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Week 219 – Masters, Monks And Truthfully Lethargic Cults.

Before we start, I would like to congratulate Mr Woods on his Masters win. I’ve mentioned before that he was a mad shagger and I stand by that. But to have the natural drive to look for birdie after birdie by sinking a few long ones is an amazing achievement. (Shame on any of you if you tittered. Or even more shame if you didn’t see that coming!!)

At one time, I think we all thought that it would only be a matter of time for him to beat Jack Nicklaus’s Major totals and then we thought it would never happen. Now, there’s a chance again and even though I preferred Jack, best of luck to him. Records are there to be broken and only the very best challenge them.

I also saw this week that some ex-Monk guy has become a motivational speaker. I wonder how a Monk motivates. Maybe they just Kung Fu your arse if you don’t become happier with a tad more get-up-and-go.

I’ve never went to one of these people although I did have the torture of a Sales Speaker regarding customer service. He was a complete prick. He stated that every customer should be treated the same. We all commented that you could have a hundred customers and you would treat everyone differently, the only thing that is constant is courtesy. He thought this was wrong. Prick! Would I try and sell a guy some Crystal Champagne if he was in for some White Lightning? He thought so. He told us we couldn’t generalise but then he was saying that we should treat everyone the same. He wouldn’t have lasted five minutes on a shop floor without someone nutting him.

He was also one of those enthusiastic Pricks, just like Life Coaches and Motivational Speakers.

What exactly do life coaches do? Tell you to breathe I presume.

And those speakers are only a few ‘marriages’ away from a cult. And when you think on it, if you are a serial killer maybe you should become a motivational speaker, then a cult leader and then kill off your flock, go back to the speaking, build up your following, become a cult and then kill off your flock and so forth.

This would help so much as those who become involved in cults embarrass themselves by enthusiastically professing their love on sofas and making terrible films.

We really don’t have many cults in Scotland. Well apart from the Masons and Tupperware.

I want to start my own but I don’t really want to kill anyone (That is maybe debatable) and I want to lay all my cards on the table and not get into any trouble with the authorities. So I want to start the ‘Give Me A Thousand Pounds And I Will Do Fuck All For You Cult.’ How could I be done from Trading Standards with that as a selling point and an honest explanation on exactly what I would do for you?


OK onto this week’s stories.

We had two old friends and three new folks.

Our subjects this week include; siblings, the war, a legacy, a spiel and memories.

As always our initial comments follow.


First up we had Des Kelly. Des has been with us since the early days and has a very interesting and extensive back catalogue.

He added to this on Monday with, ‘Burnt Orange.’

‘I like being left with the thought of what it means when we light a candle.’

‘I was enthralled by this.’

‘The scene was painted very well.’


On Tuesday we had the first of our new writers. We welcome all of them.

Marco Theridge was next up with ‘The Crying Man.’

‘The scenario is set up to let the reader decide how they feel about the MC.’

‘Enjoyable. The writing is excellent.’

‘Interesting and thought provoking.’


I’m sure that I don’t need to say any more than next up was Mr Tom Sheehan.

His volume of work is more than amazing.

Our story on Wednesday was Tom’s, ‘Sometimes A Real Dream Has To Have A Place Of Its Own Or It’s Gone Forever.

‘Lyrical and a tribute.’

‘This had a lovely pace.’

‘I loved the image of the tools on the wall.’


Thursday brought us our next new writer. We hope that they all have a long association with us.

‘A Turtle’s Farewell’ was Lisa Michelle’s first story for us.

‘The section about his family dog and tying that in with his wee dog looking for him was heartbreaking.’

‘A terribly poignant yet honest story.’

‘There are some lovely images in this.’


And on Friday we had our last new story teller.

Eddie Fogler completed the week with a little bit of nastiness. (That’s the way that we like it!!)

‘Sister’ finished off the week.

‘Dark and unsettling.’

‘I loved the fucked up logic of protecting the parents so that would give a reason to kill the kid.’

‘The thoughts as she carried the baby upstairs were brilliantly done.


That’s us for another week guys.

The usual reminders.

It’s great to see more folks who are commenting regularly. Peter, John and Darnell have now joined our old faithful and it is a pleasure seeing them all around the site. Thanks so much guys.

But we are always looking for more!

And also remember The Sunday Re-Run. If you see an old story that you like, send us a spiel and we will publish as is. If you even want to throw in a question we will see how shy the author is.

I think my ‘Give Me A Thousand Pounds And I Will Do Fuck All For You Cult.’ is a non-starter so I’ll continue with my fall-back.



(Founder member of ‘The Sit On The Couch Myself And Get Pissed Whilst Listening To Leonard Cohen Cult.’)


Check out his song ‘Everybody Knows’.

‘Concrete Blonde’ also do a cracking version.

But I prefer them doing ‘Side Of The Road’

And that reminds me of Echobelly’s ‘King Of The Kerb’

And that then takes me to Gary Moore and Phil Lynott singing ‘Parisian Walkways.’


Banner – Scottish Cult Image from Pixabay.!!



9 thoughts on “Week 219 – Masters, Monks And Truthfully Lethargic Cults.”

  1. It shouldn’t seem odd that people feel good for persons who comeback positively after sending their own lives, by their own actions, into the sewer. We all do it. Good for Mr. Woods. Ever see the clip of the old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson when Johnny asks Nicklaus’ wife if she ever kissed her husband’s balls for luck? The lady walked out. Good for her. Was feeling a bit sorry for Quasimodo until the euros began rolling in. Gotta hunch that the old boy will scamper off with the loot and head to Monte Carlo. It will give him a scandal to come back from and provide people with something new to feel good about.


    1. Thanks for making me smile as usual Leila.
      I have only ever been in Notre Dame once and I didn’t have any sense of serenity or enlightenment, I just felt terrible. A bit like Damon Thorn did when he was taken to a Christening. I think I was Quasimodo in a past life.
      If anyone wants to donate for the repair that is up to them. I would question however whether or not The Catholic Church have a few funds squirrelled away that they could tap into.
      Over here, the idiot public took the hit for the restoration due to the fire at Windsor Castle but those that mainly paid, I have no sympathy for as this was entrance fees to the ‘Big Hoose’ in that London. (Some call it Buckingham Palace – I call it ‘Where the bodies are buried’) So hell mend them for paying to see what they would never afford, be privileged to and be oppressed from.
      I don’t want to think on any tax element that I personally paid as I would grudge even one fucking penny!!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Being as American as a convenience store robbery–especially a Western American, I have zero feelings about very old, symbolic buildings. In Seattle, where I was born, the “iconic” Space Needle has yet to see sixty.
        I wonder, perhaps, if some Catholics have the ability to interpret what happened to that scary looking church as a message from the Boss. Could be He is a bit pissed about all the pedophile sex scandals. Who knows. The way I see it, no matter where you are, there’s more important things to do with money than invest in the past.
        Take care,

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Peter,
      Now think on this. Golfers will entertain and do things. That is not what my cults are about. They do exactly what they say on the tin.
      But to be truthful being robbed by misrepresentation is what our society is all about!!!
      Thank you so much for your continual involvement in the site!!
      All the very best my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Tiger Woods story would make for a fascinating, though unbelievable, movie. Regarding the first paragraph of this fun post, I did titter, and I didn’t see that coming!


    1. Hi Dave,
      It sounds like you should start on the screen-play. How about, ‘Tigers Back With Balls’ for the title?? It works on so many levels!
      Thanks as always my friend!!


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