Tag: writing

Editor Picks, General Fiction, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 486: Beware of the Amazing Bogey-Duck

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(As for the image, Elliot is on vacation this week)

Maybe I’m Amazed

I live by the water–by name, the Puget Sound, a cold and unforgiving northern sea connected to the Pacific Ocean; abundant with life, ghosts and sources of amazement. When I was small I’d amaze myself with the idea that I could get in a row boat anywhere on the Sound and proceed to China without having to touch land once. I dismissed a nagging voice that informed me that I’d likely drown long before reaching the Strait of Juan de Fuca; nagging voices are for grown ups. And although I’ve dealt with the Sound in one way or another nearly everyday of my life, I do not know how to swim beyond the sort of “floating stroke” peculiar to corpses. Cold northern seas will kill an unprotected Olympic swimmer just as fast as any non-aquatic type of person; thus the skill is as futile as wearing an asbestos suit for a walk on the sun. But the sea and surroundings are excellent places to spice up reality through what I like to call “self amazement.”

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All Stories, Editor Picks, General Fiction, Short Fiction

Week 484: Omens and Owomens of the Superstitious World; A Week of Good Works; The Latest Ten on the Unsteady Jukebox (Part Three)

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Every night I sit here and bring submissions aboard. Although necessary and the soul of this undertaking, the “hi-how-are-ya” task gets redundant after a while, especially when there are twenty or so waiting. All that politeness and language watching is alien to my being and sometimes I will send a unique reply that either proves that I am not an AI, or if I were one that maybe a refund should be asked for from the Robot Store.

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Fantasy, Humour, Short Fiction

Fairytale of Saragun Springs By Leila Allison

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When a species becomes extinct on Earth, a male and female of the kaput species are secretly stored in the fantasy multiverse, and live and multiply serenely until it is time for their Big Comeback. A sort of reversed, time-released Ark concept. Such is the case with two Passenger Pigeons named Kirsty and Shane. Both are well over a hundred years old because there’s no such thing as permanent death in fantasy realms. No one around here looks too hard into the Why and How of the thing because that might lead to belief in an “Ineffable Hand” and the inevitable buzz-killing, organized religion start-up, which no one wants in a realm where “Do What Thou Wilt” sums up one’s daily To Do list.

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Week 482: Remembering Jon Brower Minnoch; Five Acts of Daily Goodness; the A to Z of Slang and Catchphrases

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Jon Brower Minnoch (1941-1983) was, and remains, the heaviest known human being ever to live (according to Guiness). He topped out at 1400 pounds ( a hundred stone in the UK). He holds many weight related records including the most pounds lost (900 plus) and the greatest weight difference between husband and wife (1300). Mr. and Mrs. Minnoch had two children, which is testament to both the determination of life and a prime example of something I’d rather not consider too deeply.

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Week 480: Tabby Rasa and Cat Commandements

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Tabula rasa, the blank slate, has taken a new meaning in the courtyard. One recent morning I left for work and saw a Red Cat of maybe four months in a window. Almost indigestibly cute, he was a war with the window shade and was, judging by the bent to hell slats, winning a decisive battle.

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Editor Picks, Short Fiction

Week 478: We Keep Playing Them Word Games Forever

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Roughly speaking, there are more than six-hundred thousand words in the English language (minus the stuff you see on medicine jar labels). The average English speaker’s vocabulary is between twenty and thirty-five thousand words. Anyone can contribute new words to the language; Mr Shakespeare added seventeen-hundred now commonly used words on his own. But with so many words, it is inevitable that some of the juicier ones are often overlooked. (Quick disclaimer–the obviously googled numbers produced many results–I selected the sanest looking source to quote.)

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auld author, Short Fiction

Auld Author – Katherine Mansfield by Leila

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The Collected Short Stories of Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923) is available on Kindle for next to nothing. She was from New Zealand and is yet another scribe whom TB scythed early.

I’m rather tired of reading “a person of his/her times.” Who isn’t? Goddam unfounded superior attitude in my mind. Anyway, all times are pretty much the same–bullshit and power rule and people must conceal their true selves or risk expulsion from their tribes. Social media is just another form of the grapevine. Anyway, Katherine Mansfield was attracted to women and was smart enough not to make that lead news in the nineteen-teens and twenties, yet she was brave about such in her work.

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All Stories, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 474: The Quest; Five Stars; Little Lists

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Quest

No one calls in requests to radio stations anymore. No one there to answer the phone if they did. Even if you could, I really doubt that “I dunno what it is called, but I saw a Lexus shaking to it at a stop sign this morning” would jog many happy memories. Besides, no need. It’s all there for the picking and would have to be awfully damn obscure if it isn’t found someplace online. I miss doing my own detective work. I miss it the same way I miss the death of off seasons and the way nothing used to happen on Sunday–before the world acquired a similarity to supermax prison cells, in which the lights are on 24 hours a day.

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auld author

Auld Author – Mark Frankland – The Cull–Hugh Cron

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This book means a lot to me.

Fuck knows how long ago it was when I read it.

It’s reasonably local as it is based in Dumfries which is around sixty miles from my door. I’ve spent many a time there through work.

This story touches on drug use and the dealers whose types I’ve had to deal with. It also explains a bit more on how young professionals got hooked on heroin early eighties. They used it to come down from the eccies so that they could continue their professions.

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Editor Picks, General Fiction, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 472: Where Have You Gone Darby Crash? Punk Bed Fiasco and Not All That Irritates Makes a Pearl

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Whether it Be Curbing or Kerbing, Nothing Vomits Sweeter Than Stolen Beer

Society has been going to hell since the invention of the Good Old Days. Funny thing there–because it’s true and yet there are new Good Old Days rolling out of the Good Old Days Factory constantly. A Paradox, until you remember that New People are being produced at even a greater frequency.

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