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Week 363 – Personnel Empathy, Twenty Five For Dave Henson And Fifty For Mr Jackson.

Here we go again, another week has been and gone. I’ll be delighted to see this posting on the site as that means that I’ll be off for a week after finishing this morning.

These days off were one of those holidays that were more of a use-up than something that was planned and what is so good about them was I thought I wasn’t off for another week.

I’m now at the stage of my work life, that, to get my head around the whole pile of pish that is employment, I think of it as I work for my days off, then from days off to payday and then from payday to days off and then eventually to holidays.

When some HR wank asks you how is your work/life balance tell them with a cutting tone that it’s bollocks, as to balance, you need to have two aspects!

…But to be truthful, if they work in HR they won’t give a fuck about you anyway!!

I was having a nostalgic think the other day and for whatever reason, I remembered how in the 80’s when you went to the video shop, you could have picked up any video and after reading the tag-line, you were excited to watch it. It sounded brilliant.

After watching it you realised that it was the tag-line writer who was brilliant whereas the film was shit.

DVD’s tried the same thing but by this time there was so much information out there you would know beforehand if it was deemed to be any good or not. (But what the hell, just because the popular opinion states it’s shit, that means nothing to you if you like it.)

Novels were the same, you would read the blurb and be excited to read the book. In those days we never consciously sought out review or opinions, we just gave them a go. I think we are now more liable to look for review and opinion than take a punt.

That’s a bit of a shame.

What is even more of a shame is if you base your choice on those (I only learned about these folks a few months back) ‘Influencers’. The reason being that you are letting an advertising, vain wanker tell you what to buy. I’ll let you into a secret, if you listen to them and let them influence you, you won’t get good-looks, fame or fortune but you will be like them in one way – You’ll be a wanker too!!!

Back to tag lines. I thought I would try to come up with some more truthful ones

Big Bastard eats folks in his own home. Or lots of rubber, lots of blood – Jaws.

A mother became very popular in Hades. – The Exorcist.

The main character was more a bit part. – Frankenstein.

Shit gin is a substitute for a shag. – 1984.

A trip across Europe didn’t end well. – Dracula.

Never trust a blonde kid. – The Midwich Cuckoos (Village Of The Damned)

Well he may have been but then came the early 80’s – Last Of The Mohicans.

One can dream there is no cramp – The Karma Sutra.

So much unrealistic sex – The New Testament.

Just wanting to get away – Rita Hayworth And The Shawshank Redemption / Papillon

I just can’t introduce this week’s stories by using tag-lines!!

I would never be able to do them any justice.

I’m happy to get away from those terrible links with a statement!

That was actually an anti-link – A double negative link. But no matter how I dress it up, it was still terrible!

But since I’ve mentioned this week’s stories, then let’s get onto this week’s stories!

Over the last five days we had two new writers, a third timer and two old hands with nearly fifty stories between them.

Topics this week include; roots, revenge, chaotic lives and fantasy.

As always our initial comments follow.

First up was our first new writer.

As always we welcome our newbies, hope they have fun and most important, we hope that they continue to send us their work.

We began on Monday with ‘Here Lies A Man‘ by Keith LaFountaine.

‘Well written and enthralling.’

‘Great tone’

‘I loved the coldness throughout.’

Michael Bloor was next up with his third story.

The Foot Of Bennachie‘ was published on Tuesday,

‘Brilliant voice.’

‘The barb at the end is what it’s all about.’

‘A well constructed and entertaining story.’

Harrison Kim broke the back of the week with his nineteenth story, ‘Deep Inside Woodwards.’

‘Harrison did a brilliant job capturing the turmoil world that some live in.’

‘A bit of an LSD experience here!’

‘All those eggs and burgers made me a bit nauseous!’

On Thursday we had our second new writer.

I Will Gift My Dragon‘ was the first outing for Lance Gutierrez.

‘Weird little allegory.’

‘Metaphor maybe??’

‘I would like to light a cigarette off of a dragon.’

And we finished with one of our most imaginative writers, Dave Henson. We have many creative writers but for sheer numbers, Dave is second only to Leila Allison’s output in creating stories that they have to use that bit of their writing brain that invents and makes logic from that invention. Few can do this well or consistently.

Dave hit the quarter of a century with ‘A Currency Of Serpents

Mr Henson is a delight to work with, a true gent and a helluva good writer!!

Many congratulations Dave!

‘Different and imaginative.

‘Thought provoking.’

‘Dave writes this type of imaginative fiction effortlessly!’

That is another week well and truly rounded up.

We don’t ask much folks but the usual requests are.

1. Please comment.

2. Please acknowledge any comments on your story.

3. Please get involved with the Sunday Re-Run!

None of these are mandatory but if you don’t do them, you’ll make Jesus cry and we all know what happens when Jesus gets upset!

…Well fuck all really but I’m trying to make a point.

Next time I may mention making Beelzebub happy which may happen if Jesus cries.

– I like to appeal to all sides!

Just to finish,

This is a very stressful time for me. My paper is ruined for months now, I don’t want to watch the news and there are so many folks I’d love to punch!

The reason for my stress is that I’m saddened to see that Britain is gearing up for some shite celebration about her in the big hoose in yon London being on the throne for seventy years.

Her loyal subjects are all fawning about how this has never been done before.

…I beg to differ.

Cool Hand Luke beat that record after eating all those boiled eggs!

Hugh

***

Congratulations Dave – It’s great to see you reaching your 25th story with us. Keep on sending. dd

***

Banner Image: Ben Schumin from Montgomery Village, Maryland, USA

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

8 thoughts on “Week 363 – Personnel Empathy, Twenty Five For Dave Henson And Fifty For Mr Jackson.”

  1. Congratulations to David! He’s a constant supporter and a very good writer.

    Congratulations to Hugh for getting time off and having two cats around willing to shred his newspapers.

    Here’s a tag:

    “For those interested in wasting two hours and six bucks”–The Many Saints of Newark

    Leila

    Like

    1. Hi Leila,
      Thanks as always.
      I do think that Tag Writers are a breed unto themselves. I don’t know whether to call them optimists or conmen!!
      Hugh

      Like

  2. Thank you for the kind words, Hugh (and Leila and Diane)! It’s an honor to have 25 stories in a publication of the quality of LS. I’m trying to remember how I discovered you … I believe on Duotrope. That was a lucky day for me. A mashup tag: “The horse head won’t fit in the cradle” — Rosemary Meets The Godfather.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dave,
      Your plaudits are well deserved!
      You may have given Leila an idea for another list.
      It would be interesting to find out if there was an initial story that a first timer read that made them decide to submit.
      All the very best my fine friend.
      Hugh

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Why did personnel become human resources? We don’t talk about building resources, machinist resources, sales resources. Another term this old man refuses to accept. As usual the replacement is longer and more words, as the replacements for shell shock and all the others.

    Old curmudgeon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Doug,
      I have never met as much a bunch of ‘Firms’ as those wankers from Personnel!!
      Thanks as always.
      All the very best my fine friend.
      Hugh

      Like

    1. HR needs re-worked, there is no doubt about that. I feel that they are the companies Storm Troopers.
      The other thing I would get rid of is that bastard of a condition that states ‘And any other duties at your managers discretion’.
      Hugh

      Like

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