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Editor Picks, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 468: Personal Preference; A Week of Preferred Works and the Fictional Pet Department

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Tastes

I find that I have a narrow spectrum when it comes to reading material. Along with fiction I like non-fiction written by good writers– biographies by David McCollough are a fine example. I never read “celebrity autobiography” and consider the purchase of such a capital offense. The good thing about books is that you can get a feel for them by reading the first couple of pages (forget the blurbs on the cover). Hardly can ask to watch the first five minutes of a film before deciding to buy a ticket or not.

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Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 467 – Why Not Try Brain Surgery, News And I Love The Daily Record.

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Well here we go again, another week, another round-up.

We’re very busy with those who are still trying to hang onto their New Year’s resolution but we know that come the middle of February, most will give up.

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Week 466: Greatness Schmerateness; Five New Stories and Dueling Old Lists

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When I was in high school A Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin was considered the greatest rock song (greatest as in “progressive”–whose heyday was from the mid-sixties through the mid-seventies). Anyway, that’s what the guys on the FM radio said. At the start of this month (fifty years later, on the station that’s always playing where I work) Seattle’s “Home of Classic Rock,” KZOK, again voted it number one (narrowly edging out Bohemian Rhapsody, which finished second for the fifth year in a row). For the record, the Queen song is truly an innovative thing–it blew minds when it came around in 1976; and to be honest, I have always disliked Stairway. Fairly or otherwise I associate it with the slacker in an army coat who stank of weed and sat behind me in Social Studies class. He always fell asleep and I had to whack him on the head with exam papers when it was time to pass them back. A minor annoyance in my life, yet I have yet to forget it.

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Week 465 – Colonel Jessup Said It Best, You Don’t Want To Be Able To Hide In Budgie-Smugglers And ‘R’ Will Always Be Their Favourite Letter.

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Here we are at Week 465.

I honestly think that January seems to be one of the longest months in the year. It drags on for ever. It is like the two minutes is to a cat when it’s food bowl is empty.

I know we don’t advocate talking animals but this little section emphasises my point:

‘It has been thirty seconds since I had food. The human is pretending to wash my dish whereas I know that they truly mean to starve me to death. I feel the life force draining from me. If I do survive this day, I shall make them pay. I will be as vocal as my weakened state allows until this matter is resolved or more likely, I die. These may be the last thoughts of me ‘Satan-Shoe Shitter!’

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Editor Picks, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 464: Happily Never After and Antisocial People Have Feelings Too

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Happily Never After

I cannot help but knock feel good fiction. It reminds me of Heaven, which no one has ever described to my satisfaction. From what I have seen, Heaven looks like an eternal installment of Songs of Praise (I thought the USA had a monopoly in the department of hokey religious programming, but the UK has once again exposed my ignorance).

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Week 462: Rule 17; Necessary Words; A to Z of Needless Words

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Well here we are, the holidays behind us, in a brand spanking New Year, which, in my eyes, already looks as fresh as a recently widowed elderly French rent boy cruising the cafes in search of a breathing benefactor. But to those of you who insist on at least benign, if not kind or P.C. expressions–well, happy new year to you and many more I am sure.

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Week 459 – Love Affair Never Meant Tacky Merchandise, Is Basic Teaching Extinct And Ewan Links Two Souls Again.

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Christmas is just around the corner and there is something that I want to ask.

I suppose I need to put in some sort of waver:

I, Hugh Cron have no thoughts either way but am interested to see if anyone has any comments.

Let me explain.

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Editor Picks, General Fiction, Latest News, Short Fiction

458: Personality Issues; Beautiful Losers and Winners

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Personality

Hypocrisy and altruism stop at roughly the same point in a person. Although finally copping to your own rottenness and experiencing exhaustion at the highest level of do-goodishness you are capable of are not the same thing, both terminate close enough to the center of a person to form a picture.

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Week 453 – FIENDALS (The spelling is for you Gwen), Eric Is A Legend And I Should Have Mentioned A Tattie Scone.

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I did the Scottish translation thing a few weeks back and I had forgot to add in a certain phrase.

With these, some have some logic. For example,

‘Did you bring a piece’

Some of our friends in America would probably think we were asking if you had brought a gun, but no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. You see ‘A piece’ is actually a packed-lunch or a sandwich. The logic part is it comes from ‘A piece of bread and butter / cheese / jam / cheese and jam (A hidden delight I have mentioned before. It must be a red jam and it is even more delicious if the bread is toasted.)

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Week 451 – Marvin / Scott – Which One Deserves The Plaudits, RETIRE!! – JUST FUCKING RETIRE!! And Rickie Bell’s Karaoke Extravaganza!

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Well here we go again and by fuck this might be random.

I loved when a kid who I worked with in the hostels used that word in a way that I had never heard.

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