Moses, Stevie Wonder And A Hundred Pieces Of Pish

Week 146 is a very special posting for me. It’s my hundredth. I started at week 46 so that makes 101 but Nik covered for me when I was on holiday.

It’s strange trying to get your head around the inclusive numbers so that 46-146 is actually 101. It’s like the days of the year, I still can’t work out why we have 365 (Forget the leap years.) There are fifty two weeks and there are seven days in a week so that adds up to 364. It must be a bank holiday that employers don’t tell us about and more importantly, don’t pay us for!

I took over from Adam who is one of our founder members and I really didn’t know what to write about. To be truthful, I still don’t. I wing it and make it up as I go along. Although I try not to write about metaphors.

I worry about whether or not I have dementia or I have just written so much that I’m now repeating myself as I’m forgetting what I’d already posted. I suppose that could be the dementia kicking in. Maybe I’ll forget what a full bladder feels like and start leaking. My old granny was incontinent. Moses himself couldn’t hold back the water that was flooding from her. And my old papa ended up as mad as a bucket of badgers so my genes are frayed. Then if I take into consideration the amount of alcohol that I have consumed, I’m surprised I can walk upright. Well I can’t really at the moment as I have a bastard of a corn. Tangents are something that I have never worried about, I go off on them all the time.

I’ve learnt as I have written and it’s smoother and punctuated more; better” Unfortunately my life is now that boring that I’ve nothing personal to write well about. I’m quite sure that I was me in a previous life and will still be me in the next.

Lately I find myself making a lot of mistakes. My spelling is a bit off these days and I wonder if I am going down that foggy road but I cheer myself up by thinking that it may not be my intellect that is fucked but my co-ordination. That is comforting as it points out a whole lot of different afflictions.

Wasn’t ‘Lately’ a song by Stevie Wonder? I think the lyrics went, ‘Lately I’ve been staring in the mirror…’

…How did he know?

…And what did he think would happen?

I’ve been privileged to write fifty stories for the site and I still have a few ideas that I want to develop.

I had a story about Jesus being in a marble catching contest and he was shite. His team-mates crucified him again for it.

I think there may be a problem with the plot in my story about Gandhi  winning a hot dog eating contest.

And I wanted to write something that would put everyone off of porn for life…’Mother Theresa And The Lepers Tip’ is in the pipeline but as always, I am struggling with description. Let’s be honest, she was a lovely human being but never a looker.

And now for another shit link…As long as I have stories to read from all our wonderful authors, that will keep me going and relatively sane!

OK with that being said, on to the weeks stories.

We showcased two new writers and had three very inventive authors returning.

Our topics include a mysterious hero, a life conductor, a vampire, realisation and the breakdown of a relationship. As always our initial comments follow.

 

On Monday we welcomed our first new writer. RLM Cooper began the week with ‘The Vanishing of M. Renoir‘.

‘This story stayed in perfect style all the way through.’

‘Enjoyable and very well written.’

‘Very tragic subject matter but I was happy to read this.’

 

Dave Henson is a regular commenter on the site. (Hint to all of you who aren’t!) Not only does he help keep the site alive, he is a pleasure to work with. ‘The Maestro In The Baggy Red Sweater‘ was his tenth story for us. (Check out his back catalogue – ‘My Powdered Friend is an absolute cracker!)

‘Cute! And I mean that in the very good way.’

‘I was totally immersed in the story.’

‘Dave continually proves what a skilful story teller he is.’

 

On Wednesday we had a very tenacious writer. Fred Vogel has also been around the site for a long while and is a true gentleman. ‘Stars Burn Out’ is his fourth story for us and every one of them is worth a read!

‘I enjoyed the tone of this with the wry humour and fatalism.’

‘I absolutely loved the first paragraph.’

‘Very dry and the weird circumstance made you think that this could all be true.’

 

We have a couple of authors who have a very dark pen and Ashlie Allen is one of those. Just like Dave, she had her tenth story, ‘Dracula Painting‘ published on Thursday.

‘It’s not a laugh a minute this one!’

‘Ashlie’s themes are normally blood, gore, mental health and wine…All very interesting. And this is another.’

‘I always crave sweetness after reading one of Ashlie’s story.’

 

Our second new author finished off the week on Friday with ‘Beige‘. As with RLM, we welcome Megan Denese Mealor. We hope both ladies enjoy their time on the site and continue to send us more of their work.

‘Dark and desperate and very good.’

‘The voice was cold and calculating all the way through.’

‘Well written and you are taken along with her darkening reasoning and thoughts.’

 

That is the round up well rounded up. And hopefully I will be around for a few more postings.

Life, my fellow editors and all you wonderful writers continually give me inspiration and topics but I sometimes wonder if I have another posting in me. But to be truthful, as long as I don’t think too much, I seem to get there.

All joking aside, it has been an absolute pleasure being involved with all of you, working with the other editors who I now consider very close friends and reading all the stories. I look forward in continuing to do so.

…Unless I become a drooling vegetable, but that is only common sense. (Film reference and relevance, anyone??)

 

Hugh

 

 

8 thoughts on “Moses, Stevie Wonder And A Hundred Pieces Of Pish

    • Thanks Dave,
      I just wish we had an auto-correct for the balls-ups in our lives!!
      It is always a pleasure to hear from you my friend.
      All the very best.
      Hugh

      Like

  1. I echo Mr. Hanson’s congratulations to you, Hugh. Without your witty, insightful views of the world Saturday mornings would be less enjoyable.

    Like

    • Thank you so much Fred,
      Your kind thoughts mean so much to me.
      I have been with Gwen for 33 years so I don’t hear the adjectives witty or insightful very often. In fact there are many phrases that are now alien to me. (You’r right – What does that even mean?!)
      I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

      Like

  2. Congratulations as well from the ever dreary and narcotic and depressing and tipsy Pacific Northwest. I recently thought about performing my 100th lifetime push-up. 76 of these feats of extreme sloth involve pushing my druken ass up off the floor. Odds are, when I get around to it, number 100 will be of the same flavor (as in sawdust, roadhouse floor) Here’s to 200.

    Like

    • Thanks Irene,
      I’ve been lucky, I’ve never been a floor dweller when pished. I don’t even normally stagger. However I find as I get older, alcohol surprises me by effecting me differently every time. For a while now I spontaneously sleep. It gets my working day in but the bosses don’t tend to be enamoured!!
      It is a continual pleasure to see you around the site!
      All the very best.
      Hugh

      Like

    • Thanks so much Nik.
      All of your help and friendship makes doing this a complete pleasure.
      There are maybe only half a dozen things that I have done over two hundred times and If I can add these postings to that list, I would be very proud!
      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s