Week 588 – Has America Enough Tennents? You’ll Need More…Seriously, Import more!!!

Well here we are at Week 588.

I was going out on Tuesday to a swanky restaurant and I thought about wearing a tie. Not just a tie, I’ve been in trouble for doing that before. I realised that apart from weddings and funerals, I only think about wearing a tie but never do. I think a tie is smart. I have quite a few. I’ve lost three stunning black ones due to loaning them to people for funerals.

I know that some folks wear their University Ties as a status symbol. I’ve never done that for two reasons. First off, I didn’t go to University and secondly, I am forced on them, depending on what shirt they come free with from Primark!

I’m so glad that the Football World Cup is beginning. As you read this, The Tartan Army will already be invading Boston! I just hope that the American president doesn’t take that as an act of aggression!! If anyone meets any of them, don’t go pint for pint with them, they will slaughter you!!

We start off by playing Haiti. To level up any disadvantage that we have, our players have been learning the art of making wax dolls. But we are a childish nation and I’m sure that every doll that has been made, there will have been a penis added somewhere. And for those dolls with large penises, I can guarantee that the likeness will have been of our own players sculpted by them themselves!! And a prick through the prick will be a right of passage!!!!

Just before the review of this week’s stories, I want to play you my favourite Dylan song – Well, it’s probably a joint winner with, ‘The Man In The Long Black Coat.’

Okay, the week that was had one new writer, one for the fourth time, one for the fifth time, a twenty seconder and Leila, who has now reached story 140!! (I need to add more beads to my abacus!)

As always our initial comments follow.

First up was MJ Burns who was our only new writer this week. We welcome them, hope they have fun on the site and more importantly, continue to send us in their work. (I’m not, all of a sudden, becoming PC! I genuinely don’t know much about this writer.)

‘Should Be Seen And Not Heard’ got the week off to a fine start.

‘A grim ending.’

‘A bit spooky.’

‘Very well written.’

On Tuesday we had our brilliant fellow editor Leila with, ‘Simply Sinsational.’

‘Well, this was a lot of fun.’

‘I did enjoy the fight against the word count, that became part of the story.’

‘It’s always impressive to realise your memory for back story.’

The gentleman that is Matias Travieso – Diaz broke the back of the week with his fourth story entitled, ‘The Call Of The Bacchante’.

‘A bit different from Matias.’

‘It’s always a pleasure when Matias is showcased.’

‘His writing is always excellent.’

Christopher Ananias is not only a prolific writer, his support of the site and the writers on it is much appreciated.

‘My Little Dump.’ was story number twenty two for Christopher.

‘Grim and graphic and all good!’

‘I imagine that killers often have their own clumsy little fiascos.’

‘Very well presented as expected.’

And we finished off the week with ‘Hell’ which was Michael Smith’s fifth story for us.

‘I can relate to Michael’s version of hell.’

‘It’s great to see this one through.’

‘I’ve been stuck in a few meetings where time moved backwards!’

That’s us for another week folks.

Keep reading, keep writing, be kind to the wee beasties of the world and if you get a chance, kick a politician. And please, have the good grace to say, ’Thanks’ to anyone who has commented on your work.

Oh talking about a politician, I have to mention that our ex-first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, didn’t think that she would be able to travel to America for the world cup. However her plans changed and she will be there. She has just realised that there was a Boeing 747 parked at the side of her mother-in-laws house. (That might not translate to anyone outside the UK unless they have a weird interest in the sham that is Scottish politics!!)

Just before some more music, I want to let you know about one of those silly answers to a quiz show question type scenario. Some, no matter how stupid, you can see the logic, like this one, which is probably quite sweet in a way: (Fuck!! I don’t use ‘sweet’ much unless I’m talking about taste!)

Q. – In what month does a woman begin to show that she is pregnant?

A. – September

But this is befuddling!!!!

Q. – What word beginning with the letter A can show possession, omission of a letter or the plural.

A. – Apple.

That did make me giggle. Sometimes, a simple, ‘I don’t know’ is the best way to go!!!

Oh and if anyone is thinking, ‘That’s correct’, don’t tell anyone!!!!

I want to finish with a type of music I’m not that fond of but I love this. I can forgive ‘Pink Floyd’ but some of their early stuff really does go on. Actually, not just their early stuff. I was given ‘The Wall’ for my birthday in June 1979 and after I had listened to it, it was Christmas!!!

Now that I have written that, I wondered where Pink Floyd’s name came from?? According to the ever believable Wikipedia, they were initially called ‘The Tea Set.’…Whit a stupid fucking name!!! They found themselves at a gig where another band was also called, ‘The Tea Set’…Are you fucking kidding me??

Anyhow, Syd Barrett put together two names of Blues singers that he loved (Pink Anderson and Floyd Council and came up with ‘Pink Floyd.) This is probably very unpolitical correct but ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’ was written by the other band members about Syd.

Oh! Back to the genre of music that I was referencing before I took off on my Pink Floyd tangent! I’m talking about Prog-Rock. I may be wrong but I reckon that most fans of this music will bore the mammary glands off of you talking about their love for Real Ale!!

I first heard this in a very under-rated film called ‘Crimes Of Passion’ Kathleen Turner was stunning, Annie Potts, equally so and Anthony Perkins was Radio! (Sorry – Radio is short for Radio-Rental which is rhyming slang for mental!!)

The music throughout is as wonderfully weird as the film!!! The amazing Scottish singer Maggie Bell did the vocals. (If you get a chance to check it out, do so.)

Hugh

Image: Tennent Caledonian Wellpark Brewery by Thomas Nugent, CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons – A wall tiled with a depiction of the history of the brewery including people, trucks, trays of drin and peronalities.