You are here now and it is you who calls the shots.
If there is anything you want to talk about, you can.
I see you’re doing very well in English. Miss Patterson is impressed by your story telling. You express yourself very well.
But that’s writing, it’s not real is it?
And even if there is some of you in there, nothing is as powerful as hearing your own voice.
When you are ready…
…Talking is what you need to do
Did you have a nice birthday? I see that your mum and dad got you a new guitar. Maybe some day you will play for me.
I spoke about you talking last time, but we don’t need to, not until you’re ready. Play your music, sing and write your stories. To separate your thoughts, let your voice only be used when you want to open up.
Thanks so much for the link. It was lovely to hear your voice. You sing very well. I was interested in the words. I wondered why those words? Maybe you’ll explain them to me some day.
So since you did the singing, I’ll do the talking.
…Was that a smile?
I hate to mention this when you seem a little happier but it’s something I need to speak to you about
…It’s acceptance. Don’t be scared, I’m not asking for anything from you I just want you to listen and consider what I say.
You never wanted that attention. It was never your fault. You need to realise. You need to believe and accept this.
You simply need to accept your own thoughts.
What was the third song about?
Can I say what I thought?
Another smile, I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.
I don’t think it was a happy song, I took it as pain, not physical, it was never physical but it was all about from inside. You were in turmoil.
You have recognised this and that’s very good.
All these talks are for you to move on.
I apologise. There’s no way that I can say this without you feeling that I’m insulting you. I’m sure you have the intelligence to realise that I’m not. Everyone is now here to help you. You need to sort out your own thoughts but you also need to listen to advice. And I can’t stress this strongly enough, it’s still all about you. It’s all your decisions no matter what anyone advises.
You’re a little more relaxed today. You look well, so I hope that I’ve read this correctly and you are ready for another uncomfortable topic.
Ahh, a swallow and a nod. Nerves and bravery, that’s a very understandable mix.
Can I bring up what I was thinking of?
I’ll not dwell on this but it’s something you need to realise. You see, everyone who has any experience understands.
…If it ever felt good, that isn’t something that you need to beat yourself up about. Physical pleasure is simply that. No matter who strokes a puppy, the puppy will enjoy the touch. It’s a physical reaction, nothing more. It’s whether you wanted the attention that’s the issue.
There’d be no guilt if you wanted it.
You never need to do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. But sometimes what makes us realise and heal is uncomfortable to begin with so that is an exception…Do you understand?
Good! You are doing really well. You will heal, I know you will.
You told me that they are not here anymore. Can you tell me a little more as I don’t understand?
But this is all good for you moving on as long as you are ready to.
I’m sorry but I found out, I promise I wasn’t prying, it was a professional conversation and I found out that they died. I take it that you have mixed emotions?
I don’t want to upset or give you the impression that I know best but is it because of who they were that makes you sad?
…I thought so.
When someone you trust takes from you, that isn’t acceptable and it only confuses.
It wasn’t right what he did to you and it wasn’t your fault.
You realise that now, don’t you? You didn’t want this to happen, it felt right but because of who he was, you knew that it was wrong?
You never consented. He was breaking the law.
You’ve done so well.
You’re ready to move on.
You just need to take that final step and you know what it is.
…’He was my Granddad.’
That was very brave of you.
You had to say who he was, that’s why you were so confused and that’s why it was so wrong.
You’ve come a long way and you decide whether you need to see me again.
I’m proud of you.
Do you think that you have moved on?
No? There’s always doubt.
But you can totally move on if you own it.
All you need to do is trust.
I hope I’ve helped.
You know I understand!
You enjoyed feeling good.
So Sam, if you want to show me, this time there’ll be no guilt.
…And we can both feel good.