All Stories, Crime/Mystery/Thriller, General Fiction, Writing

A Matter Of Taste by Hugh Cron

Please be aware – Very strong adult content. Colourful language. May be offensive to some readers.


“Your wife’s pussy tastes so good!”

“That’s because of all the times I marinaded it.”

“…I don’t give a fuck.”

“So you prick, how do you feel that you’ve tasted me? Personally I feel violated.”

“You being violated, I’m fucking ecstatic about that!”

“Really. Are you really? If you are such a bad bastard, have you even considered why I am not sitting here shitting myself. I mean, here I have ‘Big Bad Mental Who The Fuck’ who is shagging my wife coming here to have it out with me. Me, a fucking accountant and I’ve not shit myself yet. Tell me you tit, are there no alarm bells ringing in your head?”

“No you are fuck all to me.”

“That is fair. So can we be in agreement that you are fuck all to me too?”

“…I suppose.”

“Thank fuck! We are getting somewhere. I can see by the sweat on your brow and your hesitation that you are beginning to get nervous. Maybe you are starting to realise that not all is how you thought it was.”

“She’s coming with me and there’d better not be any issues.”


“She is mine now. Do you want to do something about it?”

“Ah bravado, the last grasp of the fucked!”

“…I don’t want to see you near her.”

“I, I wont. Did I say that softly enough for you? Do I sound scared enough? Have you achieved what you set out to do?”

“…As long as we understand each other.”

“I understand you. But I think that you are a bit on the fucking retarded side.

…Sit down.”

…“No I have said what I came here to say.”

“I advise you, sit the fuck down!!”

“…Right, I’m sitting…What do you want to say?”

“Do you fucking hear yourself? Take her. I don’t give a fuck. Keep her. Pay for her. And fuck my remnants!”

“…As long as we understand each other.”

“You really are a prick of a cunt! You came here, into my pub to what? To ‘have it out’. There is nothing to have out except your insignificant dick that is fucking what used to be my wife. Now if I was you I’d fuck off before I decide that I fucking care!

…What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?”

“…Fair enough…We know where we stand.”

“Are you for fucking real? Where do we stand exactly? Look around you pussy bawz! Every mad mental fucker in here will do what I say. You didn’t fucking consider that did you. When you were licking her out did you smile when you thought that you were about to fuck the nerdy accountants wife? Did she ever speak about me with any context?”

“…I’m not sure.”

“Really? Think fucking hard.”


“I know she didn’t! If she had you’d never have come here. I do other things.”


“Never mind ‘I’. You are in the shit. The cow bitch has wanted to escape and that’s why she let you fuck her. Wait a minute…How many blow jobs before you got up her? Was that just before she asked you to take her away? How fucking romantic.”


“What? Fucking ‘what’? Is that all you have to say for yourself? I’ve asked you a question regarding my wife. I think that that you could show me some common courtesy by answering my fucking question.”


“’What’, ‘Emm!’ You stammering prick. Is that all you have to say for your self?”

“… What happened between us has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me! I fucking knew it! She is a manipulative bitch, I’ll give her that.”

“All I wanted to do…”

“Fuck off! You hadn’t a clue what you were doing! And you certainly haven’t a clue what you have just done. Watch this!!

…Peter, turn the sign and lock the fucking door.”


“You’ve turned very fucking white, that’s what you’ve done! Do you have a fear of locked doors? You should.”

“…Jason, I’m sorry.”

“You total bawless fuck! Have you no pride to even save face? Take a kicking and at least you had faced me. But ‘Jason, I’m sorry’! You make me fucking sick!”

“…There’s no need for this.”

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like my friends gathering around? And these guys are the best friends ever because that is what I pay them to do. Fuck, when you look at them, they are not just suits, they are really big fuckers in suits! Hopefully you are getting the picture about me not only being an accountant?”


“Speak up you little prick.”

“…What can I do? Please? I’ll do anything.”

“Did you hear that boys? Quite a change from the brave cunt that came in here fifteen minutes ago to confront me about him fucking my wife. Fuck me! I think there is a tear in its eye!! It’ll probably shit itself next.”

“…What do you want from me?


…Don’t hurt me.”

“I’d only waste my fist on those I respect.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave. You’ll never see me again.”

“Well done, that’s what I want, I don’t want to see you again. Or the whore of a wife, you are fucking welcome to her but I do want one thing from you.”


“I want to taste you!”

“…I don’t understand.”

“If you can’t work it out, I have a few deviants who will be more than happy to show you!”

“…You mean you want my wife?”

“Well you obviously don’t as you are fucking off with a whore-bitch. Dave, Peter, go with this fuckwit and make sure I would be able to taste him.”

“…My wife isn’t at home.”

“No…But your daughter is.”


Hugh Cron

9 thoughts on “A Matter Of Taste by Hugh Cron”

  1. I am unoffendable. I thought that “Caligula” was a fine screwball comedy. Didn’t see the end of this piece coming. On the matter of structure, you did well. Entire work in dialogue without description, hell without attributions, is dangerous due to possible confusion. But it holds together to the degree that it could not be done any other way.


    1. Thanks so much Leila,
      It takes a lot to offend me. I like to think of live and let live. The only thing that slightly irks / enrages me are royalists, but what do you do, pity them or kill them with their plastic flags?

      I really appreciate your kind comments and critique of my stories.
      Thanks again.


    1. Thanks Dave.
      It makes me feel all fuzzy in side knowing that maybe one of my profanities will help you in the future!

      All the very best my friend.


    1. Hi Rebecca,
      At least it wasn’t illustrated!!!

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment, it is much appreciated. No matter how long I do this, I still get a buzz from any feedback.

      All the very best.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry David,
      I was just doing some tidying when I saw that I hadn’t answered you.
      Thank you so much for your time and comments.
      I never think on a story, it all evolves from a single line. I am quite a sarcastic person (I will admit it is a total defence mechanism) and me considering response was when I thought of this.
      Thanks again!
      All the very best my friend.


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