Well here we are at Week 588.
I was going out on Tuesday to a swanky restaurant and I thought about wearing a tie. Not just a tie, I’ve been in trouble for doing that before. I realised that apart from weddings and funerals, I only think about wearing a tie but never do. I think a tie is smart. I have quite a few. I’ve lost three stunning black ones due to loaning them to people for funerals.
I know that some folks wear their University Ties as a status symbol. I’ve never done that for two reasons. First off, I didn’t go to University and secondly, I am forced on them, depending on what shirt they come free with from Primark!
I’m so glad that the Football World Cup is beginning. As you read this, The Tartan Army will already be invading Boston! I just hope that the American president doesn’t take that as an act of aggression!! If anyone meets any of them, don’t go pint for pint with them, they will slaughter you!!
We start off by playing Haiti. To level up any disadvantage that we have, our players have been learning the art of making wax dolls. But we are a childish nation and I’m sure that every doll that has been made, there will have been a penis added somewhere. And for those dolls with large penises, I can guarantee that the likeness will have been of our own players sculpted by them themselves!! And a prick through the prick will be a right of passage!!!!
Just before the review of this week’s stories, I want to play you my favourite Dylan song – Well, it’s probably a joint winner with, ‘The Man In The Long Black Coat.’
Okay, the week that was had one new writer, one for the fourth time, one for the fifth time, a twenty seconder and Leila, who has now reached story 140!! (I need to add more beads to my abacus!)
As always our initial comments follow.
First up was MJ Burns who was our only new writer this week. We welcome them, hope they have fun on the site and more importantly, continue to send us in their work. (I’m not, all of a sudden, becoming PC! I genuinely don’t know much about this writer.)
‘Should Be Seen And Not Heard’ got the week off to a fine start.
‘A grim ending.’
‘A bit spooky.’
‘Very well written.’
On Tuesday we had our brilliant fellow editor Leila with, ‘Simply Sinsational.’
‘Well, this was a lot of fun.’
‘I did enjoy the fight against the word count, that became part of the story.’
‘It’s always impressive to realise your memory for back story.’
The gentleman that is Matias Travieso – Diaz broke the back of the week with his fourth story entitled, ‘The Call Of The Bacchante’.
‘A bit different from Matias.’
‘It’s always a pleasure when Matias is showcased.’
‘His writing is always excellent.’
Christopher Ananias is not only a prolific writer, his support of the site and the writers on it is much appreciated.
‘My Little Dump.’ was story number twenty two for Christopher.
‘Grim and graphic and all good!’
‘I imagine that killers often have their own clumsy little fiascos.’
‘Very well presented as expected.’
And we finished off the week with ‘Hell’ which was Michael Smith’s fifth story for us.
‘I can relate to Michael’s version of hell.’
‘It’s great to see this one through.’
‘I’ve been stuck in a few meetings where time moved backwards!’
That’s us for another week folks.
Keep reading, keep writing, be kind to the wee beasties of the world and if you get a chance, kick a politician. And please, have the good grace to say, ’Thanks’ to anyone who has commented on your work.
Oh talking about a politician, I have to mention that our ex-first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, didn’t think that she would be able to travel to America for the world cup. However her plans changed and she will be there. She has just realised that there was a Boeing 747 parked at the side of her mother-in-laws house. (That might not translate to anyone outside the UK unless they have a weird interest in the sham that is Scottish politics!!)
Just before some more music, I want to let you know about one of those silly answers to a quiz show question type scenario. Some, no matter how stupid, you can see the logic, like this one, which is probably quite sweet in a way: (Fuck!! I don’t use ‘sweet’ much unless I’m talking about taste!)
Q. – In what month does a woman begin to show that she is pregnant?
A. – September
But this is befuddling!!!!
Q. – What word beginning with the letter A can show possession, omission of a letter or the plural.
A. – Apple.
That did make me giggle. Sometimes, a simple, ‘I don’t know’ is the best way to go!!!
Oh and if anyone is thinking, ‘That’s correct’, don’t tell anyone!!!!
I want to finish with a type of music I’m not that fond of but I love this. I can forgive ‘Pink Floyd’ but some of their early stuff really does go on. Actually, not just their early stuff. I was given ‘The Wall’ for my birthday in June 1979 and after I had listened to it, it was Christmas!!!
Now that I have written that, I wondered where Pink Floyd’s name came from?? According to the ever believable Wikipedia, they were initially called ‘The Tea Set.’…Whit a stupid fucking name!!! They found themselves at a gig where another band was also called, ‘The Tea Set’…Are you fucking kidding me??
Anyhow, Syd Barrett put together two names of Blues singers that he loved (Pink Anderson and Floyd Council and came up with ‘Pink Floyd.) This is probably very unpolitical correct but ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’ was written by the other band members about Syd.
Oh! Back to the genre of music that I was referencing before I took off on my Pink Floyd tangent! I’m talking about Prog-Rock. I may be wrong but I reckon that most fans of this music will bore the mammary glands off of you talking about their love for Real Ale!!
I first heard this in a very under-rated film called ‘Crimes Of Passion’ Kathleen Turner was stunning, Annie Potts, equally so and Anthony Perkins was Radio! (Sorry – Radio is short for Radio-Rental which is rhyming slang for mental!!)
The music throughout is as wonderfully weird as the film!!! The amazing Scottish singer Maggie Bell did the vocals. (If you get a chance to check it out, do so.)
Image: Tennent Caledonian Wellpark Brewery by Thomas Nugent, CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons – A wall tiled with a depiction of the history of the brewery including people, trucks, trays of drin and peronalities.
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
The World Cup has come local, just twelve miles from here in Seattle, six matches will get played. I won’t be going because a ticket would cost a month’s rent. Another thing taken by the rich.
Great clips. Not much for prog rock because it is so pretentious. There I said it. No Floyd, no Rush no ELP no none of it. I see them as a bunch of college boys playing E=MC2 chords on guitar. Strangely, it was the stuff I heard at most keggers. I like some songs, but the mystic nonsense and half hour drum solos do not please me. But Dylan is great. I think what happens with prog is nihilism sucks the emotion out of their souls. I dunno. Maybe it is me.
Ah yes, stupid game show replies. The Newlywed Game has the best.
Q: “Donna, where is the oddest place you two made whoopie?”
Donna (after embarrassed pause) “Um, in the butt.”
Only in America baby, only in America
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Just heard from my nephew who is in Boston. He stated, ‘Had to sleep for ten hours…Been drunk for thirty six!’
I watched America early hours this morning – They played really well. They had an excellent first half and looked good!!
Mentioning College Boys and music, I watched an interview with Gary Kemp, (Him and the stunningly handsome Martin Kemp, who is his brother, were in Spandau Ballet) he stated that it was the ‘New Romantics’ who were from the estates and working class, the Punks were the privileged!
Yep I heard that answer before. I wondered if there could be a worse one and I thought of ‘On-top of my dead gran’
That’s another episode of The Waltons that wasn’t shown!!!!!
Thanks as always!!
Hugh
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Hugh
Yeah, I saw 4-1 for the boys. They usually don’t score that many in the tournament. The funny thing (well I guess it makes some sense), is there is much more fan Heat for Mexico (at least from what I’ve seen) than the US. But it will be cool if they have a good run, maybe to the eight or so.
Oh, yeah, that dumb gal’s reply is pretty much all over. And the one thing Spandau mentioned reminds me of how the Beatles were actually from much tougher circumstances than the Stones. I heard some older rock star say that–I think it was Lemmy.
Good luck to your Nephew–I admire his tenacity. And good luck to Scotland!
Leila
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Hi Hugh
I can’t remember the last time I wore a tie. I probably felt like ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man…Stick pin…
I’m not into football (or soccer)–not even sure what to call it. Probably something else I missed out on like Hockey. I may even have the wrong sport all together.
The Tea Set is definitely a lame name glad there were two of them, and not glad.
Fun and interesting post! Thanks for the shout out!
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
Thanks for your thanks!!
Yep, I only wear ties at funerals and I’m old enough now to leave the top button of my shirt undone. (With the expanding girth of my neck, I have to!)
Football is something we grew up with. As I said to Leila, my nephew is there. I am a bit jealous as it is something that I would love to have seen. I did ask his dad what would happen if Scotland got through to the next round and he said, ‘I reckon Justine will leave him!’ I haven’t a clue how he has funded his trip??? (And know better than to ask!)
Regarding lame names, I think that Abba’s original name translated to ‘The Engaged Couples’ – No excuse for that one!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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An entertaining post. I didn’t get either riddle…couldn’t get to the “core” of them. That’s also one of my favorite Dylan songs. Annie Potts has turned up on TV over here on a remake of Doc Martin. The wonderful Martin Clunes even made a guest appearance. The remake is decent, but the original was one of the best TV shows ever.
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Hi Dave,
Sorry but your ‘core’ joke didn’t apeel to me!!!
I think I should apologise again.
I have a wee attraction to Miss Potts! From young to the more mature, she has been stunning.
I’ve never watched Doc Martin. Martin Clunes is excellent in everything that he has done. If you haven’t seen it, ‘A Mother’s Son’ is excellent. Plot wise, it’s quite similar to the excellent ‘Adolescence’ with the amazing Stephen Graham.
I think it was you who mentioned ‘Inside Number Nine’?? I followed the advice and am six series in. Weird, mad, touching and sometimes brutal – I love it!
And last recommendation if you haven’t seen it – ‘I Swear’ Forget about the controversy around it, it’s simply brilliant!!! It’s the saddest but most uplifting film I’ve seen since ‘Big Fish’
Thanks as always my fine friend, your continual interaction humbles me!!!!
Hugh
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Hi Hugh!
Thanks for playing “Forever Young.” You are utterly correct, it is one of Dylan’s best compositions. In fact, if I were forced into a corner by a knife-wielding maniac and told that I had to select the two best Dylan songs of all time, I might well choose “Forever Young” and “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.”
The beginning and the end.
“Mama take this badge off of me / I can’t use it any more / It’s gettin’ dark, too dark to see / Feel like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door…”
Warren Zevon did a fabulous job of “Knockin’” for his last album, made right before he left this vale of tears. And Slim Pickens in the movie, dying, is one of the greatest film moments of all time. Thank you Sam Peckinpah as well as Slim and Bob!
I can proudly say that I don’t even know how to tie a tie. There have been occasions when I’ve needed to wear them, but I’ve always needed to have someone else tie it for me. I tried to learn once or twice but it seemed like I was so allergic to it that my hands just couldn’t do it. The Western-style USA bolo tie has been my go-to-instead for many years whenever I need to wear a tie (which is probably once in a decade or less?). I think when I wear a real tie I feel like an impostor; and I know that I feel like a fool. A red scarf in the cold months is a different story.
I kind of wish all the countries in the world had boycotted coming over here to play sports in this day-and-age when our President is rampaging around the world causing so much trouble and grief with endless blowhard threats, unnecessary tariffs, and actual attacks. It’s a Grinch-like feeling perhaps but I just can’t help myself! But it seems like if the rest of the world won’t stand up to the man, Americans themselves definitely aren’t gonna do it…Although they WILL do it, once things get bad enough…but it’s just sad that things will have to get that bad, first…
Anyway, I think the rest of the world can’t (or shouldn’t) throw stones at the good ol’ USA if they’re willing to come over here under these circumstances for an optional event that is making the president look good (he thinks)!
Dale
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Hi Dale,
I honestly think I’m a bit directional dyslexic. I can look at a cooker that has the dots to show which ring the switch works and I get then wrong. Years back, I asked my dad to show me how to tie a Double Windsor. He is left handed, I am right. It didn’t go well and we ended up arguing. However I always remembered that and for his funeral, I was determined to learn the Double Windsor. After many hours watching YouTube, I threw my tie to Gwen and asked her to tie it for me!!
I agree with you regarding the football but that should have happened last time when the tournament was given to Qatar. No matter what the president of the States does, the governing body that is FIFA is more corrupt than anyone!!!
It’s an absolute delight to see how well received the Scotland fans have been but what creases me up, is if anyone from Boston was in Glasgow during a Celtic / Rangers game, they’d see a whole different side.
I have a close friend who is from London and he told me years ago that on his first night out, he was worried to go out due to his accent. I told him never to worry, anyone he met would have a pint with him, it was between each other that could be the problem! But that’s what I love about the National Team, those sectarian mutants wont be there! (It’s an embarrassment to say this, but there are some factions of both Celtic and Rangers who will not support the National Team as there are players from the opposite side in it!!!)
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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That whole Planet Waves LP was wonderful. Alas it was the last LP he recorded with The Band. I guess we must be thankful for what we have been given.
Had a cat-nap this afternoon, an important safeguard for auld gits who are otherwise liable to nod off at the wrong moment. The Scotland game is on the BBC channel. Just discovered that Duncan Ferguson is commenting on the STV channel – there’s a guy who would’ve kept me awake. He wasn’t known as Duncan Disorderly for nothing.
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Hi Mick,
Ahhh Big Dunc!!! He wore his heart on his sleeve and his head on others’ faces!!
It’s probably because of the football that I’m answering this so late. Our game wasn’t great but was all about the result. I think we sort of cancelled each other out.
The German’s finishing was impressive. The USA have come along ten fold and what can I say about the Cape Verdeians (Is that what they are called?) defending against Spain…Brilliant, solid, regimented and passionate. (The Bookies will love them!!!)
It’s going to be an interesting few weeks.
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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To be honest we are trying to minimise our exposure to the old world cup thing. Can’t avoid it altogether and I hope it all passes peacefully and with no disasters. I have to say that the things I’ve seen the police etc. seem to be trying to keep it lighthearted and jolly – that’s got to be a good thing.
I’m still discovering Dylan songs or perhaps more that I discover songs that I didn’t know Dylan wrote! What an odd choice of name T’The Tea Set’ but then I think it’s probably difficult to come up with something new quirky and memorable. Good job they changed it!
Thanks for another fun post – At the time of writing Scotland have a win but oh my look who they play next! – dd
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Hi Diane,
Football should only be about two things, fun and the football! I agree, I hope that it all goes well and everyone behaves themselves!!
Yep, ‘The Tea-Set’ befuddles me! I hope they were on a lot of drugs. How else can you explain the conversation, ‘We’re gonna be a Rock Band! How about calling ourselves, ‘The Tea-Set’
…’Yeh!! That’s a cracking name!!!!’
Thanks as always for all your help!
Hugh
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Maggie Bell! What a voice. I may have said before, I remember her from Stone the Crows (so named apparently after what Led Zep’s manager Peter Grant said when he heard them play). No ties for me (had to get a neighbour to show our lad how to tie one when he started at secondary school). And no World Cup either – “Donald Trump is the most corrupt person on the planet”; Infantino (head of FIFA): “Hold my beer!” (not that he likes a pint I suspect …) Rant over. On y’go.
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Hi Steven,
As corruption goes, FIFA is up there with musk, Dr Evil and Spectre!!
I will need to dig out a Maggie Bell CD that I have. I may have a double header listening to that and then Alex Harvey!!
I think I first heard her as she sung the Taggart theme tune. Then I saw her in ‘Down Among The Big Boys’ which was a TV adaptation of Peter McDougal’s work. She was singing Karaoke in one scene and was so bad, you just knew that she had to be good!!! (He also did ‘Just Another Saturday’, ‘Just A Boy’s Game’ and ‘The Elephant’s Graveyard – They are all dated, rightly so, but really are worth a look.)
Thanks as always my fine friend, hope life is being kind to you.
Hugh
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