This is getting close to a mile stone. I’ll tell you about in around four weeks time!
I’ve got an admission to make. There is a reason I thought of this posting but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I’m sure it was a submission.
No matter, I will carry on and it may come to me.
Training. I fucking hate training with a passion.
I’m not so arrogant to say that no-one could tell me anything. But what I would ask is what they do tell me is relevant and unfamiliar.
Apart from a very few exceptions most of my training has been pish and box ticking.
I swear this is true, (Always be wary of folks who swear that something is true unless they point out that fact, in which case, it probably is or the person is very manipulative…You decide! You are intelligent enough to work out which is which!)
I have a certificate on ‘Child Protection’ when I was expecting a seminar on a ‘Matrix Scoring System Regarding Homelessness’ All of us who attended thought the same thing. The poor wee wumin who took the class, signed our certificates anyways and we all went to the pub and talked about none of these issues.
I’m also ‘Stepladder’ trained. I now know how to go up a stepladder. The irony of this is that I can refuse to go up a stepladder so this makes the training somewhat redundant.
I have a ‘Food Hygiene’ certificate which more or less states, ‘Don’t scratch your arse and then make a sandwich’. I knew this but maybe won’t adhere to it if it involves someone I don’t like.
One of the worst training sessions I attended was ‘Reflective Practice’.
…Got it!! The reason for this post is Nik asked us what we thought about multiple follow-on questions within inner dialogue as it irritated him. We discussed it and came to the conclusion if it is too logical it is unlikely to be realistic. So for example someone thinking:
I wonder if she will meet me? And if she does, how should I act? Should I mention the problems that we have been having? And if I do, will this effect any chance of her wanting to see me again?
Now for the sake of the story, this may be very revealing but it just isn’t realistic. I mean just listen to yourself when you try and make sense of anything in your head. You start off with good intentions and then veer off remembering to buy toilet paper, what you are having for dinner and the universal curiosity of what certain people look like naked. You may go back to your original thoughts but these will always be invaded by the inane and ridiculous.
Now talking about inane and ridiculous, the ‘Reflective Practice’ I mentioned is exactly the same. According to what ever self-help, twat of a mindfulness guru prick that came up with it, you should be able to:
Think on what happened.
Think on what you did right.
Think on what you did wrong.
Acknowledge what specific information you had that made you do this.
And come to a conclusion on what you need to do the next time this happens.
…There is not an acknowledgement for a need for toilet paper in this process anywhere. There are no naked next door neighbours. All there is, is a step by step logic that no sane human being could ever follow!!
So if you are writing some inner dialogue, deviate, it’s what we do. We are normally not very PC or appropriate within our own thinking so be brave enough to do this and make it realistic.
OK folks onto this weeks stories. We had three new writers, one old friend and me.
To David Lohrey, Pauline Turner and Richelle Co, we welcome them and hope that they get a kick out of the site. And as always, we request that they continue to send us their work.
Topics included: Time travel, death, jealousy, a rite of passage and bravado.
Our first new writer had their first story published on Monday. David Lohrey began the week with ‘Das Capital.‘
‘A bit of perceptive presumptuous writing.’
‘I really did like the style which went with the ranting.’
‘This is unusual and has an Arthouse feel to it.’
On Tuesday it was me with ‘Going Through The Motions.’ This developed from the first line.
As always I need to thank my fellow editors for their continual help and support. I still get a buzz from seeing my work published and I get more of a buzz if anyone comments.
We had the return of an old friend for the ninth time on Wednesday. Dave Louden’s work is always worth a look. He broke the back of the week with ‘Nostalgia, Inc.‘
‘I always find Dave’s work interesting and brave.’
‘A really good modern take on time travel.’
‘I enjoyed leaving the unanswerable unanswered.’
Thursday saw another new writer. Richelle Co was next up with ‘Initiation.’
‘A light bit of fun.’
‘There is a good tie in to the title.’
‘Even though I had an idea where this was going, it still made me smile.’
We finished off the week on Friday as usual. We should do it Tuesday next week because Friday, I’m sure, has become complacent!
Pauline Turner was our last author of the week with ‘It’s My Funeral.’
‘Some of the touches were very clever.’
‘The ending wasn’t over played which worked very well.’
‘This really did have some charm.’
Our round up is done and dusted. So here’s looking forward to what comes in for next week!
Oh last thing regarding training. I was told that I was going on ‘Assertiveness Training’. I stated that my answer would prove that I didn’t need it. Stupidly they asked me what that answer was and I said with an emphasis ‘FUCK OFF! I’M NOT GOING!!’
They put me on an anger management course instead.
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