Category: Humour

Fantasy, Humour, Short Fiction

Anita Knows by Leila Allison

ireneallison12

Act One: What Goes Up Eventually Leaves a Crater

Nowadays, the amazing comeback of the boy band, the billigits, is all the rage in Saragun Springs. The cycle of fame travels extremely fast in fantasy realms. For six weeks the boys (natives of the Springs) were flying high, superstars in the Springs’ sister realm called Other Earth; launched by the spectacular success of their debut album, meet the billigits (billigits do not use capital letters). Yet six weeks later, the band imploded, and the billigits were just another pockmark in the town of hasbeenville.

Continue reading “Anita Knows by Leila Allison” →
All Stories, Humour, Romance

Leon’s Magic Love by Harrison Kim

literallystories2014

On Saturday night, Leon and his friend Max  “The Rhythm Wonders,” played guitar and sang at Tom Kosk’s stag party.  Tom was engaged to Samantha Ciaccia, the wedding scheduled in one week.  He was already living with her, in a double wide trailer in the bush under Mount Baldy.

Continue reading “Leon’s Magic Love by Harrison Kim” →
All Stories, General Fiction, Humour

Late-Night Theological Breakthrough by Michael Bloor

literallystories2014

The pub had closed, the last bus still hadn’t arrived, the thin drizzle gave way to rain of biblical ferocity. Jimmy stood sheltering in the entrance to the dress shop, like a novelty dummy, while Willie (his tongue loosened by seven pints of IPA) explained about the likely existence of A Deid Agnostics’ Processing Panel.

Continue reading “Late-Night Theological Breakthrough by Michael Bloor” →
All Stories, General Fiction, Humour

Garf and the Purple Pickles by Landon Galliott

literallystories2014

When Garf opened his refrigerator, he saw a jar of purple pickles beside the carton of expired milk. This was strange as, only yesterday, they were green. Garf stood in his itchy annoyance before the refrigerator, his red, black-striped robe hanging off his slumped body like an old, worn-out curtain.

Continue reading “Garf and the Purple Pickles by Landon Galliott” →
Editor Picks, General Fiction, Humour, Latest News, Short Fiction

Week 501: Rage! Rage! Rage! Five Rave-Worthy Tales; Short Books Long on Story

ireneallison12

Rage!!!

But before I explode, I want to thank David Henson for his post last week (and I think he should return with more in the future). Guest posting is not going to be a one off, so who knows, maybe you will be invited to do the same. Now on with the show, as it is.

*****

Everyday I count my blessings then give Heaven the Finger. I took accounting in school (for one semester) and learned the credit/debit system, which I use to total my physical blessings versus the “other stuff” in my existence. The other stuff is made up mostly of new conditions/diseases they give you and charge your insurance for at doctors, ophthalmologists, dentists and Medieval Barbers.

Continue reading “Week 501: Rage! Rage! Rage! Five Rave-Worthy Tales; Short Books Long on Story” →
Fantasy, Humour, Short Fiction

It Had to Be Ewe by Leila Allison

ireneallison12

-1-

Beezer and Barkevious claim to be brothers. That’s unlikely in the physical sense–Beezer is a British Bulldog and Barkevious is a Scottish Terrier; but nowadays you can be anything you want to be until you try to buy life insurance. Then again, since they are talking Dogs who live in the make-believe realm of Saragun Springs, such a claim remains possible. Regardless, the boys were wandering the realm’s countryside sniffing for rancid stuff to roll in when they saw Conrad the Blackface Ram headed their way.

Continue reading “It Had to Be Ewe by Leila Allison” →
Humour, Short Fiction

Samoa Moa by James Hanna

literallystories2014

 (A Novel Excerpt)

Author’s Note

Gertie McDowell, a naïve young girl with a talent for misadventure, has joined a women’s wrestling troupe called Christian Ladies of Wrestling. The troupe was put together by Wanda Sue, a bank robber with a streak of religion whom Gertie met while serving prison time because she “trusted the wrong sort of fella.” The mission of the troupe is to bring folks closer to Jesus by having women posing as Christians wallop the daylights out of women posing as transgressors. Gertie’s wrestling persona is Haystacks Holly, a lustful temptress who leads married men astray. Her tag team partner, an Apache girl named Cocheta, is billed as Blasphemous Berta, an outspoken atheist who deifies witchcraft. Both girls incense Christian audiences by flaunting their unsavory lifestyles.

Continue reading “Samoa Moa by James Hanna” →
Fantasy, Humour, Short Fiction

Fairytale of Saragun Springs By Leila Allison

ireneallison12

When a species becomes extinct on Earth, a male and female of the kaput species are secretly stored in the fantasy multiverse, and live and multiply serenely until it is time for their Big Comeback. A sort of reversed, time-released Ark concept. Such is the case with two Passenger Pigeons named Kirsty and Shane. Both are well over a hundred years old because there’s no such thing as permanent death in fantasy realms. No one around here looks too hard into the Why and How of the thing because that might lead to belief in an “Ineffable Hand” and the inevitable buzz-killing, organized religion start-up, which no one wants in a realm where “Do What Thou Wilt” sums up one’s daily To Do list.

Continue reading “Fairytale of Saragun Springs By Leila Allison” →