Dirty Glass by Hugh Cron – Adult Content

“Dirty glass…Fuck!”

…The first time that Martin had really focused on a dirty glass was decades back, in another one of his lifetimes. He’d had a few lifetimes and each had caused him a different level of grief.

Martin thought back to that morning at 8.00am, when he had been told that he had to check on a property. He found that depressing, fuck all was said about checking on the resident, no, he had to check on the property.

He pulled up beside the row of Maisonettes and sighed as he saw that the main entrance door was hanging off its hinges. He headed into the building. It always made him laugh that this was a building that you had to go inside, to go upstairs, to then go outside to get to the front door. He rattled the door. He could hear some mumbling and drunken giggles, “I hope that’s a lovely lady with nice tits!!”

Martin smiled at the giggling.

“The only way you’ll see any tits is if you have a look around the room! They’ll no be nice though!”

The door opened, “…Martin!! How you doing, son?”

“Jimmy. Will you ask me in or do I need to tell you that you need to let me in?”

The big fellow with the unruly beard and puffa jacket nodded and pointed into his living room.

“You’re always welcome here, son.”

Martin held his hand up to the two men sitting at the table. “Ah, The usual suspects! Lenny, Cobe, how’s it going?”

“Did you bring a carry-oot?”

“Or some women?”

“No! And Hell NO!!”

Jimmy joined them at the table, “Do want a wee hauf son?”

Martin sat down on the arm chair, “No you’re fine, I haven’t had my jags this year!

…Look, you know why I’m here. Jimmy, you can’t have, for want of a better word, guests at your house over-night, you know that.”

“But we’ve no been to sleep.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Do you want us to go? It’s cold out”

Martin looked over at the two long faces and at the booze on the table.

…“The best I can do is give you to lunch time, that’s when I’ll be back in the office. I’ve to report to the hierarchy…” He thought for a second, “I’ll tell them that you were here this morning but you stated that you didn’t sleep here last night and that there was a just opened bottle of cider. So boys if you want another couple of hours in the heat, well sort of, get all those empties out of sight.”

Cobe got up and shook his hand, “Thanks son! ‘Moan Lenny, we’ll get these.”

“Thanks Martin, you know they’ve nowhere to go.”

“I know, but there are two issues here, one, you could lose your house and more scary for you, I could get my fucking arse kicked.”

“Play the game Jimmy. Keep the place tidy. Always have it looking that your guests, I say that loosely, are just in. Don’t annoy the fucking neighbours as they will dob you in every-time. Give nobody any reason to focus on you.”

“Thanks son, I will. I mean look at those two fucking muppets tidying up! You should come over more often.”

Martin nodded, “That table is looking better already.”

Lenny finished emptying the plate that they were using as an ashtray.

“Jimmy, have you any polish?”

“Naw we drank that at four this morning!”

He laughed as Martin began to say something, “Only kidding! Nope, I’ve no.”

Lenny took out a hanky from his pocket, “I’ll use a wee drop of the cider.”

“Will you fuck! Get some water from the tap.”

“That’s a lot better.”

Martin looked around the house. Apart from the remnants of their session, which was now more or less cleared, Jimmy had kept it quite well.

“Jesus Fuck gentlemen, look at your glasses! They’re fucking minging! How did they get in that state?” Martin pointed to the three glasses that sat on the carpet where they’d been sitting.

“Well, we all had a glass of milk last night when the heartburn kicked in and we all had a glass of orange this morning for breakfast…Mind you, there was a measure of White Lightning in it.”

“Can you no rinse them?”

“I will, when we’ve finished drinking…Only three glasses mind, no hunners lying everywhere, see I’ve been listening to what you’ve said.”

“I’d strongly suggest that you wash them…Jesus, you might need a couple of Brillo-Pads!”

Martin stood up, “Okay lads, keep your heads down and watch yourselves.”

Jimmy held his hand out, “Thanks son, you’re one that sees…A wee quick hauf before you go?”

“I’d love to. I’ve got another two days to do in the office and that might take the edge off of doing that shit but no thanks!”

…

Martin wondered if Jimmy, Lenny and Cobe were still alive?

He wondered if in twenty years he’d still be alive?

The alarm from his phone brought him back to the present.

Martin leaned forward, sighed and clawed at his head. After a few seconds he picked up his wallet from the table and put it into his pocket. He looked at the time and knew he had to leave for work.

He poured out the last of his Vodka and toasted Jimmy, Lenny and Cobe and drank from his own dirty glass.

Hugh Cron

Image: One gin, one vodka and one wine bottle empty and cast aside in a heap.