Hello there folks and folkesses!
Not in a good mood this week. I hate what we have become.
There are those who worry far too much about consequence when there is none to worry about or none of it would matter anyway. It surprises me that some of them can manage to get out of bed with all the worry of ‘What if?’ or ‘I can’t offend.’
You may wonder what has enraged my already raged wrath and it may surprise you.
…Getting a reference.
I’ve knocked my pan in for nearly forty three years and am at a stage in my life where I find myself not being able to get a fucking reference. I didn’t leave Tesco in the best of terms but that was due to the thing that called itself a boss. I wish it all the worst diseases in the world and a very long and painful death.
Do you know, after much correspondence I now have to print out a permission form to get a reference. Is it me being a bit thick? Surely if you put down a reference, that is giving permission for the referee to discuss your work history??
Between that and a pussy-bawz who is terrified of committing, has stated that ‘I can’t give a reference for Hugh due to it being twenty years since I worked with him.’ What’s wrong with saying, ‘At the time I worked with Hugh, he was an adequate employee’?? Also, they could have said how I saved their arse in more than one occasion. And they’re retiring next year, so what was the issue?
…And I did a good job. I would work!!!
I truly think I hate what we, as people, have become. If the world would curl up and die tomorrow, it would be no great loss!!!
However, there was one thing about my recent job search that made me smile and that was an application I filled in for Stagecoach. (Bus company) It was one of those that you had to go into their website and do it online.
When it came to the question of gender, it only had two choices – Male / Female.
Good on them! But I wonder how many times they will be sued!!!!
Okay, that’s my age group got it so I’ll move on!!!
Parents with a young kid take a wee tip from Dr Spock – Well actually someone who knows fuck all about children apart from they smell and aren’t worth talking to until they are eighteen and can go for a pint. Then you realise that they still aren’t worth talking to!
That’s a bit harsh, there are some clever ones who can fake IDs and be in the pub years earlier. Now that is an education!!!
We never had the ID problem, if you were big enough, were shaving and had an air of confidence about you, you were in. Or easier, ask your granny for a fiver and bribe the bouncer!!
My tip, which you need to knock into your kids in whatever way you do now…(Stop them going onto Facebook, bury their phone or explain to them in a calm and understanding voice that no matter their identity you will still love them even though they are being a wee shit.)
The advice is about them screaming. If they do happen to go outside to play, tell them not to scream. I’ve heard so much over the school holidays. This brought a thought to me, and it is going back to days gone by, but this is a safety issue. Implore your kids only to scream if they are hurt, being hurt or in the vicinity of a priest with a glint in his eye or a nun with a strap. (Or Strap-on – I wasn’t going to go there but what the hell!!)
As people with a duty not to care, we need to know when to run to help. This should never be due to a spoilt little brat taking a strop because someone stood on their trainers!
Okay, onto the week’s stories.
We had two new writers, two well established and a returner.
We always offer a warm welcome to any newbies and this week is no exception!!
As always our initial thoughts follow.
Dale Williams Barrager’s comments are a wonderful tonic for every writer. Like Mick Bloor, he has helped make the Sunday postings informative and entertaining. I may be wrong, but he has had twenty four pieces of work accepted, some are scheduled and still to be seen. But he’s also a wonderful story teller. His latest offering was, ‘Then They Walked Along By The Riverside’.
‘The mood conveyed something more.’
‘Perfect tone and pace.’
‘An interesting character study of interesting characters.’
Harrison Kim has been on a fair wee role lately. ‘What Bob Remembered’ was his thirty sixth story for us.
‘The ending was quite upbeat.’
‘This has a quirky style to it.’
‘I enjoyed the odd thoughts throughout.’
Katelynn Humbles was our returning writer. Her first story was just last week.
‘Things I know To Be True’ was published on Wednesday.
‘Katelynn is a very good writer.’
‘This was quite creepy.’
‘Well thought out and brilliantly executed.’
Our two new writers finished off the last two spots.
‘My Relationship With Frances Marie Sauvegeot 1973 – 2001’ was written by Martin Reid Sanchez.
‘This was a trip into Martin’s imagination.’
‘Very peculiar, but in a good way!!’
‘Original.’
And last but not least was ‘Ecclesiastes’ by Zary Fekete.
‘The tone is lovely.’
‘An interesting little story.’
‘You want to read this over.’
That’s us all done and dusted.
I’ve no need to moan about anything. Well, to do with the site that is!
Just keep doing what you are doing folks!!
Thanks to you all!!!
Before we have some music, I’d like to share a couple of things. First off, for only the second time in god knows how many years, I saw someone on a bike with no helmet. Even those supplying or heading out for a fix wear helmets. I think they don’t want a lecture off the Police which would give the Police an excuse to look and check!
The person in question was a lovely looking lady who was as care-free as her hair. She made me smile. I know that if anything happened to her, her A&E department would go in and out through her!!
My generation rode bikes for at least thirteen years without helmets. I’m not advising, just stating!!
If we had been seen with a helmet by our class-mates, it would have been taken off our head, we would have been beaten with it and then someone would use it as a toilet!!
Ahhh, the innocence of those days!!!
I’ve heard some very inappropriate jokes lately and may try to work them in over the next few weeks. But to be honest, I’m not sure I can!!
I reckon this gem from the comedienne, Jim Jeffreys, I can re-tell.
Man goes to the doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor tells the man that the exam can cause some arousal.
The doctor does what he has to and asks the man how he is. The man states that he is not aroused and the doctor said, ‘I wasn’t talking about you.’
Thought we could have something that’s just a bit of fun. (I had to look that word up!!)
But when I see the lead singer, the man was a visionary due to his eyebrows. Many young ladies are doing the same sort of thing to theirs!!
Image: Cyclist in the evening with no helmet, a dark silhouette against a sunset sky from Pixabay.com
literally stories 
Hugh
I barely learned how to ride a bike and stopped riding the only one I ever had at age ten. That would be 1969 or so. I just don’t like them, and I do not recall ever seeing a helmet or safety gear. Of course, around here, a helmet that only keeps your head alive as the rest of you lies paralyzed like Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby after a wipe out seems cruel in a way.
I worked for a company whose policy was not to say anything good or bad about an employee, and would only confirm that the person did once work for them. Forty years and forty minutes were the same. They feared law suits for being truthful, but for once the Corporation got a comeuppance and lost a law suit regarding the fairness (lack of) over their refusal to even state if an emoloyee was eligible for rehire.
For me work place “ethics” were best stated by Mother Abigail in The Stand “Weasels in the corn!” Which as well as anything explains the presence of every needless fool in a suit I saw lurking about everywhere I worked. I bet they all rode bikes with helmets.
Oh, that joke! That’s the type “Spud” would tell to a job interviewer.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Thanks as always.
I’m actually dreading getting a start. Not for nerves or worry about whether I’ll be able to do the work, just the amount of stupid pish I know that I’ll need to put up with!!
With age, tolerance goes!!
All the very best.
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
I would hate to fill out applications, again. Once you reach fifty. You become invisible.
I met a sort of territorial guy at a trash dumpster and he was loading up the goods. He said, “I have to do this because no one will hire me. I just turned 50.”
I thought, “Fuck you man, I was going to get that stuff.”
The job market blows. What does the world produce, anyway? Just more trash and building materials to destroy it.
Now that I’m closer to the end I started wearing a helmet and a bright lime green reflective vest. I had someone yelling at me from a car awhile back. I think they were offended, but at least they didn’t hit me. I’m surprised they even saw me with their head buried into their phone or watching a movie on their dash.
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
You raise a valid point. At one time there was talk of banning lighting a cigarette in your car as it was a distraction. But as you say, all sorts are touch screen and don’t get me started with the biggest distraction of them all…Kids!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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Good post, but sorry about the job hunt issues, Hugh. At least you’re keeping your sense of humor. I’m glad those work days are behind me (although that aging thing brings other issues). That’s one funny joke … and one bizarre and excellent Elvis cover!
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It’s always a pleasure to hear from you Dave!!
Please see my answer to Leila…I honestly don’t know how much more nonsense I can take. I walked away from my last job due to the thing that called itself gaffer being a fuckwit.
My brother-in-law used to slag me off for getting soaked more times than not as I walked to work. You see I gave up driving years back. He told me that I should drive and my answer was simple – ‘I hate driving and I hate work so if I walk, that is only one thing I hate and not two!!’
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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As always you made me laugh several times while reading this. When I worked as a secretary in Jubail we had a lot of staff from India, the Phillipines etc. and they used to ask for references and my boss (who was an arse) used to ask me to put something together. I just copied the job description and said that they performed all their duties to an exemplary standard. No skin off my nose and they had enough negatives in their lives already. Mind you I did end up with a queue of employees wanting references which raised eyebrows somewhat. I do agree though, if you have put someone down as a referee then that has to be seen as permission to discuss your work etc. I loved riding my bike when I was a kid and for that matter when I was a bar maid and didn’t finish work until all the buses had stopped and would peddle home furiously in the dark. We didn’t have helmets – however I have to say my crash hat probably saved my life when we dropped our bike at speed one time and I landed on my face. Happy days. Thanks again for stirring up memories! dd
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Thanks as always Diane,
Shit, I should have said ‘Sorry’ to everyone for taking so long to answer!! But I was at a wedding and I kept in party mood all of yesterday!! Gwen, the poor soul was working last night and I ended up in a little place called, ‘Oblivion’!!
We were built of harder stuff and I think the generations before were of even hardier stuff – They were bombed and starved!!!!
However in saying that, as my post was about search for work, I have to say in a toddler type way – ‘I don’t want to do it anymore, it smells and makes me sad!!’ Ahhhhh, so that is the insisted expectation type of thinking that the snowflakes insist on???
I have no expectations. In forty three years or so of work, I’ve hated forty one of them. That would make the happiest of happy people fecking miserable!!!!
All the best my lovely friend.
Hugh
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A shout out to Katelynn for her “Things I know . . .”. She found a way to put those micro-flashy things together that works. I have to try that some day.
And thanks Hugh for the Elvis in Salen thing — directed by Tristan Tzara? It was so horrible it was beautiful. — gerry
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Hi Gerry,
There are a few videos that I can put on that cheer me up immediately. This Doctor and The Medics is one. ‘Twisted Sister’ with ‘Leader Of The Pack’ and ‘Captain Sensible’ with ‘Happy Talk’
…Well, I suppose it depends on what I’m doing immediately afterwards.
Funerals and work would be downers!!
…Maybe not the funeral, it would depend in who it was!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
It’s both comforting and horrifying to realize that Scotland has many of the exact same employment problems the USA has: evil and inhumane, shallow and arrogant bosses; difficulty navigating an utterly mad system; and an endless series of hoops to jump through that would drive anyone in their right mind insane!
It’s like Franz Kafka’s great long story “The Metamorphosis” where the dedicated traveling salesman gets turned into a bug. Only to be crushed in the end and swept out with the rest of the trash, and very rapidly replaced.
And I agree with you, there’s something very wrong with the world these days!
It is NOT as if we’re heading for a dystopia, much more it is that we ALREADY LIVE IN ONE.
Thanks for honestly sharing your troubles, trials, and tribulations with the job search.
I can honestly say that I’ve been there myself in my own way, very much so.
Too much so-called “civilization” and way too many “rules” are poisoning this world at its very roots.
Can’t say I know what will happen but it looks like we’re headed for a fall!
Dale
PS
Thanks for singing my praises when you talked about Monday, much appreciated.
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Hi Dale,
You deserve the praise!!!
I remember twenty four years back when my dad was retiring and I was thirty four. I thought to myself that I couldn’t believe how jealous I was of a fifty nine year old man. I’ll be fifty nine next year and can’t see retirement any time soon!! Well that’s even more depressing than the initial thought.
I try to think on what is specifically wrong with the world we live in and what I keep coming back to is the distribution of wealth, influencers (Fucking advert whores) and those who are more interested in talking about themselves than thinking on others.
HAH! Just realised how ironic that is considering we are discussing my own posting.
I see that Mr Musk is due more trillions if is fucking ugly car hits the sales target!! I would ask you to have a look at ‘Leave The World Behind’ with Julia Roberts – That is what should happen to all of those Teslas (I refuse to worry about the spelling. If it’s right that was pure luck)
That film is based on the terrorists playbook and has been referenced in quite a few films (‘True Detective’ – I think!! And another couple that I can’t think on!!)
I agree with you – I haven’t a Scooby where we will end up!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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I attempt to sing “Burning Love” from time to time. Song on computer just now is “Space Cowboy”. Probably not ready for that. End with “Flashdance” what a feeling.
Oddly never fired from a job. At least once I wanted to be fired so I could try for unemployment. Was not employed long. Until 1969 I was either in school or teaching school (scary that). 1969-1983 only real years employed as an actuary. 1983-1997 self unemployed as a free lance actuary (from whence arises my writing skills). Now editor is forcing us into God’s waiting room / sunset city, so my life is over. Eh, didn’t amount to much anyway.
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Hi Doug,
I’ve been known to belt out, ‘Whisky In The Jar’, ‘Imagine’ and ‘Bat Out Of Hell’
I’d love to be able to do ‘Mac The Knife’ but that last note would see me in hospital!!!!
…Actually, now that I think on it, the folks who would be running away would have more chance in ending up in hospital with bleeding ears and spontaneous thankful death!!!
All the very best my interesting friend and say ‘Hello’ to Sharon!!
Hugh
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As usual, Hugh, your piece gave me a huge smile. Thank you. Amazed that you can’t get a reference; to a pensioner like me, the World of Work seems to becoming utterly nonsensical. Although not quite as nonsensical as the Dept of Work & Pensions. Good luck with the job search, mick
ps. Another excellent video.
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Hi Mick,
Just catching up as I was at a wedding on Saturday and had a party to myself yesterday.
The wedding went well but I ended up fighting with myself yesterday!! Not sure who won and who the hell put sand in my throat this morning.
…But there is a cure for that, it’s called beer!
If I get over ‘The Fear’ I may watch the Scotland game tonight – And there it is! The fear is returning!!!!!!!
Glad you enjoyed the video, it is one of those terrible but brilliant ones!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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Great week of stories and happy to be back reading at LS. The job market is mad I imagine and I grateful (for the time being) not to need to be in it. In the 1980s, on one of the many occasions I found myself unemployed, I saw a job ad in the ‘Jobs in Other Areas’ section of the Job Centre which said ‘Trapeze Artist – training given’ – I kid you not and there is always a part of me that wishes I’d gone for it.
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Hi Paul,
It’s great to see you back!!
I did one of those job search type thingies just before I left school. Fuck knows why our career teacher simply said this is 1983, there are no jobs, I’ll sign you up for a YTS.
Anyhow it came back that I’d be suited as a fire-man. Now I do like fires (Gwen has always worried!) but I hate small spaces and am scared of heights so I thought about the YTS!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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