Week 397 – Winging It, Truss’s Truss And I Didn’t Have Time To Look At Religion.

I never plan these. I never know what I’m going to write. I will look up a reference if for some reason one comes to me but I don’t start out with a plan.

Sometimes there are some things that happen on the site or in the news that I make a mental note to saying something. (Today is an example as I knew that there was something!!)

I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but I sort of like the spontaneity of it.

I wish I could be the same when writing stories, you know, just sit down, type and see what comes up. I think out of all my stories this has only happened and worked once.

Any other time that I have tried this, I end up like Jack Torrance with tourettes.

ALL BASTARDING LETTERS AND NO PLOT MAKES HUGH VERY FUCKING FUCKED FUCKING UPED! ALL BASTARDING LETTERS AND NO PLOT MAKES HUGH VERY FUCKING FUCKED FUCKING UPED! ALL BASTARDING LETTERS AND NO PLOT MAKES HUGH VERY FUCKING FUCKED FUCKING UPED! ALL BASTARDING LETTERS AND NO PLOT MAKES HUGH VERY FUCKING FUCKED FUCKING UPED!

Isn’t ‘uped’ a very strange word??

I don’t really like much structure in my life. I never have breakfast at the same time, I never have the same thing, same with dinner. I don’t have a specific day that I go to the pub or visit or whatever. I think that is why I despise working. I hate having to be at the same place the same time, doing the same fucking thing. It bores the nipple ends completely off of me.

However I’m a bit envious of those who have the discipline and ideas to take some time out each day for writing.

It’s weird how I hate structure but on the otherhand would like some. But then I think to myself if the writing part of my life became a routine would that then become a chore??

If your hobby became your job, would you resent it if you were relying on it to pay the bills?

Oh and if you are one of those enthusiastic cunts who loves their work and is sexually aroused when they think of their boss, just fuck off!

There is nothing in this world that enthuses my wrath more than a pandering, enthusiastic sycophant of a Monday morning. It should be law that you can throw heavy objects at them.

I actually think the same about politicians. It would be very entertaining to see them waffle on about some fucked up policy, spot the stones flying through the air, cover their heads and run like fuck!

That would give them a real reason to wear their brand new, sparkling, hard hat when visiting an actual work-place.

Don’t know what to do about their perfect rolled up sleeves though – Ripping their fucking arms off would be a start. In fact we could beat them around their shiny helmet with the soggy end.

Sorry, I’m never in a good mood when it comes to politicians and that thatcher wannabe has really ripped my knitting. If you’re going to fuck up the country, at least have the balls (Yep, I’m certain of it) to follow it through. Your rich mates would be happy as the rest of us starve but at least your evil principles would be intact. This clown did a total U-Turn to save face and ended up looking like a right tit. And not for the U-Turn, but for the stupid decision in the first place that merited the U-Turn.

I do think that Miss Truss(t) now cries herself to sleep every night as her sex thought, thatcher, once said, ‘The lady (Man that is a misuse of a fucking word!) is not for turning.’

Wipe your eyes Liz, ’cause you did – Big time!!!

Okay onto this week’s stories.

We have three folks who have accumulated 275 stories between them and two new writers to the site.

For the new authors, we welcome them, hope they have fun on the site and most importantly, we want to see more of their work.

First up was the multi-talented Mr Adam Kluger. This gentleman is a very interesting artist and a guy who is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most talented writer at getting across a story and depth of character by saying very little.

If you ever need guidance on reducing your excessive writing, read Adam’s work.

‘In The End It Was Really A Love Story‘ was his 47^th outing for us. Only three more Adam to join a club of very few names.

‘I like its melancholy little touch.’

‘As always with Adam’s work, nothing much happens but it’s full of interesting characters.’

‘This is a snippet of life that catches you.’

George Nevgodovsky was our first new writer. He was published on Tuesday with ‘Mriya’.

‘Authentic.’

‘This had a pathos and a tone that worked.’

‘Really good writing.’

Two new writers in a row!

Michael Tyler broke the back of the week with ‘We’ll Both Forget The Breeze.’

‘Poetic.’

‘There is something sad in this that I like.’

‘Really well done.’

And on Thursday it was me with ‘Bravado‘

As always, a huge thanks to Diane and Leila for accepting my work.

I was playing around with what I hope came across as realistic inner dialogue and this was what I came up with.

On Friday, we had my lovely fellow editor Leila. Now it is very apt that we were published side by side (Totally accidental, by the way) as Leila has now caught up with me. I’ve been holding onto the amount of accepted stories silver medal for a long time now. I knew that I would and will never catch Tom as he nears his two hundredth and to be honest, I knew that it was only a matter of time until Leila overtook me.

I concede my silver medal this very day and will be delighted with a bronze.

Maybe if I ever find a vein of inspiration I’ll have a wee surge back, but I very much doubt it!!

If there ever was a story that deserves to pull level and push Leila onwards, it would be ‘The Caretakers Cottage.’

‘Excellent’

‘Lovely!!’

‘Clever and funny’

Well, that’s us for another week.

The number of comments are encouraging so please keep that up.

And to all that promised a Sunday Re-Run – Shame on you!!

Never say you will when you won’t – Either ignore or tell us as is.

Just to finish.

I was flicking through some quotes the other day. There are hundreds on alcohol and thousands on sex.

Mr H Simpson has quite a few regarding beer like ‘Ahh Beer, a temporary solution’ or when asked if he was on his fourth beer of a morning, ‘Does whisky count as beer?’

Homer also mixed a quote about sex with alcohol as in, ‘A beer is like a woman, it looks good, smells good and you’d step over your dead mother to get to it.’ (That may have been the other way around!)

I was interested to read that Woody Allen had quite a few quotes regarding sex. That was fair enough until he married his daughter, then any amusement became very icky! In fact one of his quotes was probably made before he married his daughter. In one of his films, that I can’t quite remember, he was complimented on his sexual prowess and he thanked the lady stating, ‘I practice a lot when I’m alone’ (And we all know who he was thinking about!)

The two that I found that made me smile were.

Dean Martin on alcohol – ‘You aren’t really drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.’

And –

George Bernard Shaw on sex – ‘Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t.

Hugh

And what the hell, the Deano quote gives me an excuse to post this!