Week 118 – Golf, Quidditch And Mrs Doubtfire

Week 118 has been thrust upon us. We had no option but to accept and roll with it!

Another awful link coming up.

If you take away the one from that number, we are left with 18. That means two things to us. One is being the legal age to drink in a pub but that is normally three years too late and the other is the frustration that is golf!

This is US Master’s week and I have my couch booked and my whisky at the ready. I am not working this weekend.

It has been a long time since I last watched the final two rounds. I did have a chance three years back but I went to see my brother-in-law who was just starting a new job. He had been in his old job for thirty odd years so you can appreciate how nervous he was. My visit was to support and encourage…Nope, that’s a lie…I went to wind him up and make him feel worse.

I said that I’d be leaving in an hour as an hours pish ripping is an acceptable amount and I wanted to see the golf. However I was enjoying myself. As the bottle of rum disappeared his plight became more and more hilarious. I either didn’t realise or couldn’t tell the time. So when I got home, the only golf I saw was Bubba Watson lifting up the trophy.

I have so many cracking memories. Seve, Sandy Lyle, Ian Woosnam, Jack Nicklaus in 1986 and the best of them all was when the American crowd shouted at Colin Montgomery and called him ‘Mrs Doubtfire’…That my friends was inspired. Actually I’m not even sure if that was at The Masters but it was still inspired!!

I would never bet or tip as I have as much luck as a politician has integrity but if I had a wish I’d go for Danny Willet having a back to back! (You may understand why I don’t bet!)

If you have been bored with my first few paragraphs I’ve got my point across. (That is the ‘saving face’ excuse number 2000!!)

We have on occasions been sent in submissions with a sporting theme. Most don’t make it. The simple reason being is that a sport is only interesting to those who follow it. The story needs to be taken from that specific into more of a plot with the sport only being a very small part of the back story.

It’s a shame in a way as you can feel the passion and enthusiasm from the writer but unfortunately that is only from them. And this isn’t a slant on any one sport it is them all. Although there are some worse than others.

Anything about cricket is the reading equivalent of swallowing librium. Dressage is all about the OCD from both the rider and the horse. And if anyone thinks it would be a good idea to write a hundred thousand words about Quidditch, please get your partner to assist you with suicide! I’m sorry, that was a bit cruel. You’d never have a partner so just set your book on fire and emulate a phoenix.

I really hope we don’t have a sport story in amongst this lot!!

We don’t. But we do have a hirsute fetish, Mafia Publishing, some observational writing, a larger than life character and some teenage menace. (I think that is a given!)

We are very balanced this week as we have two returning authors and three new writers. To save me repeating myself, we welcome Mary, Nicholas and Leah to our ever-growing family. We hope that they enjoy being part of this and that we see much more of their work.

As always our initial comments follow.

Mary J Breen was published on Monday. ‘Closure‘ was our first story of the week.

‘Very convincing dialogue.’

‘Mary has put together some excellent lines.’

‘Good characters – A world-weary representation of a sad (or not so sad) occasion.’

On Tuesday we had ‘East Of East‘ by Nicholas MacDowell.

‘This is a tricky style done well.’

‘I found this gripping.’

‘The tension was built up throughout.’

Our third new writer in a row was published on Wednesday. ‘I ♥ Burt’ was by Leah Holbrook Sacket.

‘Excellent and unusual.’

‘The shaved chest / cheating line made me laugh.’

‘Weird but I like weird.’

We Love You Flo Haverson‘ was returning author Jeff Blechle’s story which was next up on Thursday.

‘Hilarious.’

‘Some OTT fun.’

‘This is so over the top it is almost a cartoon.’

And as always the end of the week was on Friday. Larry Lefkowitz also had his second story published. ‘The Literary Agent‘ was our final story of the week.

‘This had a pompous tone which suited the main character all the way through the story.’

‘The references were clear to what they were touching on.’

‘The story hits on recognisable traits / jealousies / insecurities about writing.’

That’s us for another week.

By this time next week someone will be wearing a green jacket. I suppose if they wanted to give up golf, they could become a snooker Ninja!

I was going to finish with my favourite golf story but I need to practise what I preach so I won’t bore you. But let’s just say it had something to do with a tin of treacle, a double-jointed lady of the night, a hot air balloon, a dolphin and a sand wedge. (See – Totally boring!!!)

 

Hugh

Banner Image – Pixabay, and for those of us who don’t know – apparently that’s a sand wedge – couldn’t find any treacle and as for double jointed ladies of the night – pfft forget it, none available for comment!!!

5 thoughts on “Week 118 – Golf, Quidditch And Mrs Doubtfire

  1. Gadzooks, waited till after beer o’clock to post comment–Right? Got two sheets up already, but not like last night when it took two hours before my online date proposed marriage–over sharing–Right? Shouldn’t write gacked, mama said. Anyhoo, helluva job ya big lug. Right? L.A.

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  2. I keep intending to write a story about a golf game in heaven. This is an interesting topic but is proving difficult to research. When I ask my golf cronies about it, they say golf in the hereafter is only played in the “other” place. That’s just them whining. My chief questions concern God’s scores. Would He shoot 18? Would He post 59 as a routine score, just to emphasize His omnipotence? Or would He card a less divine, but still tidy number – par, with occasional forays under. In my dream of dreams, he is a 15 handicap with a tendency to slice and like most seniors, a sharp short game.

    The big question: who would he damn when he hit it OB?

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    • There’s one thing, he would never lose a ball. If it went into the water, he could send the boy to retrieve it!!!
      You have now given me something to ponder. What score would God card? It would be very funny if he was really bad and carded three sixes in a row.
      Thanks Mitch, you made me smile.
      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

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