It’s now week 572!
I feel that the year is fair flying in. I think that happens when there isn’t much to look forward to!
Before I start writing the usual pish that I do, I’d like to point out that the site now has over one and a half million hits!
Thanks to all of you who have made this spectacular figure possible!!!
At time of writing, I’m still having computer problems so please read the first thirty lines of week 570. (…Solved now but I still feel the same way!! So feel free to read those thirty lines anyway.)
I’ve been watching The Winter Olympics this week and up until now, we haven’t won a medal. (We have now!!) We had a chance with the ice dance. The fellow who was competing is from Prestwick which is the very next town to me. The girl was a Canadian who lived in America (Or the other way around) She must have had the misfortune to have a British parent. She should be applauded though – She went to University in Dundee and didn’t graduate with a smack habit!!
That’s not a slight on Dundee, that line could have been used for any university in Scotland. Now I come to think on it, most Primary Schools too!
Anyhow, I knew that they would never manage a medal. It was nothing to do with ability, skill or even luck. Nope it was song choice. We had the Canadians dancing to ‘Vincent’. The USA went for ‘Paint It Black’ and France used the haunting sound track to ‘The Whale’.
What did we use?? The Fucking Proclaimers with that ‘500 Miles’ pile of shite. I wonder if there is any study of weddings in Scotland, the play-lists and the divorce rate. I think you’ll find that, that song has been played at those weddings.
I don’t understand the interpretation side to ice dance, although I don’t understand or can do any dance!
However, typing this has made me remember this.
If you ever want to seek out a brilliant take on some horrific social history here in Britain, have a look at this film, it is outstanding!!
I would love to say that the clip reminded me of my dance days but no!!
I’m actually quite glad I’m older with some movement restrictions. (My spine is twisting and my two knees are fucked. You see, when I was younger I had no excuses and was simply a terrible dancer. But now-a-days, I have issues (That’s for you Doug!!) Don’t get me wrong I have, in my day, started off a few inappropriate Congas. Aww, my grans funeral was a brilliant day out. Although on reflection I maybe should have waited until we got to the pub! (There’s not much oomf to ‘The Lords My Shepherd’)
That reminds me of the legend that was Rikki Fulton as the Reverend I. M. Jolly. He did a skit and he stated that he didn’t realise that the deceased wasn’t as popular as he first thought. He was surprised when the third case of Champagne was opened and after that, the mourners headed out to a Night Club!!
I’ve just heard that Robert Duval has died. The two films that he shone in, will always be in every-ones thoughts but I would like to mention another three that he lit up.
Lonesome Dove.
Falling Down.
True Grit.
Another legend who is now gone.
RIP Robert Duval.
The TV has been good over the last couple of weeks. As well as The Olympics, the Rugby (Sorry Diane) and the Snooker has been on. I know that a lot of folks moan about the amount of sport but anything that keeps those reality twats off the screen is fine by me!
Okay onto this week’s stories.
We had three new folks who we welcome and hope to see more of their work. There was a returner and a third timer.
As usual, our initial comments follow.
First up was T.A. Young with their second story for the site. ‘The Chicken Sandwich’ was published on Monday.
‘This amused me.’
‘There’s a self-awareness to this.’
‘The style was novel and entertaining.’
Next up was Tom Bentley-Fisher with his second story entitled, ‘Woman With A Prosthetic Leg’.
‘Weird but interesting.’
‘A lot is said about the people on either side of the fake leg.’
‘Dis-Communicated from the church made me smile.’
On Wednesday we had our first new writer.
Barry Yedvobnick’s story was called ‘Asimov In The Waiting Room.’
‘This is very well done.’
‘Chilling!’
‘Things could be headed this way.’
‘Trespassing’ was next up which was Liz deBeer’s first story for us.
‘This is awful and sad.’
‘Well written.’
‘This story carries a punch.’
And we finished up with our last newbie.
‘Hell’s Half Acre’ by Danyl A. Boyle finished off the week.
‘This is very well done.’
‘It’s great to see Danyl being published.’
‘This has the potential to be extended.’
That’s us for another week.
Keep on commenting and if someone has commented, please say ‘Thanks’
Talking about that simple word, we’ve been asked for feedback over the last few weeks which we have obliged. It would be nice to receive a ‘Thanks’ for that. It takes time and a lot of effort to look back and summarise. I reckon that the last five or so have never been acknowledged.
I would like to blame social media for spawning so many bad-mannered people but maybe it’s all down to them!!
Just before a piece of music, I read two invaluable tips this week from Mr Cowan.
First off is, if you’ve bought a ‘Get Well Soon’ card, keep it till the last minute. If circumstances change, you could always take it back and replace it with a ‘Sympathy’ card.
And lastly, never have sex with someone who can spell gonorrhoea at the first time of asking!
The song is one of those that I keep forgetting about until I hear it.
literally stories 
Hi Hugh
Wow, I didn’t realize the skater was from Scotland and Britain. We were commenting how we hate that stupid “500 Miles” song, lol. And it really did take away from the performance, since it’s the only thing I remember. Why would they choose that? I’m sure the lady skater was topnotch to be there.
I read your paragraph out loud about “500 Miles” to my ex-wife, and we really laughed about what you wrote. It is so spot on and funny! Like how it was practically taken right out of our own minds! That’s what I call great writing! So thank you for brightening up the morning with some genuine humor!
We’ve been on the Olympics every night. Sometimes I say, “I’m getting tired of this.” Hinting or outright saying we should watch “Law and an Order,” or something else. Then I get drawn in. The camera work with those little buzzing drones is fantastic. I’m always saying after seeing an amazing twirl or a quadruple flip on the “Half Pipe” or something, “I can’t fucking believe they can do that!” Or going 80 mph down ski slopes!
Personal gripe… E. Gu pisses me off, she lives and benefits from America, but represents China. That blows! Surprised Trump hasn’t sent her to some CIA off-site prison. He’ll probably read this and send me too! Oh shit!
I forgot Robert D. was in “Falling Down!” Great movie! RIP
Total A-game post! Gold medal!
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
I reckon everyone should laugh at that sodding song!
I would say though, if you don’t know it, seek out ‘Cat Amongst The Pigeons’ by ‘Bross’ – That is surely the worst vocal performance I have ever heard.
I don’t know if I am more in awe about the Winter Olympian’s skill or bravery. To be brutally honest I think they are all Bonkers!!!! Going down a huge ice-slide on what looks like your grannies tea trolley is not normal behaviour!!
All joking aside, fair play to them all. I just hope no-one gets hurt.
I try not to mention other Nationalities leaders but I do wonder why Mr T hasn’t been screaming from the rafters about bringing RandyAndyPaedoPanda to the states.
…I have my suspicions!!!
Thanks so much for the kind words!!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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I like to watch dance sequences with the sound off – people look ridiculous!!
Sorry about the missing header image – My mind sort of zoned out. Another amusing post and, Hugh, well done for sticking with it – that was quite the challenge.
Diane xx
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Hi Diane,
I didn’t realise that you had forgotten! I thought you had been up to your usual brilliance and the title was above a blanket of snow!!
Thanks to you and Leila for the help with the sodding site problems – I was very close to saying ‘Fuck it!!!’
Oh and dancing, I look ridiculous no matter what!!
Thanks as always.
Hugh
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Hello Hugh
You have overcome the Tapatalk Dragon (or maybe “Draggin.” Believe it or not, for some reason after the Papillion video my Chromebook is playing Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights. That has never happened before.
I am cool with immigrants, but sometimes I think that there should be questions when someone is competing for a nation they are only slightly connected to. See that a lot in the World Cup. If I were an athlete, with my mother being Canadian, I think I could compete for the Leaf even though my total time in Canada does not exceed two hours.
Oh, I see, the link kept playing–right now Kirsty MacColl (one of the very few legit celeb heroes) is singing “New England.” Good taste on your YouTube.
Let’s see what plays next—Lonely Boy–The Black Keyes–gonna leave this open for awhile.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Thanks for all your help!
‘New England’ is a brilliant song. The original by Billy Bragg is excellent but I think Kirsty nicks it. I’m always saddened when I think of her.
I’m a bit old fashioned and I think that where you are born is where you should represent. That’s simple but for the sake of poaching the best, the system has been made flexible shall we say??
Cheers again!
You are on a roll with some good music – Let’s hope there are no Tartan mishaps to spoil it!!
All the very best.
Hugh
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Good post and roundup. The running video wore me out just watching it. We’re watching a lot of Olympics, too. It’s live here in the afternoon, and we have replays in the evening. Missed the 500 Miles ice dance. I like the song but it seems a poor choice for ice skating (and weddings). Can’t imagine someone not saying thanks to feedback they asked for.
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Hi Dave,
I’ve not heard that song at a funeral…YET!
If I ever do, it will be greeted by my usual swearing and questioning!!
I think simple manners have went out the window. Even when driving you are not guaranteed a nod when you have given way.
Even at fifty-eight I can still hear my mum and my grans voice curtly reminding me to say thanks with a ‘What do you say??’
Thanks as always my fine friend!!
Hugh
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