjoy having a reason to rant!
There’s a school in Aberdeen that has decided that they’ll not allow Christmas Cards to be sent out. The kids will send out ‘Winter Cards’. My first point is, in Aberdeen they would need to send out the cards all year round as it’s freezing! John Holmes holidayed there one year and even he would not be seen in Speedos!!!!
A section in the brilliant ‘Boogie Nights’ was based on Holmes and the late great Val Kilmer stared in ‘Wonderland’. That film is also worth a watch.
My second point is that the story stated that it wanted to celebrate diversity. But surely it was ignoring christianity???
I have my problems with all religions, but I hate hypocrisy so you can’t bomb out one to appease another!!!
I read another story that made me think – ‘Only in Scotland!’
There were two folks, in a car, that were pulled over by the Police as they noticed that there was a lamb in the back seat eating a poke* of chips. As they thought this to be a wee bit strange, that was what gave them a reason to stop them. The woman in the passenger seat claimed that she was an apprentice shepherdess. The Coppers had a look around and found, £14,000’s worth of drugs. The lamb wasn’t hurt and was returned to it’s farm. I still don’t know why it was there and why it was eating chips. The cruel part was, with chips, you need a can of Red Cola! (Seek it out folks, if you can find it, you are in for a treat. Oh! Curries Red Cola, not Barrs!!!!)
Oh and the lamb would have been made into chops a few weeks later.
Just a random thought – Does anyone agree that Mr Trump wants to look like a Bald Eagle????
Onto this week’s stories!!!
We had two new writers and three others who I will come to. The newbies…We welcome you and hope that you have fun on the site. And keep writing and keep sending!!
As always, our initial comments follow.
First up was our first new writer, Chaz Osburn with his story, ‘For The Good Of The Company.’
‘This thing is true.’
‘The cynicism is brilliantly relative.’
‘It’s very well done.’
Next up was our own lovely Leila. I’m now needing a wee Chinese kid with an abacus to work out the amount of her stories. (If you are a woke, sensitive cunt…I meant fuck all so get over yourselves and commit suicide!!!!!)
‘When The Railroad Comes’ was the amazing, story number 142 for Leila!!!!!! (I think!! ’cause I aint got a wee Chinese male kid to tote them up – Fucking get over yourselves again!!! I probably did say that to piss you off!! But I do mean – Go and fucking kill yourself!!! To count up her vast amount of stories!!!)
FYI Leila – That was a bastard to punctuate – Thank Diane, as I’m sure she has sorted it!!!!!
On Wednesday we had Robert Reece. This was his third story for us entitled, ‘Minute.’
‘Excellent word play.’
‘I was able to get his mania.’
‘Well, that’s life!!’
Alex Faulkner was next up with his fourth story for us, ‘A Thing About Spiders’.
‘Alex has a genre all of his own.’
‘I love this writer’s individual style,’
‘Excellent. I really enjoy this writer’s imagination’
And we finished off with our last new writer, Danielle Burke and her story ‘Bird.’
‘I like the comeuppance at the end.’
‘This was all about the character.’
‘Really interesting!’
That’s another week over.
Just the usual, sorry to be boring …
But keep on commenting, keep reading and keep submitting!
And please, pretty please, with bells on, say thanks to those folks who comment on your stories.
Just to finish and before some music.
Back to Mr Cowen with a very subtle joke. I asked Leila and she said that there is an equivalent in the states so hopefully this will be relatable???
A slug said to a snail – ‘Want to buy a ‘Big Issue?’
Here’s a song that was played at an old friends funeral last week. We had a lot of heated arguments but I loved and respected the guy. This was his party piece. It normally made me laugh due to its naffness but hearing it at the crematorium destroyed me.
We’ll share another few bottles of Whisky and an argument one day my old friend – RIP Robin!!!!!!!!
*Poke in Scotland means a paper bag!
Image by Ilona Frey from Pixabay – A snail on the grass complete with his house. Very green grass and a snail with a rather battered looking and grubby brown shell.
Hello Hugh
I try to never read these while they are in drafts. Keeps the anxiety level where it should be. Why not let people have Christmas? I really doubt any kid in Aberdeen will be scarred for it. We have an Aberdeen in Washington. It appears that the only thing a town needs to get that name is shitty weather. Trust me, ours has it.
They should hand out retroactive Oscars. Because Val deserved it and he has not even nominated. I do not know who was that year and will look the next time I am not mad enough (which happens sometimes). Thank you for your review of me–I have no idea what my total is. I stopped counting for some reason. I get a weird embarrassment when anything I do can be considered “good” in any context. Most people need positive reinforcement, I shy away from it. Feels unnatural to the crash and thud of my normal life.
Driving songs not so much, but there are albums I will plug in and Parallel Lines by Blondie was for me (I gave up driving when my vision got worse–even though cataract removal fixed that, it did nothing to improve my slowed reflexes. I do not want to kill anyone for the sake of my vanity).
Running Bear is classic. So is Kaw Liga and about ten other songs that have gone the way of Aberdeen Xmas cards. I am going to buy some and send the fucker out in protest! I will send one to that goddamn school! Hah! We all should.
Thank you!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Accept praise as you deserve it!!
‘Parallel Lines’ on tape was one that I bought on the last holiday I ever went with my mum and dad. I was twelve. I also got ‘Rumours’ and ‘Down To Earth’ I still play them all regularly. (CD)
HAH!! Christmas cards – If it wasn’t for the Postcode Lottery, I don’t think we’d get any!!
Thanks as always!!
Hugh
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Hugh
Everyone had Rumours, Boston One in the 70’s including me. I forgot to mention Springsteen is very good for driving, but only at night for some reason. Thunder Road is the best!
Leila
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Oh I was weeping at Billy – what a legend!!!
And another cracking tune – a right singalong number. Thanks Hugh!
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Hi Steven,
Thanks as always!!
We’re spoiled for choice when choosing any of Connolly’s material!
I’m always pleased to read your comments.
Hope life is treating you and yours kindly.
Hugh
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Good post. Forgot all about Running Bear. Good oldie. For diving songs I like early Beatles, Pinball Wizzard, Jean Genie., LaGrange. I like the music more than the driving these days.
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Hi Dave,
You have a good choice of music.
I always hated driving. I think it was because it was something that I had to do but never wanted.
Thanks as always my fine friend, your comments are much appreciated.
Hugh
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Some great clips, Hugh. Hadn’t heard Runnin’ Bear for sixty-odd years, in my memory it’s a contemporary of Cathy’s Clown. I like driving to Dylan’s soundtrack of ‘Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid.’ I can see it’d be a lot more fun playing ‘Understanding Jane,’ but I really need to keep my license!
bw
Mick
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Hi Mick,
It’s weird that there are certain songs that make you want to drive faster!!
And when I hear the shite that the DJs talk, it makes me want to drive faster into a tree!
Thanks as always my fine friend!
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
I would vote for ZZ. That Eliminator video is pretty cool. Which song was it? The roadster and the girls.
Oh I forgot The Doors “Riders on the Storm” officially changed, lol.
I can’t stand the attacks on Christianity–that’s the radical Democrats who got Trump elected. With all the far-out crap that most people dislike. Sex changes for kids… Good God man or woman? The doc will cut your nuts, if they’ve dropped, and give you an abortion on the same day.
Great round up enjoyed your sense of humor as always!
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
I think the ZZ Top song is ‘Legs’ but any of them would be a great driving song.
Tam Cowan once wrote regarding all this sensitive, diversity woke shite, ‘Why does the majority of people listen to the minority?’ I think he has a point!
Thanks as always for your kind words!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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HC
Driving songs is a great topic. One of my favorites is “Drive All Night” by Springsteen. More on the tragic side than the getting-away side and incredibly atmospheric. 46 years after it came out it sounds as fresh now as it did then.
Dale
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Hi Dale,
Regarding Springsteen, we are spoiled for choice!
The only driving song that Gwen played that I hated was one of Jean Michelle Jarre’s – I can’t think on which one as they all sound the same!!
Hope life is being kind to you my fine friend!
Many thanks.
Hugh
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This post and the comments sort of make me feel old! and as you know I am a mere stripling. Back in the day when we used to travel across the Pennines from Liverpool to Bradford, usually in a hired car with my dad driving we would sing. Both my mum and dad had lovely voices and my gran would always insist on Onward Christian Soldiers as we went across the tops. Yes, there are great driving songs but I don’t think anything can beat belting out songs even if, like me, you can’t hit a note for toffee. In the back of coaches on trips later on, quite often coming back from Blackpool with a group of mates we would probably go for The Beatles, Gerry and The Pacemakers etc, well it was the sixties and we were from ‘the pool’. A great post, it has made me quite nostalgic. Thanks Hugh, dd
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Hi Diane,
That’s what I love about music, it’s the memories that mean most to me.
I’ve never been a lyrics guy but where and when I heard a song is what I cherish!
Thanks as always!!
Hugh
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Wow, “Running Bear,” used to play that in a band I was in. Music affect is major, depending on the context. Indeed, everything ends, friends pass away, it’s hard to get a handle on that. Good driving song for me “Riders On the Storm” by the Doors, or “Jubilee Street” by NIck Cave.
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Hi Harrison,
I agree about music.
I don’t understand anyone who states that they only like one type.
Yep, you have mentioned another two driving songs.
Thanks so much for the comments.
I hope life is treating you and yours kindly!!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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Great week of stories. I’ve been to Aberdeen a few times (lived in Dundee for half a year) and I recall going into a pub for a pint, and my wife wanted a coke – scariest drinks order I’ve ever made.
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Hi Paul,
The most humiliating drinks order I’ve ever asked for, was five Sweet Sherries and a Ginger Ale. I was on a day trip with folks from an elderly unit!!
Thanks as always!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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