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Week 453 – FIENDALS (The spelling is for you Gwen), Eric Is A Legend And I Should Have Mentioned A Tattie Scone.

I did the Scottish translation thing a few weeks back and I had forgot to add in a certain phrase.

With these, some have some logic. For example,

‘Did you bring a piece’

Some of our friends in America would probably think we were asking if you had brought a gun, but no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. You see ‘A piece’ is actually a packed-lunch or a sandwich. The logic part is it comes from ‘A piece of bread and butter / cheese / jam / cheese and jam (A hidden delight I have mentioned before. It must be a red jam and it is even more delicious if the bread is toasted.)

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Week 451 – Marvin / Scott – Which One Deserves The Plaudits, RETIRE!! – JUST FUCKING RETIRE!! And Rickie Bell’s Karaoke Extravaganza!

Well here we go again and by fuck this might be random.

I loved when a kid who I worked with in the hostels used that word in a way that I had never heard.

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Week 450: Halloween Memories and Horror Heroes

The Caramel Apple Orchard

Although I will probably have another Saturday post closer to Halloween, it is on my mind now. And since all my other current ideas have the charm of razor bladed apples, I will go with the cheerier topic.

When I was growing up Halloween was mainly for kids, but over the years it has been taken over by The Failure to Launch Generation. I was one of those children who put next to no effort into a costume. I was goods oriented; people were giving out candy no matter how shoddy I looked. So I’d get one of those cheap witch masks (the kind that always got sweaty and smelled like a runny nose after about a half hour of wearing), don a dark blanket for a cape and carry a whisk broom, which inevitably went missing early. The sack was the important thing. And I took the biggest one I could find–usually a pillow case.

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Week 449 – I Was A ‘Look At Me Hoor’ (I’m So Sorry!), The Literally Equivalent Of Pi And Lost In Translation, Or More’s To The Point, ‘Lost Initially’!!

Before we start I have to apologise for my Q&A session last week. I did something that I never do directly – I self-promoted, not just one, but two stories.

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WEEK 448- Bulking Up; Another Fine Week; Annoying TV Characters

Andy

Now that it is officially autumn, Andy and Alfie the Feral Cats are bulking up for winter. Well, actually only Andy, because Alfie is already beefy as it is. He’s a rarity, a Feral Cat who has a double chin. Andy, however, changes his body type with the season. During the warm months he sheds his long coat and becomes lean and ripples with muscles. Come September he begins eating twice his normal amount and by the time November rolls around he looks like a fuzzy Tapir.

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Week 443 – Ben Lamech sounds Scottish, ‘Please Can We Call It A Tallywacker’ And He Sang On ‘Down To Earth’

My brother-in-law has decided to retire at Christmas.

I have asked him over the last few years why he hasn’t given up already and he stated that he was terrified that he would be bored. That got me thinking why I would retire tomorrow if I could and that is because I am the opposite of George – I’m fucking bored at my work!

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Week 441-Egg Mayonnaise To Mourn To, Mary’s Flying Baby And I Loved His Wee Trike.

If I was to believe the stereotypes on TV I’d be very jealous of the Americans. You see, most times I have watched anything from a Comedy to a Thriller, most Americans are portrayed as hard working folks who strive to be the best at their work and are never happiest until they are happy at work.

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Week 439 – Sorry For The Self-Indulgence, Sorry Again And Back To More Hate And Fanging Next Time!

Believe it or not, throughout my postings I try and add a wee bit of writing content within. It may even be tips for submission / acceptance / rejection but there is normally something there.

For this one, which may seem a bit self-indulgent, I want to explore the things we won’t write. (Or in my case talk about, that is why I’m writing this!)

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