All Stories, General Fiction

In the Land of the Salamander by Harrison Kim

I’m chopping wood with Norbert. We chop in man bikinis, on Catfish beach.  I consider the meaning of life as my axe head cracks into the wedge that splits the stump.  I’m here as part of the “Campfire Quartet” reality TV show.  Our mission today is to create and mime a song, yet also to show off our other attributes, which for me include long hair and axe whacking.

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All Stories, Humour

Car Crash Television by Nik Eveleigh

…you can actually taste the friction Dimitri.

Stu shook his head and stared, unnoticed at his iPad surfing wife. “Did you hear that Jen? They can actually taste the friction.”

“Hmm…that’s nice love.”

“I suppose they’d know that sort of thing what with it being a cooking show and all, but actually tasting friction? I can’t even begin to contemplate what friction would taste like. OK that’s not true, I imagine it tastes pretty similar to sticking one of those nine volt Duracells on your tongue when you were nine and stupid but that isn’t the point.”

“I expect so love.”

“You’re not even listening to me are you? I could say whatever I wanted right now and you wouldn’t hear a word of…come to think of it it’s probably more like sucking on wet wool.”

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