Well this is a sad week for many a British person. Half of Glasgow is in tears. But I’ll come back to that.
Here we are at Week 445 – You may have guessed from the title!
I touched on this topic last time.
…The old show and tell balance.
Last time I explained how a scene from Porky’s could never have been told through the medium of story- telling as it was hysterical to watch
With that in mind, I give you a joke that doesn’t go into much detail being told –
A man jumps into a cab and asks the driver to take him into the Main Street. Just as they enter the street, the guy taps the driver on the shoulder to tell him to stop. Before he can say anything, the driver swerved, sped up, slowed down and crashed into a shop- front. The fair screamed “What the fuck?!!”
The driver said, “Sorry! My last job was driving a hearse.”
You could add lots onto that but if you do, it loses it’s power.
It isn’t over-explained and therefore, the reveal is your realisation and that hits you like a punch in the gut.
The reason that I mention this (And I don’t mean to be disrespectful) but there are so many folks who tell us that they are from writers’ clubs and eight times out of ten, they are guilty of overwriting, using too many adverbs and over-describing.
It’s the same with new writers. They are so intent on painting a picture, they haven’t learnt the less is more lesson.
I can’t remember the actor that Michael Cain was talking about who advised him on this. The story went that Cain was being expressive and the old actor Said, ‘Less’ Cain cut back and again the old hand said, ‘Less’ Cain tried once more and yet again the actor said ‘Less’. Cain then stated ‘If I do anything less, I’ll be doing nothing.’ The other man said, ‘Now you are getting it!’
I always dread reading a writers’ group writer’s submission but there are a few that are the exceptions and I always love to be surprised!
Off topic but not – I just wish that Louisa Owen’s ‘Short Straw’ had been categorised as a Romance so I could’ve been doubly surprised! (Check it out if you haven’t read it – In my opinion, one of the best on the site!!)
Okay onto this week’s stories.
We had three new folks, who we extend a huge welcome to! A lovely lady who has returned and one of the (In my opinion) most interesting writers on the site.
As always, our initial comments follow.
We started the week with the brilliant Alex Sinclair for the thirteenth time. That is a fair amount for a back-catalogue!
‘The Many Deaths Of Neptune Gilderoy’ was first up.
‘I think this is symbolic.’
‘There is some excellent stuff here!’
‘As always, Alex gives us many a cracking line.’
On Tuesday we had the welcome return of Karen Uttien with ‘Always’.
‘The final sentence is wonderful.’
‘This is quite lovely.’
‘So well done.’
The next three writers are all new and again, we send them a warm welcome.
The first of these was Thurman Heart with ‘A Bad Day For Death.’
‘I was loving this…He was such a nasty individual.’
‘Very entertaining.’
‘What a ride!’
On Thursday we published Connor Beck with his first story, ‘Penny Loafers’.
‘I like the tone.’
‘This appealed to me.’
‘I’m not sure I understood all of it but I did enjoy the read.’
And the week was completed with Deborah Thwaites ‘Royal Visit’
‘This made me grin.’
‘It’s like a weird Acid flashback.’
‘A pretty good shot at the royals’ (It’s me who is typing this and I don’t want to capitalise those mutants! – Hugh)
That’s that done.
Just the usual repetition here folks, we do a few different features of a Sunday – Check out some of the posts and send us an email if you want to get involved.
We could do with some new commentators to help out our stalwarts so please if you are a new writer, please try commenting – It’s amazing how much inspiration you can get from what you and others write.
Just to finish, as I have done in the past, I wondered if anyone of any note died this week in history.
And to be honest only Don Williams stood out – Not my choice of music but the big fellow did have a beautiful tone to his voice.
There was another anniversary of a death that will get idiots spouting the same old ‘Wonderful to reach the age it did’ type of fucking shite. All of our old mums, grans, aunties etc. could have reached the same age if they were looked after the way the paedo’s mother was.
And all you royalist fuckwits out there, (Including the one half of Glasgow I was talking about- They also got beat by the other half of Glasgow) don’t worry as it will be back. It is now a year into re-generation. (How many virgins have been found dead and drained of blood – Oh that’s right, we’ll never know!) I do believe that it is in a horrible-looking stage and beginning to resemble queen camilla. This will confuse that charlie thing as he will not so much want to be a tampon, but a Tenna Lady-Pad. The confusion will be from who he wants to absorb. (An idea for an image Diane????)
At least when it is regenerated, it will be able to welcome it’s paedo son back into the fold as king chuck is talking that way.
Fuck me – Even our shit judicial system will lock up a mutant child molester for six years. But it seems if you are a royal, you will be forgiven after a year or so.
I am close to finishing this posting with ‘Jake The Peg’ or ‘Bad’ as in celebration of beasts (Or those who spawned them…Well they wouldn’t have been here otherwise!) but NO!
This last part has depressed me but with RandyandyPandy in mind, let’s have a song that the title should never be something he thinks about as his grand-kids hit their pubescent years!!
Image: Adobe images. Three Tampax on a grey background. – It’s not my fault – Hugh made me do it. dd
literally stories 
Hugh
Brave and daring as always. The royals of yore would have your head on the bridge, but there is no money in that, and none of the new crop look to have the killer instinct. In fact save for the genetic contribution by Diana Spencer, the clan all look as similar as those persons deep in the Ozarks who breed their own stock. (Obviously Spencer DNA is not particularly good at holding onto male hair for the heirs).
Absolutely correct on visuals. Buster Keaton “wrote” brilliant visuals as did the fine silent era film makers. The look of stuff like Metropolis told you plenty. And that Porky’s scene is fantastically shot, capturing Beaula, the clueless principal and the guys who excelled at laughing (imagine how hard that had to be, if many takes).
I doubt the Ghost of II needs the header items anymore than she did since around, say, 1970.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
I was a great fan of Harold Lloyd!
Just recently I watched the film ‘Stan And Ollie’ with John C Reilly and Steve Coogan – They did a brilliant job. There were a few scenes where it showed you Stan writing visual comedy and Ollie laughing as he visualised it. I think that is now a dying skill. Although Lee Evans, Billy Connolly (In his prime) and the wonderfully underrated David Hyde Pierce all had a brilliant knack for physical comedy.
Oh and Johnny Depp in the film ‘Benny And June’ showed skills that went from there to Jack Sparrow.
I don’t get the feeling that auld chick and his troot will ever have the fawning that her, once fae the big hoose did…But there are always narrow-minded imbeciles who want to bow and curtsy and wave flags at those who they feel are superior to them.
Those sycophants should always remember…Death and diarrhoea are great levellers!!
Thanks as always Leila!!
Hugh
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Hugh
I watched Stan and Ollie a few months back, and it is great. Love L&H, and they set them up with the worst possible wives in their films plus the d’oh guy who inspired Homer.
Leila
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I didn’t understand most of what Hugh wrote, but inferred it resembled USA with a different accent. Jewish Space Lasers. Need I say more? I think not.
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Hi Doug,
I agree, most social problems, political problems or area problems are the same the world around. You have said something that I have used many a time when we get into an argument about independence from the other home countries (Although it is from England mainly)…The only difference between a Scottish politician and an English one is their accents. Apart from that they are both either peados, thieves or liars.
Glad you stuck with it and gladder (WOW – That is a word!!) that you commented!!
You keep keeping the world more interesting my fine friend.
Hugh
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Entertaining post. The joke illustrates the power of show don’t tell / less is more very well. I did a quick double-take before I got it, and that made it funnier. The Cain anecdote was on-point as well. And a good story round-up as you and Leila always provide.
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Hi Dave,
Thanks as always.
I actually heard that joke on our local radio station, West Sound. But the DJ had a section where he spoke to ‘The Gabby Cabby’ from New York and it was him who told the joke. I also took a second or so before I realised the punch-line. I think those pause before realisation jokes are the best!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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Oh, good for you, Hugh! You remembered that charlie tampon thing.
Since then, I have always thought of him as “The Man Who Would Be Tampon.”
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Hi Bill,
I have a rather good memory for royal scandal, just to rip the pish as I can’t tell you how much I don’t give a fuck about them. I was maybe the only person in Britain who wasn’t surprised when the attention seeker wore a nazi uniform – They fuckers are so out of touch with the people of their country, insults are foreign to them! Look at some of the quotes from the well dead husband of the paedo’s mother!!
…In yet, after all that – We still have the flag wavers – No fecking wonder we never win the Eurovision Song Contest – Every other country hates us. (Britain that is…Us Scots are a wee bit of an oddity and proud for it!)
Thanks so much for the comments my good man!!!
Hugh
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When I read things like this it reinforces my happiness that we don’t believe in censorship for content. I may not actually agree with all you say Hugh but I always admire your brave writing.
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Hi Diane,
I’m hurt that you don’t agree with everything I say!
…Oh wait a minute – I’ve been married for 33 years.
Strike that!!
…Not being agreed with is water off a ducks back!!!!!!!!
I think that is what I love about our whole process, the difference of opinions – To be honest, it doesn’t happen often but in a deciding a story context, when we do have opinions miles apart, that does make for some very interesting debate between me, you and Leila.
…And the great thing is, we have never fell out about it. I think we have too much respect for each other and whatever we do, we try to do it for the writer!!
Thanks again my lovely friend.
Oh and I think the header image was some of those of that camilla thing had left as I’m sure I saw cobwebs.
…HAH!!! I totally cleaned that line up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugh
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G’morning, Hugh,
Thanks for the reminder on stomping dead those words that do not serve a purpose. Dog grant that wiser voices will guide my struggling fingertips as they hover ‘ore the keyboard…
William Strunk (1918): “A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”
Or… Arthur Quiller-Couch (1916): “Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it—whole-heartedly—and delete it before sending your manuscript to press. Murder your darlings.”
Or… Stephen King paraphrasing Quiller-Couch, Faulkner, and others… (2000): “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.”
That’s me done,
Marco
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Hi Marco.
Superb quotes.
Now the likes of your good self, Dave Henson and Leila have an imagination that need words and that is a skill in itself. You don’t waste any of them.
On the other end of that scale we have (In my opinion the best) one writer who only needs a few words to get a story across and that writer is Adam Kluger.
I am in awe of you all for the two very different reasons!!!!
Stay happy, healthy and inspired my fine friend.
Hugh
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‘royalist fuckwits’ – is there another kind of royalist I’ve not encountered? Anyway, good to be back and hope to be regularly commenting again after a month of moving from Dundee to one city in China, then another city and new job. Good to be back! Great choice of song too.
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Hi Paul,
Thanks as always!!
I will never understand, how, in this day and age, we are expected to bow or curtsy or even more puzzling, why would we want to?
…Takes all-sorts I suppose. I do hope to reach a hundred so I can send the telegram back with a colourful retort!!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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