Before we start, I would like to congratulate Mr Woods on his Masters win. I’ve mentioned before that he was a mad shagger and I stand by that. But to have the natural drive to look for birdie after birdie by sinking a few long ones is an amazing achievement. (Shame on any of you if you tittered. Or even more shame if you didn’t see that coming!!)
At one time, I think we all thought that it would only be a matter of time for him to beat Jack Nicklaus’s Major totals and then we thought it would never happen. Now, there’s a chance again and even though I preferred Jack, best of luck to him. Records are there to be broken and only the very best challenge them.
I also saw this week that some ex-Monk guy has become a motivational speaker. I wonder how a Monk motivates. Maybe they just Kung Fu your arse if you don’t become happier with a tad more get-up-and-go.
I’ve never went to one of these people although I did have the torture of a Sales Speaker regarding customer service. He was a complete prick. He stated that every customer should be treated the same. We all commented that you could have a hundred customers and you would treat everyone differently, the only thing that is constant is courtesy. He thought this was wrong. Prick! Would I try and sell a guy some Crystal Champagne if he was in for some White Lightning? He thought so. He told us we couldn’t generalise but then he was saying that we should treat everyone the same. He wouldn’t have lasted five minutes on a shop floor without someone nutting him.
He was also one of those enthusiastic Pricks, just like Life Coaches and Motivational Speakers.
What exactly do life coaches do? Tell you to breathe I presume.
And those speakers are only a few ‘marriages’ away from a cult. And when you think on it, if you are a serial killer maybe you should become a motivational speaker, then a cult leader and then kill off your flock, go back to the speaking, build up your following, become a cult and then kill off your flock and so forth.
This would help so much as those who become involved in cults embarrass themselves by enthusiastically professing their love on sofas and making terrible films.
We really don’t have many cults in Scotland. Well apart from the Masons and Tupperware.
I want to start my own but I don’t really want to kill anyone (That is maybe debatable) and I want to lay all my cards on the table and not get into any trouble with the authorities. So I want to start the ‘Give Me A Thousand Pounds And I Will Do Fuck All For You Cult.’ How could I be done from Trading Standards with that as a selling point and an honest explanation on exactly what I would do for you?
OK onto this week’s stories.
We had two old friends and three new folks.
Our subjects this week include; siblings, the war, a legacy, a spiel and memories.
As always our initial comments follow.
First up we had Des Kelly. Des has been with us since the early days and has a very interesting and extensive back catalogue.
He added to this on Monday with, ‘Burnt Orange.’
‘I like being left with the thought of what it means when we light a candle.’
‘I was enthralled by this.’
‘The scene was painted very well.’
On Tuesday we had the first of our new writers. We welcome all of them.
Marco Theridge was next up with ‘The Crying Man.’
‘The scenario is set up to let the reader decide how they feel about the MC.’
‘Enjoyable. The writing is excellent.’
‘Interesting and thought provoking.’
I’m sure that I don’t need to say any more than next up was Mr Tom Sheehan.
His volume of work is more than amazing.
Our story on Wednesday was Tom’s, ‘Sometimes A Real Dream Has To Have A Place Of Its Own Or It’s Gone Forever.‘
‘Lyrical and a tribute.’
‘This had a lovely pace.’
‘I loved the image of the tools on the wall.’
Thursday brought us our next new writer. We hope that they all have a long association with us.
‘A Turtle’s Farewell’ was Lisa Michelle’s first story for us.
‘The section about his family dog and tying that in with his wee dog looking for him was heartbreaking.’
‘A terribly poignant yet honest story.’
‘There are some lovely images in this.’
And on Friday we had our last new story teller.
Eddie Fogler completed the week with a little bit of nastiness. (That’s the way that we like it!!)
‘Sister’ finished off the week.
‘Dark and unsettling.’
‘I loved the fucked up logic of protecting the parents so that would give a reason to kill the kid.’
‘The thoughts as she carried the baby upstairs were brilliantly done.
That’s us for another week guys.
The usual reminders.
It’s great to see more folks who are commenting regularly. Peter, John and Darnell have now joined our old faithful and it is a pleasure seeing them all around the site. Thanks so much guys.
But we are always looking for more!
And also remember The Sunday Re-Run. If you see an old story that you like, send us a spiel and we will publish as is. If you even want to throw in a question we will see how shy the author is.
I think my ‘Give Me A Thousand Pounds And I Will Do Fuck All For You Cult.’ is a non-starter so I’ll continue with my fall-back.
(Founder member of ‘The Sit On The Couch Myself And Get Pissed Whilst Listening To Leonard Cohen Cult.’)
Check out his song ‘Everybody Knows’.
‘Concrete Blonde’ also do a cracking version.
But I prefer them doing ‘Side Of The Road’
And that reminds me of Echobelly’s ‘King Of The Kerb’
And that then takes me to Gary Moore and Phil Lynott singing ‘Parisian Walkways.’
Banner – Scottish Cult Image from Pixabay.!!