Editor Picks, General Fiction, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 472: Where Have You Gone Darby Crash? Punk Bed Fiasco and Not All That Irritates Makes a Pearl

Whether it Be Curbing or Kerbing, Nothing Vomits Sweeter Than Stolen Beer

Society has been going to hell since the invention of the Good Old Days. Funny thing there–because it’s true and yet there are new Good Old Days rolling out of the Good Old Days Factory constantly. A Paradox, until you remember that New People are being produced at even a greater frequency.

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Literally Reruns, Short Fiction

Sunday Rerun: Recall and Reveille by Tom Sheehan

Our friend Tom Sheehan does everything in a big yet dignified way. He has the most stories and years and (probably reruns). And it is from his sizable pile of successful stories (gleaned from a long and successful life) we once again run Recall and Reveille.

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All Stories, Editor Picks, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 466: Greatness Schmerateness; Five New Stories and Dueling Old Lists

When I was in high school A Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin was considered the greatest rock song (greatest as in “progressive”–whose heyday was from the mid-sixties through the mid-seventies). Anyway, that’s what the guys on the FM radio said. At the start of this month (fifty years later, on the station that’s always playing where I work) Seattle’s “Home of Classic Rock,” KZOK, again voted it number one (narrowly edging out Bohemian Rhapsody, which finished second for the fifth year in a row). For the record, the Queen song is truly an innovative thing–it blew minds when it came around in 1976; and to be honest, I have always disliked Stairway. Fairly or otherwise I associate it with the slacker in an army coat who stank of weed and sat behind me in Social Studies class. He always fell asleep and I had to whack him on the head with exam papers when it was time to pass them back. A minor annoyance in my life, yet I have yet to forget it.

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Editor Picks, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 464: Happily Never After and Antisocial People Have Feelings Too

Happily Never After

I cannot help but knock feel good fiction. It reminds me of Heaven, which no one has ever described to my satisfaction. From what I have seen, Heaven looks like an eternal installment of Songs of Praise (I thought the USA had a monopoly in the department of hokey religious programming, but the UK has once again exposed my ignorance).

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Short Fiction

Ian by Hugh Cron

Ian was a stereotype.

I didn’t really know him but I knew his wife.

The reason I say ‘stereotype’ is that he was a raging alcoholic but unbelievably functional. The usual story here, he worked in the entertainment industry as a lighting man for a theatre and that was a life that had alcohol not just at the end of the day, also throughout. As long as he could shine a spotlight and in these more technical days, programme a system, no one gave a shit.

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All Stories, General Fiction, Short Fiction

Peter by Hugh Cron (Strong Adult Content)

“I need to speak to Peter.”

Ann looked at him and worried straight away.

“What’s wrong love, why has he got you so riled – I mean, for fuck sake, he’s Peter, the most inoffensive wee guy that we’ve ever known.”

Colin gave her a hug, “I don’t want to say anything until I hear his side.”

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All Stories, Editor Picks, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 462: Rule 17; Necessary Words; A to Z of Needless Words

Well here we are, the holidays behind us, in a brand spanking New Year, which, in my eyes, already looks as fresh as a recently widowed elderly French rent boy cruising the cafes in search of a breathing benefactor. But to those of you who insist on at least benign, if not kind or P.C. expressions–well, happy new year to you and many more I am sure.

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Fantasy, Humour, Short Fiction

My Fair Juan G Starring Boots the Impaler By Leila Allison

I was watching the 1969 Science Fiction flick The Valley of Gwangi on TV last month. It was playing on the ancient Philco set that connects the PDQ network in our sister realm of Other Earth to my home realm of Saragun Springs. The film was the final Ray Harrhausen/Willis O’Brien dinosaur picture. The story involved a thirty-foot tall, psychotic Allosaurus named (brace yourself) “Gwangi,” who somehow managed to reproduce (apparently without a Mrs. Gwangi) and survive at a “Forbidden Valley” in Mexico with other unlikely creatures for at least 145-million years–without, mind you, attracting notice until 1969–that from a reptile with the brain power of a caraway seed.

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Editor Picks, General Fiction, Humour, Short Fiction

Week 460: Terminating The Tree With Extreme Prejudice and Welcome to the Holiday Rerun Fest

Fang and Rags circa 1972

Well here we are, Christmas. Today I choose to remember it well. My family used to include a Dachshund-Chihuahua mix named “Fang” who joined the team when I was in sixth grade (named after Phyllis Diller’s fictional husband). Fang was a fairly peaceful little guy but he hated Christmas trees. Every year he would attack the damn thing late at night at least once. His partner in crime “Rags,” a tiny Rat Terrier, would encourage Fang with little barks, but feign innocence when the light came on.

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Editor Picks, General Fiction, Latest News, Short Fiction

458: Personality Issues; Beautiful Losers and Winners

Personality

Hypocrisy and altruism stop at roughly the same point in a person. Although finally copping to your own rottenness and experiencing exhaustion at the highest level of do-goodishness you are capable of are not the same thing, both terminate close enough to the center of a person to form a picture.

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