Short Fiction, Writing

Week 291 – Names Should Be Names, Numbers Should Be Numbers And Confusing Terminology Is Asking To Be Misunderstood.

Well we’re now at week 291.

As we say here, ‘The nichts are fair drawin’ in’.

Which is simply translated as, ‘It’s getting darker earlier and that means that winter is just around the corner.’

Some submissions have given me the inspiration for this posting.

I’m not the most technical person in so many ways. A lot of things are beyond my understanding and there are some things that just don’t stick.

I was a baker for twelve years and for twelve years, I had to ask, when mixing up the chemicals two and one, which was the two and which was the one. Now that I don’t need to think on that, ironically, I still don’t know.

I also struggle with irony!

I can never recall how to spell analyise (See!)

Things that I can never remember when writing are:

The correct term for brackets (I call them brackets.)

What the text around dialogue is called. (For me it’s either flam or pish depending on how excessive.)

Shortening phrases from ‘It is’ to ‘It’s’ – For the life of me I can not remember the word for this abbreviation. Diane has told me on so many occasions when I have done this. I still continually do this and it is always an issue.

POV – I do sort of remember by classing the three as; me talking, me telling a story, and the weird one that really needs to catch my interest or it just irritates, due to the constant use of the word ‘you’.

It has now come to my attention that I don’t know a word for the way of writing that doesn’t name characters. The writer gives them either characteristics like brown hair, the shy one or more basic description like lettuce in their teeth, brown jumper that sort of thing. Oh and numbers. Unless I totally misunderstood and there is a guy called four and his family; one, two and three.

The writer of this was pretentious but appropriately he was called 3.14.*

My very limited education regarding writing is a pass in a Scottish ‘O’ level in English. (I do know that technically that could be called a contradiction in terms!) but I must have been **plunking it and tanning my dad’s homebrew on the day we did numbers and salad in the teeth as ***pronouns or proper nouns as I haven’t a Scooby what the bloody hell that’s all about.

I know the word ‘fad’ is very insulting as it describes a pile of pish that’s only done for the wrong reasons but I suspect it is that.

Is this being taught as a ways of writing? If so do those who teach realise how much this pisses off those who read?

Maybe it’s more Political Correctness for those wankers to spout off a reason more than a specific.

Or has it to do with this type of writing being about ‘Whoever you see it to be’?

Well, that’s just vague at the best, rather pretentious and very fucking lazy!!

If anyone knows the term or has their own suggestion, we’d love to hear it.

Okay onto our stories of the past five days.

We had one new writer, two returners an old friend and me.

Our topics this week include: an amphibian, incest, war, aid and films.

As always our initial comments follow.

I got us up and running with ‘Julia’s End.’

It’s not often I do feel good happy love story romps and this was no exception.

Again I need to thank Nik and Diane for indulging me. This will be the last time. Normal services will resume as of now.

Mr Fred Foote has now graced our site sixty five times. Check them out. Every one is a gem.

The Wee People‘ was published on Tuesday.

‘This was a fun read.’

‘I loved the transvestite schoolboy!’

‘A bit crazy and written with Fred’s usual brilliance!!’

Terry Sanville was our first returning author.

‘A Change In Latitude‘ was next up.

‘The scene in the club was excellent.’

‘You really felt his sadness and desperation.’

‘That whole situation was a travesty.’

And our second seconder nearly finished off the week.

The Making Of A Star‘ was Ximena Escobar’s story which was published on Thursday.

‘The menace and coldness was well done.’

‘Dark and dastardly!’

‘The sense of time was done brilliantly. The characters were very visible.’

And we finished off with our only new writer.

The usual welcome to Praniti Veerangana.

We hope they have fun on the site and continue to send us their work.

‘Illicit Illusion’ was last up on Friday.

‘This had something. It was quite infectious.’

‘The tone was just short of maudlin which was beautifully judged.’

‘A story about loss and pain that was done so well!!’

That’s us for another week.

You know what’s coming.

Please keep commenting.

And if you read the stories on the site and have never commented, go on, pop your commenting cherry!

If anyone would like to get involved with the Sunday Re-Run, just pick an older story that you’ve enjoyed, write a spiel or an introduction and throw in a few questions for the author.

We will publish exactly what you send us.

Just to finish off, I looked up some technical terms within writing. I couldn’t believe how many there were and how many I didn’t know. So I came up with my own ideas and very few have anything to do with the actual subject. There is so much to be said for simple writing and terminology.

To be honest, I didn’t know any of them except one.

I’m more confused now than I’ve been about the popularity of ratatouille.

1. Sluicing: That’s boiling shitty clothes.

2. Mountweazel: A straight or gay rodent who only gives. Alternatively – A really pervy pervert.

3. Moses Illusion: That’s Jim from Ward Seven who gets out on a Wednesday to go for a pint and insists on telling us ten things and gives us Victory V’s.

4. Malaphor: Is that not yoan Village of The Dammed fucker out of Harry Potter?

5. Grawlix: Fucking bastarding pish!

6. Di Rimers Copulatio: A type of alternative that could be classed as birth control that would be shunned by The Catholic Church. (Aye right!!)

7. Bicapitalisation: A letter that can be turned both ways.

8. Clitic: Someone who doesn’t pay attention to the most important detail.


*pi – In Scotland, if you call a male a ‘Pie’, you are calling them a lady-part.

**Plunking it – Playing truant.

***See – I can be technical!

…I think.

…Should proper noun be capitalised??

Image by Manuel do Moucheiro from Pixabay

1 thought on “Week 291 – Names Should Be Names, Numbers Should Be Numbers And Confusing Terminology Is Asking To Be Misunderstood.”

  1. I believe that the science of the English language is overly complicated and is loaded with nerdisms, geekbytes and spazzies which obfuscate clarity and make students hate the subject with special intensity. I keep a copy of The Elements of Style around because it is the only reference book a writer needs. (Got an old OED, weighs a good six kilos, but it’s only round for show).
    My little bugaboo involves headed vs. heading. I can never understand the difference, so I avoid them to the point of going the long way around. I sometimes confuse fewer and less (you got me on that once) even though I ought to know better.


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