Week 91 – Team Building, Genitalia And A Plea.

typewriter
Here we are folks at the end of another seven days and the usual Saturday round-up for Week 91.

Before I begin, I need to thank Adam Kluger for giving me my inspiration for this week. I was commenting on one of his many excellent stories and ‘Team building’ was mentioned. I felt a cringe, a growing anger and a prayer that this abomination / humiliation / waste-of time, pile of nonsense, will one day, cease to exist.

I read an article about this very topic many years ago and I wish I’d thought of it as a story but here goes. (I may exaggerated and embellish a wee bit but you’ll get the point.)

There was a team building day and after the usual morning coffee and explanations of participation being essential, the poor victims found themselves in a punt type boat in the middle of a kiddies boating pond. There were eight or so of them and of course the enthusiastic, instructor walloper. (Which is a Scottish word for a penis.) Anyhow, he shouts in a loud, overacted panic and enthusiastic voice,

“New scenario – The boat is sinking! We must get into the water and form a circle to stay safe from sharks!!”

He dived over the side into four feet of water. The victims looked at each other and began to shake their heads.

“Quick you will be sucked under!!”

No-one moved.

“The boat is sinking!! Quick before it’s too late!!”

Nothing.

“You’re all going to die!!”

The smokers amongst them lit up.

“Quickly!! Last chance!!”

Zilch.

He sheepishly waded out of the water.

On returning to the work place their manager asked him how they got on.

He answered, “It was a complete success! I got them all to stick together.”

As he left they all muttered under their breaths ‘Fud’ (Which is a Scottish word for a vagina.)

I’ve been subjected to Team Building only once. I argued with my boss and told her that I wasn’t going as it would be mince. She told me that she thought that I had an open mind, that I couldn’t criticise until I had been and besides all that I was contracted to go. I went. It WAS mince.

We threw bean-bags, made a large triangle with string, discussed scenarios and at the end had to make up a poem between our teams of four. I have written a lot of poetry over many years and you’d have thought that I would have had some pride in my effort and some inspiration. I did but my team mates wouldn’t allow me to read what I had written.

All throughout that endless day, some apology of a human being was scribbling down on a clip-board. I truly regret that I never got arrested that day.

OK, onto this weeks stories. Another mix-match that we hope you enjoyed.

We had a serial killer, a dragon, a house hunting and haunting, eventual Nirvana and no matter what way you look at it, a horror. As usual, our initial comments follow.

Neil MacDonald is new to the site, so we welcome him and hope he continues to contribute. His fantasy short ‘Bomaru’s Quest Part IV‘ was first up on Monday.

‘Nifty and a wry punch to authors.’

‘The end made me smile.’

‘Well written.’

On Tuesday we had the mistress of the macabre, Diane Dickson with her unsettling tale ‘Memories Are Made Of This

We were all in agreement that this story was all about the excellent way that Diane built it up. We knew what the reveal was going to be but her understatement of the trigger to these events was a joy to read.

It was our continual privilege to post another gem from Leila Allison. The wonderfully titled ‘Seekers Of The Wow Signal Emoji‘ was up on Wednesday.

‘Leila uses language so well.’

‘Quirky in her delivery.’

‘This was a pleasure to read, I loved it.’

We had another new person on Thursday. Ted Myres had his story ‘Bardo Train To Canarsie‘ published. We are privileged to be the first to publish this as it is already a competition finalist. (Details on his author’s page.) We wish him the very best of luck with it.

‘This is a solid addition to the site.’

‘I really do think that the readers will enjoy this.’

‘I wished that there was more!!’

And then came Friday. It is always a pleasure and an honour to be included.

For going on four years now, I need to thank the other author’s for their continual help, support and enthusiasm with my ramblings.

My story ‘Chicken‘ ended the week.

Just before I go I would appeal for more stories. If you are a first timer, we want to see your work and if you are an old hand, well you know the system by now. For whatever reason, we’ve struggled over the last couple of weeks with numbers of submissions. So dust down those nearly finished pieces of genius that are lying in drawers, under the bed or more likely in ‘draft’ and give them a polish. Also to all those folks who give us a ‘Like’, which we appreciate greatly, why not let us hear your voice with a wee comment. All the authors appreciate this!

Well I have yapped on enough folks so refuse training days, check out your ‘in draft’ and find a voice. If I knew how to put a thumbs up icon in here I would!

Hugh

7 thoughts on “Week 91 – Team Building, Genitalia And A Plea.

    • Thanks Dave!
      I always appreciate comments whether for stories or the Saturday posts.
      I am glad that you have mentioned the initial comments because I wasn’t sure if anyone wanted to read them.
      I don’t even know if any new authors realise that they get a plug on this post.
      Great to see you on the site.
      All the very best my friend.
      Hugh

      Like

  1. Reading about a need for submissions had me out in my turkey pen. Oh, ho, ho, there’s a temptation to nab one and set it loose, but the goddam thing would most likely drown looking up at the rain. Oh well, I’m certain that the old and new will soon fill in the vacuum.
    L>A.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I cannot resist sharing the following:
    “Eyes that see yet cannot think convey the same degree of wisdom as those of a blind swami,” said the turkey.
    “Giblets and gravy happeneth to you all,” said I.
    L.A.

    Like

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