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Week 277 – Spoofing Horror, Not Doing Disney And A Matter Of Taste.

Here we are at Week 277.

Another week has come and gone.

We suggest that for last week you:

Now throw a kiss and say bye bye.

(Anyone know the reference??)

Before we start both me and Diane would like to thank Nik for all his work on the new look of the site. We really appreciate it and it’s something else that makes us stand out.

I have to admit I had no input as I’m an idiot man and if I tried to change even one heading the site would have crashed and the world would have ended.

All through my life when I’ve been working with systems I’ve heard the same thing from those who had to sort out my mess – Well I’ve never seen that before. Dae me a favour, ya rocket, fuck off oot ma road. (That is Scottish speak for: Please be kind enough to leave. You are inadequate and are not being very helpful and you are in my way.)

I’m sure that Nik would want me to appeal to all of you, if there are any problems that you see, let us know and we’ll have a look. Well, ‘we’ means not me!

Over the last few postings we’ve addressed certain types of submissions. To carry on with the unwanted theme, I’d like to mention another type that has us as baffled as a teenager deciding on their gender for the day.

We’ve had a few stories written from some rather strange points of view.

We’ve all seen the kind where the un-human has been given human traits and personality. You know the type of thing:

‘Haw, Death, my man…Any chance you killing that Love as I want a shag at her more passionate wee sister, Jealousy.’

To be honest, these aren’t as unique as you think. Again, it’s only the really talented writers who can take these on.

So you would think that picking something unique would work.

…Well

…Probably not.

‘Percy the puddle’ having a conversation with ‘Jimmy the umbrella’ about not getting it up isn’t unique, it’s just weird.

Apart from the talking animals we warn folks about, we have had chatty babies, a conversing lake, talkative clothing, many talking corpses, (Yep we are still getting those ending with some form of, ‘And then I died’) a few articulate trees and Kevin the multi-personality Rubiks Cube.

Okay, the last one was made up but I kind of liked the idea. Now that I think on it Kevin would be colour blind and blind and have a seeing-eye dog called Stevie. But no matter how much I like how Kevin’s character is coming together, I would make him mute!!

There is a romantic notion about an old oak tree watching over a village but please for the sake of our sanity, keep that for poetry. All the rest of the talkative things stories, please file them in a file called ‘NOPE. THIS IDEA IS SHITE’

Now onto this weeks stories.

We had two new writers and three folks who, if you want to see how it’s done, look at any examples of their work.

Our topics this week included: Contemplation, coping, voyeurism, extortion and dog whispering.

As always our initial comments follow.

 

On Monday we had our first new writer.

We welcome both of them, hope that they have fun on the site and as always, we are hoping to see more of their work.

Hannah Stubbs got us up and running with ‘Sugar‘.

 

‘Anything that makes anyone uncomfortable who has harboured these thoughts is alright by me.’

‘The reader really feels for the poor girl.’

‘Her life had been ruined since the age of four.’

 

The enigmatic and lovely Leila Allison was next up.

Labradoodle, Lippybite, Tabby And Shogg‘ was her story on Tuesday.

‘This is beautifully written, imaginative beyond excellent and a helluva lot of fun!’

‘Leila has deliberately taken our submission guidelines and bitten us with them! Brilliant!!’

‘I’ve had a few dealing with doodles and I love them, which is weird cause I hate poodles.’

 

The back of the week was broken by Tom Sheehan.

This gentleman is well over his hundredth story and every one is a gem.

Almost Rickshaw‘ was published on Wednesday.

‘This was a bit different from Tom.’

‘I love the hypocrisy in this story.’

‘A clever mix of history, sexual tension, coming of age and need.’

 

Harrison Kim is another writer who is gathering together an excellent body of work.

He nearly finished us off on Thursday with, ‘Rocking In The Meaning Of The World.’

‘Harrison gives us common themes but every one is so different.’

‘How he processed what he did was for him only.’

‘There are many stories within this one, just like life.’

 

Darren Grey was our second new writer. We extend him the same welcome and we finished off the week with his first story, ‘Heights.’

‘He doesn’t want the intrusion of life or death.’

‘The musings about the street were mesmerising.’

‘This has a sort of story arc about it.’

 

Well that’s us for another week.

The usual Scripture Union guys.

Please keep commenting.

And have a go at the Sunday Re-Run. Simply pick an older story that you’ve enjoyed and write a spiel or an introduction about it. You can throw a few questions in for the writer and we will publish exactly what you send us.

The quote at the beginning of this was from the absolutely brilliant, ‘Young Frankenstein.’

That made me look at other films of 1974. There were a few more of my favourites in there.

The Mean Machine / The Gambler / The Towering Inferno / From Beyond The Grave / Carry On Dick / Stardust / The Godfather Part II

There were a few that educated me.

Emmanuel / Fritz The Cat / Black Christmas / Deep Throat Part II.

There were lots of horror, Martial Arts and some that would never be shown in these days due to the titles being a wee bit un-PC.

But whilst I was looking through all the films of 1974, I couldn’t help but chuckle when I realised that ‘Deep Throat Part II’ was at number sixty nine!!

 

Hugh

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I was very tempted by the Rubki’s Cube but the puddle comment was just too good. dd

10 thoughts on “Week 277 – Spoofing Horror, Not Doing Disney And A Matter Of Taste.”

  1. This is a fine roll, roll, roll in dee hay. I’d rather quote Peter Boyle, but I cannot come up with any sense making letters to properly convey the way he said “putting on the ritz,”

    Like

    1. Cheers Leila,
      And you never mentioned his enormous shwanzstuker…Woof!
      For the song how about: OOOO/WINN/ONNN/WI/WITZZZ???
      I try when I’m watching the film not to quote anything but it’s impossible. It is about the only film that makes me smile all the way through!

      …Werewolf?
      …Werewolf?
      …There wolf. There castle.

      …I ain’t got no body!!
      And nobody’s got me.

      Unt riot is unt ugly ting…It’s aboot time vee had one!!!

      My grandfather used to work for your grandfather, of course, the rates have gone up.

      I’ll stop now!!!
      Hugh

      Like

  2. Great round up as always Hugh and another week of (literally) excellent stories. Really pleased that the site is working well for you and Diane and thank you to those who have already passed on some positive comments. Very happy for further suggestions and particularly keen to hear if there are any issues or oddities experienced – can’t guarantee I’ll fix them but I’ll give it a bloody good go before masking my abject failure in a mix of psychobabble, technowaffle and general bollocks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dave,
      You are just as well trashing the talking mud puddle.
      They are never clear, pretty shallow and have questionable taste.
      Thanks as always my friend. Much appreciated.
      Hugh

      Like

    1. Hi Stefan,
      I had a look at the link.
      I have read ‘The Book Thief’ and it is excellent. What made me do a double take was when I saw somewhere that this was actually first put across as a kids book. That makes you look at it in a whole different way.
      I think Irvine Welsh’s ‘Filth’ could also be added to that list as he has a sort of growing and talking tapeworm which is actually seen throughout the book as in text in the shape of the worm. It’s weird, you really need to have a look to see what I mean.
      Thanks as always, it’s great to see you continue to comment.
      All much appreciated my friend!
      Hugh

      Like

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